Valduggery Oneshots
by tomatoesonstrings
Summary: Cheesy, Valduggery, romantic...what's not to like? Please reveiw!
1. Chapter 1

**Cheesy ending, I know. Please reveiw! By the way, Skulduggery is a skeleton in this one, and Valkyrie is about 19-ish.**

Valkyrie and Skulduggery looked out towards the grey, wild sea.

The wind whipped at Valkyrie's hair, and did the same to Skulduggery's tie. They were both silent for a while, until Valkyrie said, 'I love moments like this.'

Skulduggery nodded slightly,' me too, Valkyrie...but it's late...'

Valkyrie sighed and looked at him.

'Don't go.'

'I'll see you in the morning.'

'Please stay...I don't want you to go yet...' She bit her lip and turned quickly back towards the sea. Skulduggery stayed looking at her. 'What do you mean?' Valkyrie let her hair hide her blushing face. 'What? Nothing!' He raised his hands up in surrender. 'Okay, okay, I'll stay for ten more minutes, and then I'll go.'

Valkyrie nodded quickly and suddenly felt very awkward. Skulduggery dropped his hands and stayed looking at her. She glanced at him, and turned back to the sea, 'Stop staring at me!'

Skulduggery stayed looking at her.

Valkyrie didn't trust herself to return his gaze, 'what?'

Skulduggery stepped closer towards her, 'what's wrong, Valkyrie?'

Valkyrie turned beet-red. 'I'm fine!'

He paused and said calmly, 'I know when something's wrong. And I know when you're lying.'

They were both silent once again for a while, Skulduggery's empty gaze still fixed to the side of

Valkyrie's head.

'...Valkyrie...you can tell me anything, you know that?'

Valkyrie whipped her head round to face him, 'No I can't! I can't tell you what's wrong because it's you that's the problem! I can't take you anymore, it's too much for me to never say how much I...'Valkyrie's voice trailed off. She closed her eyes and bowed her head slightly as she fought to stop the tears falling.

She heard Skulduggery shuffle slightly and felt two fingers lift her chin up. She opened her eyes to Skulduggery. He cocked his head slightly and brushed a stray tear away from her cheek using his thumb.

'Valkyrie, what have I done?' He whispered hoarsely. Valkyrie furrowed her brow to stop the tears, 'nothing.'

Skulduggery's smile was in his voice. 'Well, that's a whole lot of nothing to be upset about.' He drew his hands away and turned to the sea once again.

Valkyrie smiled and did the same, subconsciously sliding her hand into his. Skulduggery looked down at the entwined hands and then at her. 'What-'

Valkyrie's eyes widen and quickly withdrew her hand from his, blushing once again. Skulduggery cleared his non-existing throat and said quickly,' I should…go.'

Valkyrie blinked. 'I'm sorry; I didn't mean to…please stay.' Skulduggery sighed and then nodded-and put his hand back into hers. Valkyrie looked at him and he looked at her.

'I'll stay as long as you want me to, Valkyrie Cain.'

Valkyrie swallowed, 'What do you mean?'

Skulduggery turned towards her slightly, 'You never finished your sentence about me.' He brushed her fringe back behind her ear and whispered hoarsely, 'Perhaps you'd like me to finish it for you.' He leaned forward and kissed Valkyrie Cain. Valkyrie gasped slightly and then wrapped her arms around the skeleton. Skulduggery put his hands on her waist and when he parted whispered, 'I love you.' Valkyrie smiled gently and said quietly,' I love you too, Skulduggery Pleasant.' They hugged each other, Valkyrie smiling all the time. When they parted once more, Skulduggery took hold of Valkyrie's hand and turned her slightly towards the sea.

'I'll never leave you. I'll always be here.'

Valkyrie smiled and leant her head against his shoulder,' I never leave you either.'

Skulduggery put his arm around her shoulders, as they watched the sea crash against the pier.


	2. The Necklace

**Okay, I'm just going to make these a load of one-shots now :) I know that alot of people have gone with the whole necklace thing, but I thought its such a nice idea ;) any requests you have, please say, and dont forget to review-it makes my day that people have reviewed my stories-thankyou!**

Skulduggery had bought the necklace not long ago, he kept telling himself that it was purely because it would suit her, no other reason-even though he was having a tough time keeping His feelings hidden.

Valkyrie knocked on the door of 1 Cemetery Road and waited until Skulduggery opened it. Even though he's a skeleton, Valkyrie noticed the way that every time he saw her, he seemed to lighten up in mood. 'Ah, there you are.' Valkyrie grinned at him. 'Why did you want to see me?' Skulduggery shifted on the spot. 'Nothing...are you going to come in?' Valkyrie frowned slightly, but said nothing whilst walking through the door. Skulduggery closed the door behind her. If he had finger-nails, he would be biting them. He walked into the main living room and saw Valkyrie sit down onto the black leather sofa. She grinned at him again and patted her hand on to the space on the sofa. Skulduggery obliged and sat next to her, feeling extremely awkward.

Valkyrie noticed an unfamiliar small, blue satin box in Skulduggery's hand. 'What's that?' Skulduggery shifted in his seat, 'what's what?'

'The blue box.'

'That, Valkyrie, is called a TARDIS.'

Valkyrie narrowed her eyes and punched him gently on his arm.' I mean that blue box in your hand!'

Skulduggery slowly put his hand behind his back. 'Nothing.'

'I want to see!'

'It's really nothing of interest.'

'It's still something though.'

Skulduggery sighed, he felt like he couldn't give it to her now, he felt like she would be too suspicious. He wasn't concentrating, so Valkyrie took her chance. She quickly reached her hand behind his back and was centimetres away from the box, when Skulduggery reacted, holding it high above her head. Valkyrie whined in disapproval, trying to grab the box from his grasp, Skulduggery laughed and Valkyrie complained.

'That's not fair! You're too tall!'

'Well, maybe you're too short.'

'What is it! Please let me see, please?'

Skulduggery looked at her, and softened. He brought his arm down and handed the box to Valkyrie. Valkyrie cupped the box in her hands. 'Who's it for?'

Skulduggery paused,'…Well, you.'

Valkyrie frowned. 'Then why didn't you give it to me in the first place?'

Damn.

'I…thought you wouldn't like it.' Skulduggery lied.

Valkyrie nodded and put one hand over the lid. 'Can I open it?'

He shrugged.

Valkyrie paused, and opened it. Inside was a necklace-a silver chain, and on the end of it was a small, silver, intricate skull. By the clasp of the necklace was a silver capital 'V' with a tiny diamond across each point.

Valkyrie gasped and gently followed the chain with her finger. Skulduggery leaned over her shoulder, trying to read her expression. His voice sounded cautious. 'I...if you don't like it-' He was cut short when Valkyrie flung herself into Skulduggery's arms, knocking him back. 'I love it, love it, LOVE IT!' she squealed. Skulduggery eventually tapped Valkyries back after getting over the shock.

'That's good to know Valkyrie, now it would be great if you wouldn't break my ribs.' Valkyrie laughed and parted. 'It's beautiful, Skulduggery, thank you.' She pulled it carefully out of the box, paused, and turned back to Skulduggery. 'Can you help me with this?' Skulduggery was thankful that it was impossible for him to blush, and shuffled closer towards her. Valkyrie handed Skulduggery the necklace and turned her back to him. Skulduggery undid the clasp and then hesitated.

'Valkyrie…your, um…hair.'

Valkyrie shrugged. 'Oh, just brush it back.'

Skulduggery nodded and brushed her hair over her shoulder, feeling ridiculously embarrassed. He swung the necklace round her neck and fastened it. 'There.'

Valkyrie smiled and was about to spin around again, when she noticed Skulduggery hadn't taken his hands away from her neck. She turned her head round to see him looking at her neck. 'S…Skul?' Skulduggery realised what he was doing and quickly snatched back his hands. 'Sorry.'

'It's…okay.'

Skulduggery nodded and let his gaze wander to the floor. Valkyrie stood up, making him jump.

'I have to get back.'

'Of course, I'll pick you up tomorrow.'

Valkyrie smiled and walked to the door.' Thanks again for the necklace…that's very sweet of you.'

Skulduggery shifted in his seat.' Well…it suits you.'

Valkyrie grinned.' Aw, thanks! See you tomorrow.' Valkyrie waved airily and walked out of the house, closing the door behind her, leaving Skulduggery alone.

'_One day,'_ He told himself, _'One day I'll tell her.'_

**_There _you go! Hope you liked it, I think it's one of my favourites.**


	3. Skating part 1

'Ice-skating.'

'Yeah.'

Valkyrie sighed,' but I can't skate!' Skulduggery cocked his head. 'But that doesn't matter.'

'And why not?'

'Because I can.' Valkyrie punched his arm. Skulduggery laughed quietly. Valkyrie sighed again.

'Anyway, why should we go ice-skating?'

Skulduggery shifted on the spot, looking at his feet. 'Well, I just thought…it, um, might be a nice idea.' Valkyrie raised her eyebrows, 'what's that supposed to mean?'

'We don't have to go if you don't want to…' Valkyrie laughed. 'No, let's go, but if I fall and die, I blame you.' Skulduggery nodded.

The pond had completely frozen over in the woods, the wind biting into any passer-by, the trees bowed around the pond. Valkyrie pulled her coat closer across her and looked at Skulduggery. 'Trust you to pick somewhere creepy and completely deserted.' Skulduggery shrugged. 'Well, less people to embarrass yourself in front of.'

'That because there is no one here.'

'Indeed.'

Valkyrie looked behind her. 'Are you sure we're allowed to skate here?' Skulduggery sat down and pulled of his shoes and started to slip on the skates. 'It's fine.' Valkyrie rolled her eyes and did the same. Once they had both got ready, Skulduggery walked on to the ice like it was just another patch of snow. Valkyrie tried to do the same, but lost her balance as soon as she stood on the ice, and began to topple to one side. Skulduggery spun back around and put one hand on her arm and the other on her waist.

'You OK?'

Valkyrie wobbled again but managed to nod. 'Yeah.' They both looked at each other, Skulduggery still not letting go of her.

'Skulduggery?'

Skulduggery quickly straightened up. 'Right. Yes.' He began to skate around on his own, and then heard a squeal from behind him. He turned, to see Valkyrie sprawled on the ice.


	4. Skating part 2

Skulduggery fought back a laugh, and glided back towards her. After helping Valkyrie up, Skulduggery stood by her, concerned. 'Shall…we go round together?'

Valkyrie looked up at him and smiled. 'Yes, thanks.' Skulduggery gently held on to Valkyries arm and put the other around her waist, and started to lead her around the ice. After a few minutes, Valkyrie's confidence grew, she straightened up properly, smiling despite the coldness. Skulduggery glanced at her every so often, and displaced the air around them, making them glide easily across the ice. Valkyrie laughed as Skulduggery spun her around, Skulduggery pulling her closer every time she wobbled.

After sometime, Valkyrie could skate on her own, but refused to leave Skulduggery's side. Skulduggery picked up speed, gliding both of them faster and faster around the pond. Valkyrie gasped as Skulduggery displaced the air once more and raised her slightly above the ice, and then dropped her steadily back down again.

Skulduggery directed them both to the middle of the pond, still spinning them around slowly in a small circle. Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie, not letting go of her hands. Both of them looked up at the sky, as it started to snow. Skulduggery looked back at Valkyrie's awe-struck face as she watched the snowflakes fall, her face a rosy pink.

'Are you cold?'

Valkyrie looked at him. 'No, I'm ok.'

'You're turning into Rudolf, Val.'

Valkyrie bit her lip. 'Well…maybe a bit…'

Skulduggery laughed gently, and pulled her into a hug. Valkyrie smiled and hugged him back. When they parted, Skulduggery directed both of them to the end of the pond and helped Valkyrie slide off the ice and onto the snow. He sat them both down and started to take off his skates, until he noticed her struggling with untying her own skates. Skulduggery shuffled over to Valkyrie and noticed her hands were bright red with cold, numbed so her fingers wouldn't work that well. 'Are you OK?'

Valkyrie looked up at him. 'Um…no.'

Skulduggery hesitated. 'Do…you want me to help?'

Valkyrie grinned. 'Yes please.' He shuffled in front of her and began untying the skates, trying his best not to notice the dark eyes resting on him. He slipped off the ice skates and started buckling Valkyries usual boots around her feet. When he had finished, he was about to start untying his own, when he felt two cold hands wrap around his. Skulduggery looked up at Valkyrie, his gaze locking on hers.

'Valkyrie…'

'Skulduggery.'

'What's-'

'I'm sorry I never noticed. I'm sorry I never realised how hard you've tried to make every moment with each other special. And I am so, so sorry I never realised that you loved…' Valkyrie stopped but kept her eyes fixed onto him. Skulduggery didn't flinch.

'…That I loved you.'

Valkyrie smiled at him. Skulduggery bowed his head slightly, his hat covering his eye sockets. 'It's not your fault.'

Valkyrie leant closer towards him. 'You…love me?'

Skulduggery didn't move. 'Yes.'

Valkyrie cocked her head and put one hand on Skulduggery's cheekbone, making him look at her. 'You really mean that, don't you?' Skulduggery nodded, let his head bow slightly again, and his shoulders started to shake. Valkyrie frowned. 'Skulduggery?' Skulduggery made small gasping sounds. Valkyrie stared at him. 'Are…are you crying?' Skulduggery lifted his head up and looked at Valkyrie, still crying with no tears. 'I…I really, really do love you, Val.' Was all he could stammer out. Valkyrie laughed gently and hugged him, pulling him forward slightly in the snow. 'I love you too, Skulduggery Pleasant.' Skulduggery cried more and pulled her closer.


	5. Skating part 3

Skulduggery cried more and pulled her closer. 'Sorry.' Valkyrie laughed. 'Why are you apologising?'

'For…for, um, crying.'

'If you call that crying.'

Skulduggery laughed and brushed his gloved hands over his skull. 'So my crying is inferior now, is it?'

Valkyrie grinned. 'Lover's tiff number one!'

Skulduggery cocked his head, 'Are…we a couple now?'

Valkyrie smiled. 'If you want to be.'

'God, yes.'

Valkyrie laughed. Skulduggery pulled them both up out of the snow and started to pull on his own shoes. When he finished, Valkyrie helped him up and they both started to walk to the Bentley.

The Bentley made its way up the gravelled drive-way of Valkyrie's inherited mansion from her uncle. Skulduggery parked the car and looked at Valkyrie. 'Bye.' Valkyrie grinned at him and opened the door. She was about to get out, when Skulduggery said, 'Sorry, did…all the stuff at the pond actually happen…or was that a dream?' Valkyrie smiled at him, leant forward, and kissed his cheekbone. 'Convinced now?' Skulduggery nodded. 'I'll pick you up tomorrow…um…darling.' Valkyrie shot him an evil look. 'Never call me that again.' Skulduggery laughed. 'Understood.' Valkyrie slipped out of the Bentley and started to walk towards the door of the mansion. She spun round and said. 'Love you.' Skulduggery looked up at Valkyrie. 'Don't make me cry again.' Valkyrie grinned and let herself into the mansion. Skulduggery looked back at where he last saw her, and drove off to Cemetery Road.


	6. Bye, Bye, fletcher

**Maybe I'm back...**

Valkyrie dialled Fletchers number quickly. When no reply came, she spelled out, 'We need 2 talk.V.' After ten minutes, her phoned beeped. 'Why?' was the reply. She sighed irritably. Her fingers danced across the keypad of her mobile phone. 'I'm at Gordon's.'

After yet another ten minutes, Fletcher Renn appeared next to her. 'What's wrong?' Valkyrie spun round to face him. She took a deep breath and said, 'I… can't do this anymore, Fletch.' Fletcher frowned. 'Can't do what?' Valkyrie hesitated. 'This…you and I-it's gone Fletcher.' Fletcher stepped closer towards her. 'You don't mean that, Val.' He brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. Valkyrie pushed her head away. 'Yes, I do, Fletcher. I'm sorry.' He pulled his hand away. 'What's wrong Val?' He paused, and then his eyes darkened. 'Who is it?' Valkyrie frowned. 'What? No one!'

'Yes there is!' Fletcher snapped. Valkyrie blinked. 'I don't know what you're talking about.'

'Shut up!' Fletcher spat. Valkyrie backed away. 'Stop it, or, I'll…I'll...'

'You'll what?'

'I'll call Skulduggery.' Fletcher laughed. 'And what's he going to do?' He paused, and fixed Valkyrie with an evil stare. 'It's him, isn't it.' Valkyrie's eyes widened. 'What?' Fletcher threw his hands in the air. 'Oh, it's obvious, isn't it? You and him, always together, always-' Valkyrie shook her head. 'Stop it, Fletcher!'

There was a knock on the front door. They both looked at it. Valkyrie ran to the door-but Fletcher was faster. He stood in front of it, 'I wander who that could be?' Valkyrie's face reddened. 'Move, Fletcher!' Someone knocked on the door again, a faint voice called out from behind it, 'Valkyrie? You OK in there?'

Skulduggery.

Fletcher grinned at Valkyrie. 'Well, why is _he_ here I wander?' Valkyrie's breathing quickened, clearly frightened. 'Skulduggery!' She called. Skulduggery rapped on the door. 'Val, what's going on?' Fletcher swore loudly at Skulduggery. Skulduggery sounded angry. 'Fletcher, I swear, if you've hurt Val-'

'SHUT UP, DEAD MAN!' Fletcher yelled. Valkyrie tried to open the door again, but he grabbed her wrists painfully. Valkyrie was so terrified she couldn't scream anymore. 'Skulduggery,' she stammered, 'I'm…so scared…' Skulduggery roared and threw himself at the door, throwing it open. Fletcher was thrown forwards as Skulduggery stepped through the threshold.

Fletcher laughed. 'Well done Val, your knight in shining armour is here to save the day.' Skulduggery stepped towards him. 'Get. Out. Now.' Fletcher shook his head. 'You think you know it all, dead guy, but-'Skulduggery snarled. 'I said. Get out.' Fletcher grinned, and turned to Valkyrie. 'Bye-bye Val, you've got your skeleton, hope your jumping for joy.' Valkyrie didn't flinch. Fletcher laughed, and disappeared, leaving them alone.

Valkyrie sighed and leaned against the wall, out of breath from worry. Skulduggery walked cautiously towards her. 'Are you alright?' Valkyrie nodded, not quite convincing herself. He faced her. 'Are…did he hurt you?' Valkyrie hesitated. 'He hurt my wrists, but nothing else.' Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie's wrists, red circles and white nail prints across them. Skulduggery looked back up at her. 'I'll kill him.'

Valkyrie shook her head. 'No, just stay here for a bit…' Skulduggery nodded, his gaze fixed onto her. 'I'll stay for as long as you need me, Valkyrie.' Valkyrie nodded, and burst into tears. Skulduggery stepped back, surprised, but then hugged her. Valkyrie sobbed into his jacket, 'I hate him. I hate him. I hate him-' Skulduggery sighed. 'Sh, it's okay; I'm here, your skeletons here.' Valkyrie smiled through her tears. 'You've really got a grudge against my door.'

Skulduggery laughed, still hugging her. 'It always seems to be in the way when you're in trouble.' Valkyrie looked up at him. 'I'm sorry.' Skulduggery looked at her. 'Don't even begin to think that it was your fault.' Valkyrie cried harder. 'You're always so damn nice to me!' Skulduggery stroked her back. 'Sorry.' Valkyrie laughed tearfully. 'I've ruined your suit now.' Skulduggery sighed. 'It doesn't matter. As long as you're safe.' There was a long pause, and then Valkyrie sniffed, 'It looks like you're the only person I can rely on.' He sighed. 'Lucky you.' Valkyrie smiled, 'You're the only person I want in my life right now.' Skulduggery stiffened and looked down at her. 'What did you say?' But Valkyrie said nothing more.


	7. Dancing

**Review ;D**

Skulduggery's main living-room was dusty and pierced with sun beams. Valkyrie leaned against the fireplace, whilst the owner of the house was calmly reading the newspaper in an antique armchair. Valkyrie scanned through her phone for new text messages from her boyfriend, Fletcher Renn. She had recently asked him to go on a date to a dance with her.

She looked up from her phone. 'Dammit.'

Skulduggery looked up at her from behind his newspaper. 'What?'

'I've just realised a flaw in my whole date thing with Fletcher. '

'Oh?'

'I can't dance.'

Skulduggery laughed. 'I see your problem.' She sighed and put her phone away.

'Can...Um...can you teach me?'

Skulduggery hesitated. 'We have no music...' Valkyrie paused, and then rushed upstairs to find her old laptop that she kept in his house. When she found it, she brought it back down and plugged it into a spare socket. She turned back to Skulduggery.

'Well?' Skulduggery folded up his newspaper and dropped it onto a nearby table. He stood up and walked over to her, hands in his pockets. Valkyrie looked at him and gestured to her computer.

'Choose a song.'

Skulduggery hunched over the laptop, and quickly chose a song. 'Dead man walking' floated through its speakers.

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. '_That_ song?'

Skulduggery cocked his head. 'It's sounds like they're singing about me.'

She shook her head at him. 'Your ego is ridiculous.' Skulduggery laughed and put his hand on Valkyries waist.

'Can you hold up your right hand please?' Valkyrie raised an eyebrow, but obliged. He took her hand in his.

Valkyrie cocked her head. 'This looks too old-fashioned.' Skulduggery shrugged.

'I'm over 100 years old, what kind of dancing would I choose?' Valkyrie rolled her eyes, but put her free hand on his shoulder.

Skulduggery gently led them both round in a circle, murmuring the lyrics.' I'm a breathing, talking, dead man, walking.'

Valkyrie laughed at him. 'Okay, I see what you mean about the song.' Skulduggery grunted good-naturedly.

'Well, why _wouldn't_ someone write a song about me?'

'But it's not about you.'

'Then what is it about?'

Valkyrie blushed. '...you know, about a man who still loves this woman, even though she doesn't love him...'

An awkward silence filled the room, only the chorus of the song sang out.

Skulduggery eventually nodded quickly. 'I prefer my version better.'

Valkyrie grinned. 'Me too.'

Skulduggery twirled Valkyrie around at the final chorus, making her laughed quietly. After the song finished, they stood still, holding on to each other, until Skulduggery coughed loudly and dug his hands into his pockets, looking at his shoes. Valkyrie blushed again and stepped back.

'That wasn't dancing.'

Skulduggery looked up at her.' How rude.'

Valkyrie grinned and selected a new song. 'Cops and Robbers' started playing. Skulduggery groaned.

'Why, Valkyrie?'

She laughed 'its sounds like they're singing about _us_.'

Skulduggery cocked his skull, listening to the lyrics, "_if we catch a criminal, when we catch a criminal, there's nothing we can do, but play cops and robbers, cops and robbers._" Skulduggery shrugged.

'I suppose so...'

'And we are wasting valuable dancing time.'

She started sashaying her shoulders, clicking her fingers. Skulduggery looked at her, not quite getting it. Valkyrie laughed and pick up his arm and holding it high above her head, twirling around it. Skulduggery stood awkwardly. Valkyrie laughed and let go of his arm, clicking her fingers whilst circling him. When she ended up back In front of him, she started shimmying towards him. Skulduggery stepped back, alarmed. Valkyrie grinned nodded at him. He hesitated, and then did the same, following her movement. Valkyrie nodded again approvingly.

'Yeah, like that.'

'This is all very complicated.'

Valkyrie sighed. 'You just go with the music.'

'Right. Yes.'

When the chorus arrived, Valkyrie made a gun out of her hands, pretending to shoot Skulduggery, whilst he mirrored her. Eventually Skulduggery was moving in time with Valkyrie, clicking his gloved fingers, but accidently created a fire in his hands.

'Oops.' He said, and quickly extinguished it. Valkyrie burst out laughing. She stood in front of him, and turned the top half of her body to the side, her head turning to him, and then switching to look over her other shoulder. He mirrored her, then took one of her hands and spun her round. She grinned at him.

'You're starting to get this, aren't you?'

'Indeed.'

The final chorus filled the room, as Skulduggery lifted Valkyrie high into the air, spinning her round. She squealed and laughed in delight. He put her down gently as the music came to a stop. Valkyrie breathed deeply, smiling.

'_That_ is dancing.'

Skulduggery laughed. 'You're a little out of breath. 'As he pulled her into a hug, Valkyrie smiled.

'Thanks for teaching me.'

'Thank _you_ for teaching _me_.'

Skulduggery patted her back as they parted. Valkyrie nodded at him. 'Well, you needed teaching.'

He cocked his head. 'Well, yes, but…'

'You had no idea.'

'No, but…'

'Not a clue.'

'You're welcome, Valkyrie.'

Valkyrie laughed. 'Now I know how to dance, I better get ready.'

'I'll take you home.'

Valkyrie shook her head. 'No, it's okay; I'll walk part of the way, and then get Fletcher to drop me off at my house.'

Skulduggery nodded. 'Have a nice time.'

She smiled. 'I'll try. See you tomorrow, yeah?' She waved her fingers, and left, shutting the front door behind her. Skulduggery looked back at where he last saw her and leaned against the wall. He ran his hands across the front of his skull.

'Stupid. Stupid, _stupid_ skeleton,' He said quietly, 'You. Mustn't. Love .Her.' He let his head droop and put his hands in his pockets. 'But you _do_ love her. You had to go and fall in love with her, didn't you.'


	8. Dancing part 2

One hour later, Skulduggery's door opened and then slammed shut heavily. Skulduggery looked up from his shoes.

'Valkyrie?' He heard her run upstairs. Skulduggery followed her cautiously, to find her sprawled on his sofa, her head in a pillow. Skulduggery walked slowly towards her.

'V…Valkyrie?'

Valkyrie sat up quickly, wiping her eyes. She smiled bravely at him.

'Hi.'

Skulduggery cocked his head and leaned against the wall. 'What is it?'

Valkyrie looked away from him, her smile fixed. 'I'm fine.'

He folded his arms.

'Now there's a lie right there.'

Valkyrie's smile dropped. 'I'm fine!'

Skulduggery hesitated. 'I did have a daughter once. I know when a teenager's upset.'

Valkyries eyes dipped. 'I'm sorry.'

He nodded and sat down next to her. 'It's Fletcher, isn't it?'

Valkyrie looked at him, and then nodded sadly. 'He…um…told me that he cheated.' Skulduggery sighed.

'Oh, Val!' He pulled her into a hug, letting her sob into his shoulder.

'I…He just stood there…he didn't even care how I felt…'

Skulduggery rocked her gently. 'Sh, he doesn't matter anymore. You don't need him,' he soothed.

Valkyrie parted from him, smiling sadly. Skulduggery paused, not sure what to do.

'Would…you like some tea?'

Valkyrie laughed tearfully. 'You don't have a kettle!'

'I could go and buy one.'

She shook her head. 'I have a bottle of water in my bag…' Skulduggery patted her back, and jogged downstairs to find her bag. When he found it, he unzipped it and started hunting around for the water bottle. He found it, and was just about to zip the bag back up, when his gaze met on something. Valkyries notebook was open, and inside was a drawn picture, of himself. He glanced back up the stairs, and when satisfied that Valkyrie was staying put, he pulled the notebook out.

_I could never tell him, but I adore him more than he realises. I love his voice, his humour, his style, his ego. I love him, love him, love him. Love you, Skulduggery._

Skulduggery tore his gaze away from it, and stuffed the notebook back into her bag. He backed away from it, shaking his head.

'Skulduggery?'

Skulduggery darted back upstairs, water bottle in hand. He arrived back by Valkyries side, handing her the bottle.

'Thanks.'

Skulduggery nodded. Valkyrie frowned slightly.

'Are you okay?'

Skulduggery shook his skull. 'No, Valkyrie, I'm not okay. You know why? Because I've just found out that the person I love, loves me back, and what can I do? Wait? Wait for you to-'

Valkyries eyes widened. 'Me?'

Skulduggery leaned against the wall. 'Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.' He said quietly.

Valkyrie walked up to him. 'You…love me?'

Skulduggery turned his gaze slightly towards her.

'Yes, Valkyrie. Yes I do love you.' Valkyrie put her hands on his shoulders.

'Skulduggery, I love-'

And that's when Billy-Ray Sanguine burrowed up between them.

'Wow, I sure hope I haven't come between a touching moment or anything, dead man.'

Valkyrie stepped back, whilst Skulduggery folded his arms. 'Sanguine.'

'Pleasant.'

'How the hell did you manage to burrow through a second floor?'

Sanguine laughed. 'It's a new trick, skull-face. I jus' climbed on to your furniture so I could touch yo' ceiling, jump, and hope for the best.'

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. 'So you could have died if it didn't work?'

Sanguine spun round and grinned at her. 'Indeed I could have, li'l lady.'

'Chance would be a fine thing.'

'Now, there's no need for that, darling.'

Skulduggery stepped between them. 'What do you want?'

'I jus' came back to take what's mine,' He turned back to Valkyrie, 'my straight razor, darling.'

Valkyrie laughed. 'Like I would give it back to a murderer!'

Sanguine stepped closer, his mouth fixed into a sneer. Skulduggery quickly reacted.

'William-Raymond Sanguine!'

Sanguine grinned at the skeleton. 'Now no one's called me that for a long time, 'cept for my old mum, but I think I murdered her so…'

'Get out.'

'As soon as your lover gives me the razor.'

Skulduggery sighed and turned to Valkyrie. 'Give me the razor.'

She frowned, but did as she was told. Skulduggery walked over to a window, opened it and threw it outside, displacing the air to make it travel faster.

'Fetch.'

Sanguine dashed towards the window. 'Now that's hardly fair!'

Skulduggery leaned towards him, pulling out his own revolver. 'Yes it is. Now please go away.'

'Fine, I'm going, leaving you two alone…'

He burrowed down through the floor, and then burrowed through the earth at the ground floor.

Skulduggery put his gun away and turned to Valkyrie, leaning against the window. 'So, what were you saying?'

Valkyrie rushed over to Skulduggery and hugged him, wrapping her legs around him. 'I love you! I love, love, _love you_, Skulduggery Pleasant!'

Skulduggery laughed and hugged her back. Then he stopped and put her down. She frowned.

'What's wrong?'

He hesitated. 'Valkyrie, I could…I could never kiss you.'

Valkyrie grinned. 'Is that so?' She pulled on his tie and kissed his teeth, Skulduggery seemed surprised, but did his very best to kiss her back. When they parted, He nodded, slightly dazed.

'Okay. Yep. That's not a problem anymore.'

Valkyrie laughed, and hugged him again.


	9. Valentines Day

**Happy Valentines Day.**

* * *

Life is short.

That's what everyone told him when he was young, but they weren't really expecting him to become a 400 year old skeleton so he took no notice at that quote.

Until now.

Skulduggery Pleasant stared at the calendar, 14th February, tomorrow, hoping it would give him some sort of answer of what he should do.

After ten minutes of staring at it, he sighed and scratched the back of his skull_. What the hell do people do on Valentine's Day? More to the point, what do people do if they love someone and they're not sure if they love them back? Even more to the point, what do you do if they are 19 years old, and you are a skeleton? _He slumped in front of his desk, staring down at the blank lined paper on it.

Skulduggery tapped the pen he was holding on to his desk, his mind blank. He started writing his investigation report, focusing himself on the job he was meant to be doing, whilst he let his mind wander back to his dilemma. Valkyrie Cain, his best friend, partner in crime. The one person he was totally and utterly in love with.

And he had no way to tell her how he felt.

He looked down at his piece of paper. On it were multiples of the name 'Valkyrie Pleasant' with dozens of tiny hearts around each one. Skulduggery snarled at it and scrunched up the paper, throwing it behind him. He buried the front of his skull in his hands, sighing. He pulled out a new piece of paper, hesitated, and started to write, pouring out every emotion he possessed within him on to it. When he filled up the paper entirely he dropped the pen on to his desk and leaned back in his chair.

And then there was a knock on the door.

Skulduggery bolted out of his chair, stuffing the piece of paper into his pocket, before dashing to the corridor to answer it. Valkyrie Cain grinned at him when he opened it, walking past him.

'Sorry I'm late, Tanith took ages to get herself together so we could actually do some practising, and then she couldn't find her damn lip-gloss and I was saying to her, "Tanith, you don't need it," and she was all " Ooh, but I'm seeing Ghastly after this, blah blah, blah," and I was saying, "for god's sake, we're going to do some fighting soon, like it matters."'

Skulduggery laughed quietly at her petty dilemmas to himself, then followed her to his main living-room, and then stopped in his tracks.

The scrunched-up piece of paper was still on the floor, right by Valkyries foot.

Damn.

Skulduggery tried his best to walk casually in front of her, kicking the paper under the sofa she was sitting on. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow.

'Do you want me to put that in the bin for you?'

Skulduggery unconsciously stuck his hand out towards it. 'No!'

Valkyrie frowned and stood up. Skulduggery coughed, glad that he couldn't blush.

'It's okay, I'll do it.'

He walked sheepishly towards it and picked it up. He was about to drop it in the bin, when Valkyrie tried to grab it from him.

'I want to see what it is!'

Skulduggery gasped, 'No! You mustn't see that!'

'And why's that?'

Skulduggery hesitated. Valkyrie laughed and grabbed it off him, smoothing out the paper.

'No, Valkyrie! Please, give it back now!'

'I just want to read it…'

'Don't! You can't read that, you just…can't!'

But Valkyrie had already opened the paper up enough to read it. Skulduggery stared at her, refusing to believe what was happening. Her grin fell when she read the doodles coated across it.

'What…'

Skulduggery shook his head, mortified. 'Valkyrie…'

'What…why is my name on this…' She scanned the paper, 'But…what's with your last name…'

Skulduggery stepped forward. 'I think you should go.'

Valkyrie nodded slowly, and started for the door. He spun round towards her.

'Before you go…can you, um, have this.'

Skulduggery pulled out the folded piece of paper from his breast pocket.

'…Can you read it tomorrow please?'

Valkyrie took it, confused. She quickly walked out of the room, closing the front door behind her. Skulduggery let his head droop, leaning against his fireplace once again.

Valkyrie stared back at the door, and then let her eyes fall back down on the two pieces of paper she held. _Why did he want me to read this on Valentine's Day?_ She raised her hand to knock on the door.

'Skulduggery?'

Skulduggery ignored her. He pulled his hat off and placed it on the desk, whilst he sat in front of it.

'Skulduggery?'

He buried the front of his skull in his hands once again.

'Skulduggery, please, open the door.'

He was confused at himself. Was he crying? He had no tears, but he felt the same way he did when he used to cry as a living human, gasping for 'breath', shoulders shaking.

'Skulduggery, please!'

He let his head rest in his arms on the desk, sobbing.

'Please, just let me in.'

Skulduggery sighed, and meditated.

Valkyrie sighed, and went home.

February 14th. Valkyrie couldn't sleep that night, quilted with guilt and confusion. She turned to the folded piece of paper, waiting for herself to open it. She dressed quickly in her school uniform in the morning and then summoned her reflection, handing it her school jumper. After pulling off her uniform, Valkyrie dressed in her usual black attire, waved goodbye to her reflection, grabbed the piece of paper, and jumped out of the window.

Skulduggery groaned loudly as he woke up and held the back of his neck. _Not a clever place to sleep._ He stretched his non-existent muscles and shuffled towards his wardrobe upstairs. As he changed into a new suit and tie, he tried his best not to remember what happened yesterday, the embarrassment, the shame.

The truth.

Valkyrie walked across the park and leaned against a blossom tree. She looked down at the piece of paper, hesitated, and unfolded it. Skulduggery's hand-writing crossed each line of the paper;

_Darling Valkyrie,_

_Okay, I can almost see the confusion in your eyes as you read this, but its Valentine's Day, it's been too long since I said something like this, so I'm going to say it, or rather write it, because if I don't today, I don't think I'll ever bring myself to._

_Valkyrie Cain, Stephanie Edgley, you need to know that I cannot be without you any longer. Every time you go home, I feel everything leaving me, every part of me aches, and I am absolutely terrified every time we go into a fight with some murderer, because I keep thinking that this could be the last time I see you, but when I see you again, I can't bring myself to say how I really feel, because that would be the biggest battle that I will ever loose._

_I feel like I should really explain myself to you, but it's so hard for me to do this, because the last time I did, I lost everything, and I don't want that to happen again. Not ever. But I have to, so…_

_Valkyrie Cain, I know this sounds odd, but I am completely in love with you. I don't know how else to say it, because no other words seem to match what I am trying to tell you. To me, your perfect-ness shines through every day and I can forget my past for however long you care to stay, even if it is for only a minute or two. _

_Maybe I shouldn't be telling you this, because I might just have scared you away forever, you might leave magic behind, you might leave me behind, which I understand if you decide to, but just know this, I will not forget my best friend, partner in crime, and the one person I adore more than anything in the world, because if you die in battle, or leave magic behind, my world would be an empty shell. I would always care for you, no matter where you are._

_I have nothing else to say now, but to tell you that I adore you and I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do._

_With the love that I may never be able to say,_

_Skulduggery Pleasant._

Valkyrie wiped a stray tear from her eye and hugged the letter against her chest. She hated herself for never realising him, his subtle hints, his adoration towards her. Then her eyes flickered upwards, smiling to herself.

_Leave you behind? Like I would make things easy for you._

She broke into a run, faster and faster she approached towards her destination. By the time she got to Cemetery Road, her legs were burning and her eyes were watering, but her adrenaline kept her energised. She rapped on his door, refusing to brush the smile off her face.

Skulduggery stood up and walked slowly to the door, dreading this moment, when Valkyrie would shout at him for being so horrific, or be in tears and leave him forever. He opened it hesitantly and leaned against the door pane when he saw Valkyrie. He nodded at her, head drooping slightly.

'Say what you have to say.'

Valkyrie grinned at him and pulled him into a hug. Skulduggery was lucky that he was leaning against the door pane; otherwise he would have fallen over. Valkyrie laughed.

'Skulduggery Pleasant, you romantic sausage!'

'Um…thank you.'

'Like I would leave you! I'm staying right here, forever.'

Skulduggery parted from her, hands on her shoulders. 'So…you feel the same?'

She smiled up at him. 'Yes, Skulduggery, yes I do.'

She hugged him again, whist he laughed in relief. 'God, I thought this was going to be really awkward.'

Valkyrie smiled, but said nothing else.


	10. Engagment?

**Inspiration from Lady-Alyss.**

* * *

The dawn light stumbled, confused, through the windows of Skulduggery Pleasant's house. Valkyrie groaned in the chair she was sleeping in and opened one lazy eye. _What was she doing, sleeping in Skulduggery's 'meditating' chair?_ She sat up slowly, her head complaining at her every movement. She rubbed both of her eyes and wandered out towards the corridor.

'Skulduggery?'

She managed to hear a faint moan in reply.

Valkyrie followed to where it came from to find Skulduggery on the floor, leaning against the sofa, fast asleep.

She sighed, walked up to him and shook his shoulder.

'Skul.'

Groan.

'Skulduggery, wake up.'

Groan.

'Skulduggery!'

Skulduggery's skull snapped up to meet the gaze of Valkyries, and then he groaned again and held his head.

'Wha-?'

'Why am I here?'

Skulduggery nodded slowly.

'Yeah, just, just give me a minute...'

Valkyrie snarled and threw a cushion from the sofa onto his head. He grabbed it lazily and threw it back onto the sofa. He put his hands back onto his skull.

'Where's my hat?'

Valkyrie shrugged, and then her eyes met on the window which looked out towards the front garden. Skulduggery cocked his head at her.

'What?'

She nodded at the window. He followed her gaze, to see his hat stuck in a tree. He stood up slowly, his gaze fixed onto it.

'How did it get there!'

He looked back at Valkyrie.

'Did you put it there?'

She raised her hands in surrender. 'Whoa, I've just woken up; it's too early for false accusations.'

Skulduggery rubbed his hands across where his eyes should have been.

'This feels just like a hangover...'

They both looked at each other. Valkyrie shook her head.

'We didn't get drunk did we?'

He hesitated. 'It...Certainly feels like we did...'

She let her head drop back.

'Why would you let me do something like that? And you can't even get drunk!'

'Yes I can, somehow...the important thing is that we didn't do anything stupid.'

She nodded and looked down at her hands. And then her eyes widened.

'Skul...'

'Hmm?'

'If we didn't do anything stupid...then why am I wearing a ring that I have never seen before...where my wedding ring would be?'

His head snapped up at her.

'What!'

She held up her left hand to show him. He stepped back when he saw it. She swallowed.

'I think we are now engaged, Skul.'

He paused.

'Bloody hell, Valkyrie.'

'I'm sure it's fine, I mean, it's not like it's a real engagement ring or anything.'

Skulduggery leaned forward to take a closer look at it, and then pointed at it.

'That...'

She looked down at her hand.

'What?'

'That's...my wife's engagement ring.'

'...You're joking, right?'

'No.'

Valkyrie quickly slipped it off her finger and handed it to him.

'You...can have this back.'

He took it from her and nodded.

'Right.'

Skulduggery put it carefully on a table and then returned hid gaze to her. They stood awkwardly for a minute, and then Skulduggery said quietly,

'I…need to get my hat,' and walked quickly out of the room.


	11. Piano player

Gordon's mansion still held undiscovered secrets for Valkyrie Cain. Even when she thought that she had uncovered every nook and cranny, it always surprised her, as she realised when her eye fell on an unopened door at the top of the stairs. She frowned and worked her way up the staircase. When she reached the top, she cautiously put one hand on the handle, pushed down, and then smiled at what she found inside.

A large well-lit room opened up before her. Red and gold oriental wallpaper lined the walls, large windows let in the lazy sun-rays of Ireland. On the sleek wooden floor sat a leather sofa, a harp, a stereo, and a beautiful black grand piano.

Valkyrie back out of the room and leaned over the banister.

'Skulduggery?'

Skulduggery Pleasant snapped shut the book he was reading, walked towards the hallway and looked up at Valkyrie.

'Yes?'

'Come here!' Valkyrie called back and dashed back into the room again. Skulduggery walked up the staircase and entered the threshold of the room she was in. She grinned at him and casually strummed her hand over the harps strings. He leaned against the door pane.

'A music room.'

'Yeah.'

Skulduggery walked into the centre of the room, hands in his pockets. Valkyrie glanced at the piano and played a note. She looked back up at him.

'Can you play?'

Skulduggery nodded.

'It's been a long time since I last put a chord together, but yes, yes I can.'

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. 'I knew it.'

'How?'

She pointed at his hand. 'You have pianist fingers.'

He pulled a hand out of his pocket and inspected his fingers. 'Meaning?'

Valkyrie smiled at him. 'Long and thin,' she stepped closer towards him, 'I mean, I've never seen you without your gloves on, but your fingers look perfect, defined…' Valkyrie realised what she was saying and stopped abruptly, her head drooping. Skulduggery jabbed his hand back in his pocket and coughed loudly to break the silence.

'The last time I played piano was when I was alive, a long time ago.'

She looked up at him. '_Please_ play something.'

'I would have forgotten how to.'

'Please?'

'No, it's getting late anyway, I should be getting back.'

Valkyrie hesitated. 'Well…you can stay here tonight…'

Skulduggery stepped back slightly. 'I'm sorry?'

'You could stay here tonight…there's a spare room…' she swallowed and looked at the floor, 'but you don't have to.'

'Okay.'

Valkyrie looked up at him. 'Really?'

'Yes, well, it would be easier for me, and I have a spare suit in my car.'

She smiled at him and then looked down at her hands.

He nodded awkwardly at her.

Then they both spoke at the same time;

'I better get your room ready.'

-'I should get my other suit.'

They both laughed nervously and looked at the floor. Skulduggery walked quickly out of the room in the direction of the Bentley, whilst Valkyrie wandered off towards the spare room.

When Skulduggery returned from the Bentley holding the spare suit, he found Valkyrie standing in a white spare room.

'Why do you keep and extra suit with you anyway?'

He shrugged and dropped it onto a chair. 'You never know.'

Valkyrie smiled at him. 'I'll see you in the morning, yeah?'

Skulduggery nodded at her. 'Night.'

'Happy meditating.'

She walked out quickly to her room.

Skulduggery sat up on the bed and stretched his non-existent muscles. He glanced at his pocket watch on the side of the bed. Half past six. Joy. He sighed, dressed quickly and walked across the landing out of the bedroom. His gaze fixed onto the piano in the music room. He hesitated, and then walked over to it. He played a note and then took his gloves of. _Pianist fingers_. He chuckled quietly and rested one hand on the pianos keys, and then started to play. His fingers drifted across the keys quickly but gently. 'So, I can still play.' He thought to himself, as he worked his way through the song.

Valkyrie sat up and frowned from her bed. _Is that a piano_? She pulled on her coat over her pyjamas and walked towards the music room. She leaned against the door pane, arms folded, a smile creeping across her face at the sight of Skulduggery playing wonderfully on the piano. He carried on playing, seemingly unaware of the audience, until he said, 'You're in awe of me.'

Valkyrie walked closer towards him and leaned against the piano.

'You play beautifully.'

Skulduggery was thankful that he couldn't blush and nodded at the piano.

'Thank you.'

Valkyrie leaned over him, looking at the keys he was playing. She smiled again.

'You're not wearing your gloves.'

He nodded quickly at the gloves on the top of the piano, before returning to looking at the notes he was playing.

'They keep slipping off if you try and play the piano with them on.'

She pulled back from the piano and looked behind it, noticing a large box containing sheet music. Valkyrie rooted around until she found a song she liked. She picked it up and stood it in front of Skulduggery.

'Play please.'

Skulduggery stopped playing and looked up at the sheet music of 'My Immortal.' He examined the first notes and started to play. Valkyrie sighed at him.

'That is so beautiful.'

Skulduggery nodded. 'It is, isn't it?'

He rested both hands and started to play the chorus, as Valkyrie wandered around the room, murmuring the lyrics to herself, 'When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears, When you scream, I'd fight away all of your fears, and I held your hand through all of these years, but you still have…' She paused, sat down on the sofa and looked at Skulduggery, '…all of me.' She closed her eyes and listened to the music playing. Skulduggery turned his skull slightly towards her.

'Are you OK?'

Valkyrie smiled at him and leaned back on the sofa, her eyes still heavy from just waking up.

'Perfect, perfect playing…' she managed to say, before letting her eyes close.

Skulduggery paused, and then took his hands off the piano keys. Valkyrie smiled.

'I'm not asleep, you can carry on.'

He nodded, and started playing greensleeves. She tucked one hand under her head.

'Where did you learn to play?'

Skulduggery hesitated. 'I never had any actual lessons, I learnt from my, well, my mother.'

Valkyrie opened her eyes.

'What were you like when you were young?'

Skulduggery laughed. 'I learnt when I was your age, maybe a little older-I had medium-brown hair, green eyes, high cheekbones, broad shoulders and fair skin, with a birth mark on the back of my neck,' he turned the page over and continued playing, 'I remember the first time I did magic…my father was so proud of me. My mother taught me how to play, green sleeves, and then fur Elise afterwards. My father, he…' Skulduggery laughed quietly, 'He told me I should be out practising magic, not jabbing keys on a piano. I told him that I could manage both. And I did.'

Valkyrie smiled at him wanting to hear more.

'Tell me about your school.'

Skulduggery stopped playing, and started playing 'Breathe No More.'

'My secondary school was on the coast of Ireland, I went there like any normal boy, with friends. My best friend was, of course, Ghastly, and then a boy called Walter Flame-Chaser. My first um…' He coughed, 'My first girl-friend was a girl called Elizabeth. Elizabeth Heartbeat. She was…well…just like you, really.'

Valkyrie sat up slowly, her fixed on him. 'What?'

'She was…she was kind, charming, clever, witty, annoying,' Valkyrie laughed quietly. 'And…beautiful.'

Valkyrie blinked and sighed, as Skulduggery carried on.

'She had an amazing smile, she would laugh at everything I said, and roll her eyes when I said something about my ego. Elizabeth and I would walk across the pier at night; watch the tide go in and out, for as long as we pleased.'

Valkyrie smiled at him. 'Just…like me?'

Skulduggery nodded. 'Yes…she was my first girlfriend…and my last.'

'You married her?'

'I did. 28th September, 1929, when Elizabeth Heartbeat became Elizabeth Pleasant. _My _Elizabeth. The only person I ever loved apart from y-' Skulduggery stopped himself quickly.

Valkyrie frowned slightly. 'She was just like me…charming, clever, witty, annoying…beautiful.' She looked back at him. 'You think I'm all of those things?'

He finished the song he was playing, and closed the piano lid, trying not to answer Valkyries question.

'Well, I…I don't quite know what you mean.'

Valkyrie stood up and walked slowly towards the piano. 'Yes you do, Skulduggery.'

He cleared his non-existent throat. 'Do I?'

'.Do.'

Skulduggery stayed silent and nodded. 'Yes I do, but I don't know what to say.'

'It's a yes-no answer.'

He stood up slowly and took a step closer towards Valkyrie. 'Yes.'

Her eyes widened. 'Sorry?'

'Yes, I do think that you are all of those things, Valkyrie Cain.'

Valkyrie smiled gently. 'Thank…thank you.'

Skulduggery straightened his tie and coughed. 'Indeed.'

She swallowed. 'I…better… get…ready…'

He nodded and stepped back to let her pass. Valkyrie walked to her room and, when she was out of sight from him, skipped down the corridor to her door. When she got to her room, she shut the door and grinned to herself. _He thinks I'm beautiful_, she said to herself, pulling open her wardrobe. She longed to look her best in front of Skulduggery, just for today. She pulled off her pyjama top and threw it on her bed, wandering what to wear.

Skulduggery leaned against the wall of the music room. What was taking her so long? He walked slowly towards Valkyrie's bedroom door, knocking on it.

'Valkyrie?'

'Mm?'

'Are…you alright?'

'….'

'Val?'

Silence.

'Are you OK?'

Silence.

He hesitated, and put his hand on the handle. 'I'm going to come in now…'

Silence.

'Okay…three…two…'

'No! Don't come in!'

But Skulduggery opened the door to a red-faced Valkyrie holding a top to herself. He stopped dead (lol) and shook his skull.

'I…'

'Go away!'

'I'm…going to go away now…' He quickly closed the door. Valkyrie buried her face in the top she was holding. _Why me?_ She switched off the curlers she had used and finished getting dressed. After brushing on some foundation and some mascara, she swallowed and worked her way downstairs. Skulduggery was sitting on a chair in the hall, his elbows rested on the coffee table before him, making the top half of him slump forward. It was obvious that he was thinking, and that he was embarrassed. Valkyrie could tell easily.

'Skul?'

Skulduggery quickly sat up properly and opened the book that was on the table, not registering that it was upside-down. Valkyrie smiled at him, his back to her. She walked up to him and calmly turned the book round in his hands. He looked up at her and stared.

Valkyries dark hair was curled at the ends, her make-up was subtle but defined, lip-gloss sparkling in the light. Underneath her usual dark coat was a turquoise faded jersey, a black faded embroided necklace lined her neck underneath her real necklace of silver, with an intricate 'S' on the end. Her dark jeans had a thin silver chain running across one of her pockets, her usual boots a deep black.

Skulduggery carried on staring at her. She grinned.

'Forgotten how to read?'

'Valkyrie…you look…'

'Horrific?'

'Beautiful.'

She blushed, her hands slipping behind her back.

'Thank you.'

He shook his head at her, putting the book down.

'And I'm not just saying that, I really do mean it.'

'Well, after you burst in on me…' Skulduggery buried his face in his hands.

'Sorry, sorry.'

'…I thought I might actually look nice to show you…that…' She looked straight at him, '…that even though your wife's gone; it doesn't mean that no one cares about you.'

He cocked his head slightly, his gaze on her. 'I understand that.'

'And also,' She smiled again, 'I wanted to prove to myself that what you said was true.'

Skulduggery stood up. 'You didn't need to do that.'

'Meaning?'

He hesitated. 'I…think you're…just…how...are…yeah…'

Valkyrie frowned. 'I didn't catch a word of that.'

'I think you're perfect the way you are!' Skulduggery blurted, and then looked at the floor.

She raised her eyebrows at him, and put two hands on his chinbone, making his skull lift up at her.

'Really?'

'Yeah.'

'Well,' she put her hands around his neck.

'The feelings mutual,' she whispered to him.


	12. Blind part 1

'Why can't you understand that that's how I do things?'

'What, by flirting to every man you see?'

'Oh, shut up, like you would understand anyway!'

'Yeah, because I'm just not good enough for anyone, am I?'

'That is not what I meant, Skulduggery!'

'Yes it is, China!'

Valkyrie sighed to herself, listening to their argument through the wall. China and Skulduggery had been partners for three months, and this wasn't the first argument they've had. It always seems to be about the same thing-China flirting with other men, and Skulduggery not taking it well.

Chinas living-room door burst open, making Valkyrie jump. Skulduggery stalked out of the room, angry. Valkyrie knew when he was angry. China followed him, looking perfect as always, but her face looked tired.

'Fine! Go!' She screamed after him, turned, and slammed the door behind her.

Valkyrie followed Skulduggery to the Bentley, silence quilting them both. When they both got in, he rested his elbows on the wheel, his hands covering where his face would be. Valkyrie patted his back comfortingly.

'Bad day?'

He sighed and nodded.

'China...kissed Billy-Ray.'

Valkyrie raised her eyebrows.

'Sanguine?'

'I know, I know.'

'I bet you ripped him apart.'

He smirked. 'I shot him a couple of times.'

She smiled reassuringly at him. 'Well, let's get you home, in the warm, and have a nice sit-down.'

Skulduggery laughed gently through his fingers.

'You sound just like my mother.'

'I know...do you want me to drive?'

He drew his hands away from his skull.

'No, no, it's okay.'

He turned the key and put the car in gear. He paused, and then turned to Valkyrie.

'You're a good friend to me, Valkyrie.'

Valkyrie smiled as Skulduggery started to drive.

'Yeah,' She turned to the window, so he couldn't see her face, 'friend.'

The Bentley pulled up in front of 1 Cemetery Road. Skulduggery let them both into his house, shutting the door behind them. Valkyrie took off both her coat and Skulduggery's and hung them up. She guided Skulduggery to the sofa and sat him down. She sat next to him.

'You OK?'

Skulduggery leaned back.

'I'd…be lying if I said yes.'

Valkyrie smiled.

'Someone needs a hug!' She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him; he laughed and hugged her back, before she parted.

'Would you like to talk about it?'

'No thank you, counsellor, I'd like to speak to Valkyrie please.'

Valkyrie grinned and punched his arms playfully.

'China's horrible, she really is, you two are just…'

'Too different?'

She nodded and swallowed.

'Maybe…you could find someone else?'

Skulduggery looked at her.

'Like who?'

She looked down at her hands. Skulduggery sighed.

'I'm better off alone anyway.'

'No you're not!'

Valkyrie realised what she said and bit her lip. Skulduggery shook his head.

'Maybe I am, I'm getting old, I'm not exactly top in the looks department, no one would want…'

Valkyrie stood up quickly.

'Can have the car keys?'

'…Why?'

'I'm hungry; I'm going to the take-away place.'

He nodded slowly and fished the keys out of his pocket.

'Please don't crash.'

Valkyrie smiled at him, and made her way out of the front door.


	13. Blind part 2

'Valkyrie!'

Skulduggery sprinted towards her, grabbing her wrist. She looked up at him.

'Yeah?'

He let go of her wrist, his hand finding his way into his pocket.

'Are you alright?'

Valkyrie sighed and looked into his eye sockets.

'Not really, Skulduggery.'

He cocked his head.

'Why aren't you alright?'

Her eyes drifted to her shoes.

'Because you're not.'

Skulduggery laughed and put a hand on her forearm, making her blush.

'You don't have to worry about me.'

'Well, I do, and I am.'

He smirked and pulled her into a hug.

'Don't tell Ghastly, but...' he turned his skull slightly towards her ear '…I think you're a better friend than him.'

Valkyrie sighed and smiled into his shoulder.

'Meaning?'

'Meaning, that you are the bestest friend that I have ever had.'

She swallowed and dared herself.

'Even more than China?'

He grunted.

'I think we both know where she stands right now.'

'Far away?'

'Nowhere to be seen.' He parted from her, his hands not leaving her shoulders. Valkyrie looked up at him.

'I'm sorry.'

'For what?'

_For falling in love with you._

'I don't know!' Skulduggery laughed and walked them to the Bentley, opening the doors.

'How about I buy dinner for you?'

'What?'

'There's a restaurant not far off, we could go, if you want.'

She smiled up at him.

'You don't even eat!'

He shrugged. 'We both need a break from magic for an evening.'

He guided her into the car, slipping in next to her. He started up the engine and then felt a tap on his shoulder.

'I need to go to Gordon's.'

Skulduggery turned his head slightly towards her.

'Why?'

She smiled at him.

'I can't go to a restaurant looking like this-I need to get changed.'

He smirked, but drove to Gordon's mansion all the same.

Valkyrie scrabbled around her room, trying to find that dress, the lip-gloss that matched, and the dusty old shoes that she never wore. Skulduggery waited patiently downstairs, wandering around the hall.

'I'm ready.'

Skulduggery looked up at the staircase at Valkyrie.

Her deep, halter-neck, olive green dress ended just below her knees, her little black high heels embellished with white diamonds across the front of them. Her dark hair was curled at the ends, making it bounce on her shoulders. Her make-up was gentle, her silver necklace across her shoulder blades.

Skulduggery stared. Valkyrie grinned and made her way downstairs towards him.

'Are we ready to go?'

'God, you're gorgeous.'

'Sorry?'

He coughed loudly and dug his hands in his pockets.

'Right. Yeah.'

He turned and made for the door, trying to ignore the utter beauty following him.

The Bentley pulled into a parking slot. Skulduggery opened his door, and then opened Valkyrie's, with a click of his shoes.

'Ma'am.'

Valkyrie turned up her nose, exiting the car.

'Thank you, peasant.'

Skulduggery laughed and closed the car door with a click of a button. He linked arms with her and walked them towards the building in front of them. Valkyrie frowned at him.

'Don't you need you're façade on?' Skulduggery shook his head.

'It's a restaurant for mages-they know me well.'

Valkyrie nodded and looked at her and Skulduggery's arms, locked onto each other. She blushed.

'People will think that we're together or something.'

'Well, that's not necessarily a bad thing.'

She stared at him, her heart pounding.

'Why?'

He looked into her eyes, still walking.

'Because you look…really, really stunning.'

Valkyrie couldn't help the smile creep across her lips. She looked straight ahead.

'Thank you.'


	14. Blind part 3

The restaurant was pretty busy, the walls a deep ebony, the floors matching. Large, intricate paintings lined the walls, one above each table. A man in his 60's was singing Frank Sinatra's 'Strangers in the night' on a stage, to Skulduggery's happiness.

A waiter who looked like a cross between a penguin and a weasel, scuttled up to them.

'Good Evening, Mr Pleasant. Would you and your partner like a table?' He directed them to an empty two-seated table by the window, a long glass vase held a white lily on it. The waiter bowed gingerly, and slithered towards the next couple waiting to be seated.

Skulduggery pulled one of the chairs back for Valkyrie.

'You're chair, miss.'

Valkyrie laughed and sat down, as Skulduggery sat on the chair opposite her. A woman with dark hair tied up in a messy bun walked up to them holding a notebook and pen.

'Any drinks?'

Valkyrie barely had time to even glance at the drinks menu, so she said a quick, 'white wine, please,' before the woman smiled at her and turned to Skulduggery.

'Anything for you, Sir?'

'No thank-you.'

The woman nodded and scribbled something on her notebook, and wandered off to the kitchen. Valkyrie turned back to Skulduggery, and jumped slightly to see him staring at her.

'What?'

'White wine?'

She sighed. 'I'm nineteen.'

'So?'

'So, it's legal for me to drink, so no tut-tutting at me.'

Skulduggery tutted at her. Valkyrie rolled her eyes and turned her attention to the menu. The waitress returned to their table, resting Valkyries wine on the table.

'Are you ready to order?'

Valkyrie cleared her throat. 'Can I have the vegetable paella with the shaved parmesan?'

The waitress smiled and scribbled it down.

'Any sides?' Valkyrie nodded.

'Can I have a house salad too, please?'

The waitress turned to Skulduggery.

'Anything for you, Sir?'

He sighed. 'No, no thank-you.'

She quickly walked off towards the kitchen one again. Valkyrie cocked her head at him.

'What's wrong?'

Skulduggery rested an elbow on the table, looking at her wine-glass.

'I'm hungry!'

'No you're not.'

He sighed.

'Okay, no I'm not, but I wish that I could eat something.'

'Tough.'

A short while later, Valkyries food arrived. Skulduggery stared at it.

'What's it taste like?'

She tried a mouthful.

'Yeah, it's really nice.' He sighed.

'I don't mean "what's it taste like," I mean, what does food taste like again?'

She shrugged, having another mouthful.

'Depends what it is. I don't know, it's…food.'

'Yes, I gathered that.'

'Well, don't ask such stupid questions if you know the answer to them, then!'

'I'm allowed.'

'No you're not.'

'I'm a detective; I'm allowed to ask as many questions as I please.'

'Well, you wouldn't get very far; asking questions to some random person who's got nothing to do with anything, when the killers jogging half-way up the country!'

Skulduggery laughed and circled the bottom of Valkyries glass with his index finger, looking down at it. His voice softened.

'I'd never be this relaxed with China.'

Valkyrie sighed and nodded, her head drooping slightly.

'Yeah…good old China.'

He looked up at her.

'What makes you say that?'

Valkyrie opened her mouth, but the singer stopped and the speakers crackled into life. 'You Belong With Me' sprang to life, practically spelling out Valkyries dilemma to Skulduggery. She swore in her head, trying not to let it show on her face, but Skulduggery wasn't stupid. He looked at her, and then the speakers.

'What's wrong with this s-' He listened to the lyrics.

_If you could see that I'm the one, who understands you _

_Been here all along, so why can't you see,_

_You belong with me._

_Standing by and waiting at your back-door,_

_All this time, how could you not know baby,_

_You belong with me._

Valkyrie looked down at her food, her hands refusing to settle. Skulduggery's gaze rested on the speakers.

_Oh, I remember you, driving to my house_

_In the middle of the night, I'm the one who makes you laugh,_

_When you know you're 'bout to cry_

_I know your favourite songs, and you tell me about your dreams,_

_Think I know where you belong,_

_Think I know it's with me…_

His gaze fell to Valkyrie biting her lip.

'Valkyrie…'

She swallowed and nodded quickly, her gaze not meeting his.

'Valkyrie, look at me.'

She blinked hard to stop the tears falling and shook her head.

'Valkyrie, please, look at me.'

She stood up suddenly and walked quickly out of the restaurant, the cold hitting her almost immediately. She wiped the stray tears from her eyes, the still night staring down at her.

'Valkyrie!'

She kept walking, ignoring Skulduggery running after her.

'Val!'

'Leave me alone!'

'Please, please, just stop!'

Valkyrie turned around slowly, her tears falling to the ground. Skulduggery slowed down when he saw that she was crying. He stood a few metres away from her. She looked at him.

'What do you want?'

'I…I don't know.'

'WELL YOU CAN GO AWAY THEN!' Valkyrie shouted at him and burst into tears, her hands covering her face. Skulduggery looked up at the sky and sighed.

'I'm blind…I'm just, so, so blind.'

He walked up to her, head dipped.

'I am so sorry, Valkyrie.'

She shook her head as he walked up to her.

'Just go.'

'No.'

She turned away from him and started walking.

'For gods' sake, Val!' He ran in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders, making her stop and look up at him.

'Skul…'

'Please, just let me do something.'

His hands reached under his collar, activating his façade. Waxy skin covered his skeletal figure, his deep green eyes half-hidden under shaggy brown hair. He stepped closer towards her, and kissed her. Valkyrie gasped, but then her arms snaked around his neck. Skulduggery parted from her.

'I forgive you.'

'For what?'

'For falling in love with me.'

Valkyrie smiled and hugged him, her tears fading away.


	15. Moonlight

Valkyrie fought a yawn and checked her phone for the time. It was 11:30pm and neither she nor Skulduggery had finished their investigation reports. She rubbed her eyes and leaned back in Skulduggery's chair.

'I am not going to finish this by midnight.'

Skulduggery Pleasant nodded at her from his desk. She hesitated.

'Can I sleep here tonight?'

'Sorry!'

'Can I sleep on the sofa tonight?'

'O...Okay,'

She placed a hand on his back, making him almost drop the pen he was holding. He stood up quickly.

'Yeah.'

'Mm.'

They stood awkwardly, not looking at each other, until Valkyrie coughed.

'I'll be off then.'

'I'll be there a bit later.'

She waved her fingers at him, and left the room. Skulduggery nodded at no one, looked down at the investigation report, and sighed.

Valkyrie threw her coat onto the floor and started to pull off her tunic. Skulduggery pushed open the door and then quickly looked at the floor when he saw Valkyrie.

'Oh, whoa, sorry.'

She smiled at him.

'It's OK, I've got something descent on underneath.'

He dared himself to look up slowly, to find her in a blue strappy top, eyebrows raised, arms folded.

'I thought you were going to carry on the report?'

'Me too, but I got bored.'

'You're such a goon.'

'And you love it...' He suddenly realised what he was saying and shut up. Valkyrie blushed and pulled a blanket from behind the sofa. She dropped it onto the sofa and looked at Skulduggery.

'Um...'

'Ah?'

She rolled her eyes, and sat down, pulling the blanket over her.

'...I'm gonna go to sleep now.'

'Of course, as will I.'

'Yup,' she said, popping the p.

He walked over to the light, switching it off. Valkyrie blinked in the dark.

'And now...I see nothing.'

He laughed, walked to his meditating chair and sat down.

'Night, then.'

'Happy meditating.' She laid down, pulling the blanket over her.

The hours ticked by slowly. Valkyrie sighed, not being able to sleep. She looked at where Skulduggery was sitting, just able to make out a thin figure through the darkness.

'Skul?'

'Mm?'

'Are you awake?'

'Amazingly, yes. Can't you sleep?'

'No.'

There was a pause, and then she sat up. She turned her attention to the curtains.

'Skul?'

'What?'

'Can you draw back the curtains?''

He cocked his head at her. 'Why?'

'Please?'

He paused, and then stood up. When he threw the curtains back, the moonlight lit the whole room. Valkyrie stared up at the pale light, smiling.

'That's...'

'...Bright?'

She smirked. 'I was thinking beautiful.'

He shrugged and walked towards the sofa, sitting down next to her. She looked at him, daring herself.

'What's wrong, Skulduggery?'

He turned to her.

'Hm?'

'You've been acting...off...around me recently...'

He stayed still. Valkyrie sighed.

'I'm not stupid, I know something's going on about you...what have you got against me?'

There was a silence, and then Skulduggery leaned back.

'I haven't got anything against you...it's the opposite.'

She frowned. He sighed and began to stand up. Valkyrie put a hand on his shoulder.

'Skulduggery.'

He looked at her, and sat back down again. She looked into his eye sockets.

'What did you mean?'

There was another silence, until Skulduggery sighed and looked away.

'I...'

'Yes, Skulduggery?'

'I've been trying to put some distance between us, and failing, because...I...you...'

She leaned forward and put a hand in his.

'Please,' she whispered, 'just...just say it.'

'I'm in love...with...'

'Yes?'

He looked at her.

'I'm completely in love with you.'

She smiled at him.

'Thank God for that.' She leaned forward and kissed him. Fireworks exploded inside both of their minds. Skulduggery parted from her.

'I'm guessing the feelings mutual.'

She laughed and leaned against his shoulder.

'Take a guess.'


	16. Good Nightmares

**One of my favourite films! I own neither Skulduggery Pleasant nor Nightmare before Christmas**

* * *

The DVD started up, the screen becoming a deep shade of blue. Valkyrie sat back in Skulduggery's sofa, her eyes fixed onto the TV. Skulduggery Pleasant walked into the room and turned to the TV screen.

'What's this?'

'Nightmare before Christmas.'

'But it's not Christmas.'

'Yeah, but it's one of my favourite films.'

He walked towards the sofa, sitting down next to her.

'Will I like it?'

'The main characters a skeleton.'

'Ah. I like skeletons.'

She hit him gently with a cushion to shut him up, and returned her attention back to the film. 'This is Halloween' started up, as Valkyrie grinned and bopped her head in time with the music. Skulduggery folded his arms.

'I see no skeletons.'

'Give it a chance, Mr Impatient.'

The pumpkin king rode onto the screen. Valkyrie pointed at it.

'There you go.'

Skulduggery leaned forward to take a closer look.

'No it's not.'

'It is, in a bit.'

'You lie.'

'I do not, just wait.'

Jack Skellington appeared on the screen, making Valkyrie cheer. Skulduggery nodded slowly.

'Oh, that skeleton.'

'Yes! We love you Jack Skellington!'

'Who?'

Valkyrie looked at him.

'Jack Skellington, but 'Skellington's' spelt S-K-E-L-L-I-N-G-T-O-N.'

'Pun.'

'I know.'

A moment passed, and then Skulduggery sighed.

'Now how can he move his mouth...' he looked at the screen again, '...and his eye-sockets like that?'

'Um, well, it's not real...'

'I mean, can't people understand that bone does not move like that? Obviously not!'

'It's an animation, Skulduggery.'

'I certainly can't do that with my eye-sockets. Unfair.'

She rolled her eyes and then shushed him when Jack's Lament started. She sighed affectionately.

'Is it possible for skeletons to be sexy?'

Skulduggery shuffled embarrassed.

'Um...'

She realised what she said and shut up. Skulduggery stared at the skeleton on the screen, watching Jack detach his head whilst still singing. Skulduggery gripped his neck.

'Ow!'

'What?'

'That. Would. Hurt!'

'We've been through this.'

The song ended, Jacks head hanging in sadness. Valkyrie stuck out her bottom lip.

'Skeletons have feeling too!'

'Indeed we do.'

Valkyrie sighed and laid down, her feet resting on Skulduggerys lap. He looked down at them, and then at her, his arms raised slightly.

'Oh...okay then.'

She smiled to herself.

* * *

'What is with skeletons voices?'

'Pardon?'

Valkyrie sighed. 'Jacks voice turns me into jelly.'

'You said skeletons-what about my voice.'

She bit her lip. 'Um...well...you're voice does, you know...erm...'

'Yes?'

'...The same.'

He laughed; she shut her eyes in embarrassment.

'And now I'm never gonna live it down.'

'Nope.'

'I hate you so much.'

'I know. What do you mean?'

She swallowed, forgetting who she was talking to. 'Skulduggery Pleasant's voice is like...velvet, like a skeleton should sound, perfect, deep, intellectual...full of absolute pure-ness. No, I know the word, passionate...graceful, soft yet grazed...with the most beautiful, smooth, deep Irish accent...' She realised exactly what she said and clapped a hand over her mouth before she said anything else. Skulduggery was staring at her.

'Right.'

'I can't believe I just said that.'

'No, well, you're not the only one.'

There was a painful silence, as both of them watched the film. Jack sang to Sally atop the unwinding hill, making Valkyrie sniff.

'Aw.'

'What?'

'It's so cute.'

'What is?'

'Wait for it...'

Jack leaned forward and kissed Sally. Skulduggery leaned back onto the sofa.

'That's...'

'Mm?'

'That _is_ really romantic.'

'Huh?'

'Well...because although he's a skeleton, he still loves her...' He dipped his skull quickly, feeling stupid. Valkyrie looked at him.

'What makes you say tha-' Skulduggery stood up quickly.

'Good film...I've, got to...carry on the investigation report...' He walked quickly out of the room, but not fast enough. Valkyries hand gripped around his wrist.

'Skulduggery.'

He turned to her, skull still slightly dipped. She stood up in front of him. She placed two fingers under his chin, lifting it up to meet her gaze.

'Answer the question.'

Skulduggery sounded like he was swallowing.

'What...what question?' She sighed.

'You know what I mean, Skul.' He hesitated and then sighed. He took Valkyrie's hand and brought his mouth to her ear.

'Let's just say...that Jack is a lucky skeleton to get the person he absolutely adores even though he's just a bag of bones, and,' he sighed again.

'I wish that I could be him, and you could be Sally.' He dropped her hand and walked out of the room.

Valkyrie stayed where she was, dumb-struck, and then she came to her senses.

'Skulduggery!'

* * *

**Whadda think? Review!**


	17. Good Nightmares part2

**Couple of things to say...**

**First thing, this idea came from the awsome Holly Swift, adapted by yours truely. Secondly, I know that nightmare before christmas was never made into a theatre production, but hey.**

* * *

Skulduggery said nothing in reply; he just sighed and said he needed to carry on the report. Valkyrie got the message, and left abruptly.

**3 days later...**

Valkyrie looked up from the book she was reading to the sound of her front door-bell. Resting the book on a nearby table, she wandered towards the door and opened it. She raised an eyebrow to see Skulduggery standing on her door-step.

'Hello.'

'Hi.'

He coughed and produced a white envelope and slipped it into Valkyrie's hand.

'Present.'

She raised both eyebrows and looked down at it.

'Can I open this?'

'Yes, of course.'

She hesitated, and then opened the top of it, tipping the contents out onto her hand. Two black and orange rectangular tickets fell out. She turned them over to see an orange metallic pumpkin on the front, and the title, 'Nightmare before Christmas-Theatrical Production.'

Valkyrie stared at them, open-mouthed.

'This...'

'It's just a thought, you don't have to go and see it-' Valkyrie squealed and wrapped her arms around the skeletons neck.

Skulduggery stepped back, almost falling off the door-step.

'Um...'

'Thank-you! Oh my God! Thank-you so much!' She parted from him, the grin not leaving her face. Skulduggery dug his hands in his pockets.

'I thought you might want to go with, I don't know, Tanith or...' Valkyrie laughed.

'No, I'm going with you!'

'Really?'

'Yes, of course-you bought the tickets, and I bet they wern't cheap.'

'It doesn't matter.'

'Were they expensive?'

'Like I said-it doesn't matter.'

Valkyrie smiled at him, and then down at the tickets.

The theatre was over-flowing with people, all mages, and all complete and utter fans. Valkyrie and Skulduggery waded through the exited mages towards the ticket booth. A spotty 20 year-old with one red eye and one white grinned vaguely at the two of them.

'Tickets, please.'

Skulduggery handed the two tickets to him. The 20 year-old nodded and stamped a corner of them, handing them back. Valkyrie started walking towards the seats mentioned, but stopped when she saw Skulduggery talking quietly to the man in the booth. The man nodded several times, looking at Valkyrie, and then raised his eyebrows and nodded a final time. When Skulduggery followed Valkyrie towards the seats, she frowned at him.

'What was all that about?'

'Pardon?'

'What were you talking about?' He laughed quietly and directed her to the seats, hands on her shoulders.

'You'll see...probably.'

She rolled her eyes at him, sitting down. He sat next to her heavily, checking his pocket watch.

The lights dimmed as the curtains across the stage parted, making everyone squeal in excitement and run to their seats. Skulduggery turned to her, seeing her face turn pink with adrenaline.

They had chosen the front row-centre seats, so Valkyrie was the first person to hear the nostalgic violin begin to play. Everyone watching gave out a exited gasp as the screen light up with a pumpkin-orange and the backdrop of flying ghosts leaped on to the stage. Valkyrie's eyes lit up with happiness, Skulduggery looked at her slightly, smiling in his head. Everyone was on their feet when Jack appeared through green smoke. Valkyrie grinned at Skulduggery.

'You should have been him.'

'I know.'

'Never mind, eh?'

He laughed and clapped along with everyone else.

The show went on for another couple of hours, Valkyrie grinning like a child all the way through. During the last few moments of the interval, Skulduggery took a deep, impossible, breath and turned to Valkyrie in his seat.

'I've got to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back.'

'Okay.'

He nodded and stood up, walking through the aisle. It was then when Valkyrie realised her stupidity. She stood up slightly.

'Hey...'

Skulduggery ignored her.

'Skulduggery? Why would you even need to go to the bathroom?'

The lights dimmed once again, ushering her back into her seat. She sighed, slightly confused.

Ten minutes until the end, and Skulduggery had not returned from the apparent bathroom. He was going to miss the finale. Valkyrie dug out her phone, starting to text him, but the finale had already started. She sighed and put her phone away, not wanting to miss the ending. She frowned at the stage. It was empty, no actors or backdrops.

And that's when the orchestra started playing that famous final song, and Skulduggery Pleasant walked through the curtain.

Valkyrie stared at him, open-mouthed. He walked around the stage, singing beautifully.

_My dearest friend,_

_If you don't mind..._

And then he turned to Valkyrie, walking towards her.

_I'd like to join you by your side,_

_Where we can gaze upon the stars..._

He leaned forward and held out a hand to her. She stared in disbelief but took it, and found herself being hoisted up on stage by him. Skulduggery carried on singing to her, not letting go of her hand.

_And sit together,_

_Now and forever..._

He stepped closer towards her, as she stared up into his eye-sockets. She found herself singing with him, tears welling up in her eyes.

_For it is plain,_

_As anyone can see,_

_We're simply meant..._

He wrapped an arm around her waist, as she snaked her arms around his neck.

_To be._

Skulduggery leaned forward and kissed her, as the stage erupted in applause. They parted and looked out at the sea of audience, all on their feet cheering. Valkyrie laughed breathlessly.

'My...god!'

'I know.'

'You absolutely adore me, don't you?'

'Indeed.'

'Well,' she looked back at him, 'The feelings mutual, detective.'

He laughed and hugged her, not caring about the audience's applause or the actors around them taking their bows.


	18. Girlfriend

**Just a bit of fun :)**

The small hall was buzzing with mages, all ready for the show ahead. Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain wandered through the crowds, spotting their front row centre seats at long last. They sat down, waiting for the curtains to open up and the show to begin. Valkyrie forced Skulduggery to come along to this, but hadn't told him what the show actually was. She looked down at her watch every two minutes, tapping her feet nervously. Skulduggery looked at her.

'Why are you so jumpy?'

'I...I am?'

'You haven't been sitting still all the time we've been here.'

'I'm just impatient, that's all.'

Tanith and Ghastly sat down next to them. Tanith grinned at Valkyrie and nodded at her. Skulduggery and Ghastly stared at them.

'Has Valkyrie been doing the whole nervous-jumpy thing as well?'

'Yeah...'

Tanith leaned back in her chair and winked at her. Valkyrie made a face and pointed behind her, to see Sanguine walk through the door and sit down next to them. Skulduggery and Ghastly stiffened.

'What are you doing here?'

'None of your business, dead man, I just was kinda forced along to this.'

Ghastly frowned at him.

'By who?'

'I don't know her name-she jus' phone me up an' told me to come here.'

Ghastly raised an eyebrow at Skulduggery.

'Could it be-?'

'Possibly.'

Tanith leaned forward and held up her hand to Valkyrie. Valkyrie swallowed nervously and nodded. Tanith grinned once again.

'Okay boys, we've got to go.'

Ghastly cocked his head.

'What? Where?'

'We'll come back,' said Valkyrie. Skulduggery looked at her.

'I'm confused.'

'I knew you would be-give us five minutes and then you'll see us.'

Valkyrie and Tanith jumped out of their seats, walking away from the three men. Tanith spun round to face Sanguine.

'By the way, China called you.' She spun around again and followed Valkyrie. Billy-Ray smirked.

'China Sorrows?'

Skulduggery carried on looking at Valkyrie.

'Yeah...'

'China Sorrows called me to this? Why? And where is she?'

'Um, I don't know.'

'Are you even listening?'

'No.'

Sanguine folded his arms and leaned back in his chair. Skulduggery and Ghastly looked at each-other.

'Where have they gone?' Ghastly asked.

Skulduggery said nothing in reply because the lights dimmed around them. He sighed.

'Valkyrie's going to miss the show.' He stood up slightly in his chair.

'Val! It's starting!'

When no reply came, he sat back down again looking up at the stage. Ghastly scratched his head.

'I'm so confused.'

'Myself included.

And then the curtains opened. The stage lit up as China, Tanith and Valkyrie sashayed on, all wearing matching dancing dresses, Tanith's red, China's green and Valkyrie's purple.

Skulduggery stared at Valkyrie, Ghastly stared at Tanith, Sanguine stared at China.

'What the h-'

The stage erupted as Girlfriend started playing. The girls pointed at the men, miming the words, bopping slightly.

_Hey, hey, you, you,_

_I don't like your girlfriend._

_No way, no way,_

_I think you need a new one, _

_Hey, hey, you, you,_

_I want to be your girlfriend..._

They stood in a line, facing the left, shimmying. They started dancing, grinning at the three guys below them. They spun and stomped their feet in perfect timing, making the audience (apart from the confused three,) cheer.

_In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger..._

The three of them stooped down in front of the bemused three, China facing Sanguine, Tanith facing Ghastly, and Valkyrie facing Skulduggery.

'Cos I can, 'cos I can do it better...

They grabbed onto the boys ties, their fingers twirling around them, making the three of them get pulled out of their seats. Valkyrie looked into Skulduggerys eye-sockets, miming the words to him. He stared at her, saying nothing.

_There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in..._

They snaked their arms around the men's necks and looked at the audience behind them, miming the words.

_She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?_

They pushed them back into their chairs, jumping back onto the stage, kicking their shoes up into the air.

_Hey, hey, you, you,_

_I don't like your girlfriend,_

_No way, no way_,

_I think you need a new one,_

_Hey, hey, you, you,_

_I could be your girlfriend..._

They pointed once again at the three, moving simultaneously.

_Hey, hey!_

They jumped into the air as applause rang in their ears. They winked at the three men, and then exited the stage, giggling.

'My...God!' Tanith panted.

'They must've got the message by now,' China said. Valkyrie grinned.

'They're so blind sometimes! If that didn't get the message across that we adore them, I don't know what will.'

Skulduggery, Sanguine and Ghastly stared at the stage where they had last saw them, still slightly slumped in their seats. Skulduggery sat up and straightened his tie.

'Right.'

Ghastly looked at him.

'Why did they do that?'

'Haven't a clue.'

'Were they trying to tell us something?' Sanguine said. Skulduggery shrugged.

'I don't no. I'm not sure what though.'


	19. Flirting

The letter-box opened as a letter dropped onto the landing of 1 Cemetery Road. Skulduggery looked up from his newspaper, walked over to the letter and picked it up. He walked back to his chair, sitting down heavily whilst opening it to find a small black card with fake silver leaves on the top corners. In silver writing, it read,

_'Dear sir/madam,_

_You are invited to attend the yearly Sanctuary prom, tonight at 7.00pm, in the Sanctuary._

_Regards,_

_Erskine Ravel, _

_Grand Mage.'_

Skulduggery nodded at the invitation and headed upstairs to decide what suit to wear.

Valkyrie opened the invitation that dropped onto her landing and panicked. _Today! How was she meant to decide what to wear and how to look in_...she checked her watch …two_ hours?_ She threw the invitation in the air and dashed upstairs to her room, grabbing her hairbrush.

The Sanctuary had been scrubbed clean of dirt so the walls and floors gleamed, making everyones eyes hurt. Skulduggery didn't mind though, he didn't have eyes.

He pushed politely passed the mages holding cocktails, talking in small clusters. He made his way down the spiral staircase to the ballroom, only open when these events took place, gold ornate wallpaper and furniture lining the walls, a live orchestra playing on the far left.

Skulduggery looked at the dancers, sighing. He's on his own once again; he always is when he goes to this, every year. He decided that he wouldn't stay long, he didn't know anyone here, no one would miss him. Suddenly he heard a squeal and an 'aw' next to him, as a young couple were staring up at the spiral staircase.

'Isn't she pretty!' sighed the young woman.

Skulduggery cocked his head at them, and then turned to see who they were looking at.

Valkyrie Cain descended the staircase, her glimmering black masquerade dress trailing behind her; containing layers of black and silver, earrings to match. Her hair was completely curled, bouncing gently around her shoulders. Her usual 'S' necklace from her parents rested across her chest. make-up silver to match her dress, her black high heels adorned with silver beading snip-snapped across the staircase as she walked.

Skulduggery stared at her, his feet rooted to the spot. _She is absolutely beautiful, and I could never properly tell her that._

Valkyrie looked around the ballroom, looking lost, spotted Skulduggery and smiled, walking towards him. He carried on staring at her, lost for words.

'Heya.'

...

'...Skul?'

...

'Hello?'

...

'Anyone in there?' She tapped his skull with her black nails. He shook his head quickly, snapping back to reality.

'Oh.'

'Hello again.'

'Val...'

'Mm?'

'You...you look...'

'Continue, please.'

'I...don't know how to say it.'

'You'll cope, continue.'

Guess I'll just have to break that rule. He pulled her into a hug, making her jump slightly. She smiled and rested her chin onto his shoulder, breathing in that familiar musty smell.

'You look bloody amazing.'

She laughed and playfully hit his back.

'Language.'

He parted from her; mockingly put a hand over his teeth.

'Sorry, but that's how you look.' She raised an eyebrow.

'I've had better compliments-come on; you can do better than that.'

He dug his hands in his pockets and leaned towards her ear.

'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely, and more temperate. Rough winds shake the darling buds of May-and summers l-' Valkyrie laughed and hit him playfully once again.

'Okay, I get it.'

'I haven't finished yet.'

'But I'm hungry!' She grinned at him and made for the buffet table. The food looked immaculately made and presented; Valkyrie was almost scared to ruin it, but she was hungry, so she grabbed a plate and helped herself to some carrots sticks. Whilst she was eating, she glanced around the ballroom, trying to pick out people that she knew from the madness. She saw Erskine, surrounded by a group of girls, and China surrounded by a group of men, but she didn't recognise anyone else, and certainly not a dance partner.

There's always Skulduggery.

Maybe she just wouldn't dance...

There's always Skulduggery.

She could just go home early...

There's always Skulduggery.

She smiled at such a thought and finished off her sausage roll. The orchestra bowed and the speakers sprang to life. 'Falling in' filled the ballroom, making Valkyrie choke on her food.

Oh the irony!

She swallowed down her drink and turned to Skulduggery.

_Every time I see your face_

_My heart takes off on a high-speed chase, now,_

_Don't be scared, it's only love, _

_Baby that we're falling in._

Skulduggery was looking at her through empty eye sockets. Valkyrie frowned at him. Was he miming the words to her? He was moving his mouth in time to the music, and he wasn't talking to anyone, so maybe...

_I can't wait till tomorrow,_

_This feeling has swallowed,_

_Me whole, and I know,_

_That I've lost control._

She grinned at him. He obviously hasn't noticed that I'm staring right at him.

_This heart that I've followed,_

_Has left me so hollow,_

_That was then, this is now,_

_Yeah, you have changed everything._

She dropped her empty plate onto the table and walked over to him. He snapped back into reality and looked at her properly.

'Hello.'

'Were...were you just...'

'Deja vu.'

She laughed and coughed.

'It...Doesn't matter.'

He nodded, hesitated, and then held out a gloved hand to her.

'May we dance, ma'am?' She smirked and took his hand.

'If we must.'

He quickly took up the usual ballroom dance pose, leading Valkyrie round in a small circle.

_Every time I see your face,_

_My heart takes off on a high-speed chase,_

_Don't be scared, it's only love,_

_That we're falling in._

Valkyrie smiled at him.

'You're doing it again.'

'Hmm?'

'You're miming the words to me.'

He smirked and leaned forward towards her ear.

'I would never do you wrong,

Or let you down, or lead you on,

Don't look down, it's only love,

Baby that we're falling in.'

Valkyrie swallowed.

'Sorry?'

'It's my way of flirting.'

'Right, I see, and why do you want to flirt with me?'

'Well; you're charming, funny, ridiculously attractive, passionate, intelligent, well-read, covert young woman, and I'm a charming, brilliant, intelligent, witty, dashing, interesting, passionate, modest young-ish man.'

'I see, and why would these two people be in such context?'

'Because this young-ish man seeks this young woman.'

'And what why is that?'

'Because he loves her.'

Valkyrie looked up at Skulduggery, her smile turning coy.

'And does this young woman feel the same about this young-ish man?'

'I bloody well hope so.' He leaned forward and kissed her. She parted from him, grinning.

'Language.' He smirked.

'Like I give a damn right now.'


	20. Bullet

**Oooh, it might be quite a sad one! Listen to an emotional song whilst reading :)**

**Okay, so I've changed it-I wasn't happy with it, so if you've already read it, read it again please!**

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The black, cloudless sky swirled above the chaos of Darquess. Up-turned cars littered the once mundane streets of Dublin-now those streets were filled with screams and cries. Red bricks lay in broken clusters here and there, as Skulduggery and Valkyrie fought. Darquess was Valkyrie's reflection, eyes a silent white colour, dark hair whipped across her face. She raised her arms, filling the sky with angry flames, as she threw them in the direction of Valkyrie and Skulduggery. They ran to a car, kneeling behind it. Skulduggery reloaded his gun.

'You shouldn't be here.'

'I've told you once and I'll tell you again; I'm not leaving you.' He looked at her.

'This isn't safe for you.'

'I know. And I'm very scared, but I'm not leaving you, like I said.' He put a hand on her shoulder, making her blush.

'Well...good luck then,' He said briskly before running out of cover, firing his gun at Darquess. Valkyrie ran out of cover as well, letting the flame in her hands grow into a ball. She aimed it at Darquess' hand, and threw. It landed on target, burning her hand. She screamed, and turned her attention to Valkyrie, a grin spreading across her face.

'Hello, Stephanie.'

Valkyrie shook her head, displacing the air, knocking Darquess onto her back. Skulduggery stood over her.

'Darquess.'

'Skulduggery.'

He let the flame in his hand grow, and threw it onto her. She screamed, and then went silent. Valkyrie panted for air, exhausted. Skulduggery sighed and let his gun fall to the ground.

'We're not dead.'

'No...'

He walked over to her.

'We defeated Darquess.'

'Indeed we did.' He smirked.

'It seems we're unstoppable.'

'Yeah,' she stepped closer towards him, 'maybe that's a good thing.'

'Maybe.'

They stood in front of each other, wanting to say the same thing but not quite knowing how to say it.

And that's when Darquess opened her eyes for a final time, grabbed Skulduggerys gun, and shot Valkyrie.

The bullet settled in Valkyries chest. She doubled over. Her mouth gaped open, her hand clutching the wound. Darquess closed her eyes, gone, as Skulduggery stared at Valkyrie. She looked at him, and then fell into his arms. He caught her, resting her on the ground, kneeling over her.

'No...No...'

Valkyrie looked up at him, gasping for breath.

'I'm dying, aren't I?'

He held onto her neck, cradling her.

'Don't say that.'

'Skul...' She put a shaky hand on his cheekbone, noticing his gasps.'...are you crying?'

He sighed and rested his cheekbone on her hand.

'Don't leave me.'

'I'm sorry...' Her voice a little more than a whisper.

'You can't, I can't go through this again, not again, please...' He burst into invisible tears, clutching onto her.

'Skul...look at me.' He did as her was told.

'Yes?'

'Before I die...' He shook his head.

'Don't say that!'

'Please, let me finish.' Her voice dropped to a whisper.

'Skulduggery Pleasant...' she sighed, close to crying; 'Goodbye.' He hugged her close again, gasping through invisible tears.

'NO!'

'I'm sorry...' He looked at her again.

'I can't...I can't go through this again, Valkyrie...I can't lose the woman I love again...' she smiled weakly at him.

'You...' He nodded quickly.

'Don't leave me, please, oh god, do't leave me alone here.' She closed her eyes, a tear falling to the ground.

'Save me.'

He didn't need to be told twice. He picked her up, carrying her to the Bentley.

* * *

**Review!**


	21. Possessed

The mobile beeped twice in her pocket. Valkyrie pulled it out and read the message shown on the screen. 'Get 2 Ghastlys shop ASAP. Tanith.'

She frowned, and dug the phone back in her pocket, walking out of her front door.

She knocked on Ghastly's front door, to be met by the owner.

'You're here.'

'It would seem so.'

He swallowed and put a hand on her back, ushering her inside, closing the front door behind them. Valkyrie wandered to the main room, spotting Tanith Low leaning against the worktop. She stood up properly when she saw her.

'Val.'

'Hey.' Valkyrie grinned and sat down as Ghastly walked in. Tanith bit her lip, and then took a deep breath.

'You're going to have to stay here for a while.' Valkyrie frowned.

'Why?' Ghastlys eyes dipped.

'A remnant...has possessed Skulduggery.' Valkyrie whipped her head round to look at him, standing up quickly.

'What! How?' Tanith put a hand on Valkyries shoulder.

'It was when he had his facade activated, but, now it's deactivated, it's still in him.' Valkyries eyes stung as she clapped her hands slowly over her mouth. Shaking, she sat down again, feeling the comforting hand of Taniths on her shoulder.

'But...he can't be...'

'We're keeping you here, out of his way, until we find out what to do.' Valkyrie looked up at the two of them, and then stood up slowly.

'If I'm staying here, then I need to get some clothes from Gordon's.' Ghastly nodded reassuringly. Valkyrie made her way out of the shop, wiping her eyes.

Valkyrie let herself into Gordon's mansion, closing the door behind her. Walking slowly upstairs to her bedroom, she was just about to open the door, when she heard something. She turned her head slightly, ears straining to figure out what it was.

Piano music.

She blinked, and then walked cautiously towards the music room, to see Skulduggery Pleasant playing the black grand piano.

Her eyes widened as she slowly started to back away. And then came the voice. Skulduggerys voice, but there was something different, something replacing the velvet tone with a sharp, stinging accent.

'Hello, Valkyrie Cain.' He stood up slowly. She shook her head, breaking into a run down the corridor. But Skulduggery was faster. He gripped her by the wrist.

'Don't leave so fast little one, please, stay.' Valkyrie yanked out of his grip.

'Stay away from me.' He smirked, moving closer towards her.

'Why would you want me to do that, eh? Why would you want your best friend to leave you?'

Valkyrie ran down to the hall, but was met by Skulduggery again. She gasped.

'Get out of my way!' He put a hand on her shoulder.

'Now now, my dear, you don't really mean that, do you?'

'Yes, I do, Remnant.'

'I have a name, you've known me for, oooh, eight years now, you should know it by now.'

'I've known the person who you've possessed, not you.'

'But you know me so well, don't you Valkyrie? You know so much, you could say it's becoming a bit more than partners in crime.' She swallowed.

'I don't know what you're talking about.' He stepped even closer towards her.

'It's obvious, isn't it? You love me, oh, you really, really love me, don't you Valkyrie Cain?'

'Stop it!'

'NO!' He shouted, and then put his hand in hers.

'Admit, my dear, you've always loved this...thing. Such a shame that he's just a load of bones, nothing. But, maybe that's a good thing,' He held her hand properly,' we'd be so well suited.'

She snarled, pulled back her hand and slapped him. His skull spun back, and then slowly turned back to her.

'Not, a wise choice, darling.'

'I don't care, just leave Skulduggery alone.'

'He loves you too, you know that? He absolutely adores you, but hey, it's too late for that now.' He tucked some of her hair behind her ear. 'You know that he can hear all of this, all of what you're saying to me.'

'You're bluffing.'

'No I am not, sweetheart. He's here, inside, listening, listening to you and I talking about what feelings you have for him...maybe we should check that he's listening.' He hit Valkyrie, knocking her off her feet. She screamed as she fell onto the floor.

He smirked at her.

'So this is why he loves you, so easily defeated, so simply influenced.' He picked her up by the front of her top. She struggled in his grip.

'Put me down!'

'Tell me that you love me!'

'No!'

'TELL ME!' She looked up at his eye-sockets, terrified.

'I'm...I'm in love with Skulduggery Pleasant.' He laughed.

'Are you listening, Skull-face! This idiot loves you!'

Oh, he was listening alright.

The possessed skeleton suddenly dropped Valkyrie onto the floor, and screamed. Valkyrie stepped back, shocked, as he writhed and twisted in agony.

And then the real Skulduggerys voice, velvety, grazed, found its way out.

'LEAVE...VALKYRIE...ALONE!' Valkyrie gasped.

'Skulduggery!'

Something black flashed past his eye sockets. The remnant. The voice came again.

'Get...Out!' The skeleton gave one final scream, and then the remnant poured out, escaping back to its brothers. Valkyrie ducked as it flittered through an open window.

She turned to the crumpled skeleton on the floor.

'Skulduggery?' She walked towards him, kneeling next to him.

'Skul?' He looked up at her, and buried his skull in her top.

'I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry Val, I didn't mean to...' She smiled and hugged him.

'It's not your fault.' She stopped talking when she heard Skulduggery sobbing.

'I didn't mean to hurt you, or say all that...that stuff, I'm sorry!' She shook her head.

'Sh, it wasn't you; I know you would never do something like that.' He nodded and looked up at her.

'But...all that stuff about me...loving you...' She raised her eyebrows at him.

'Mm?' He hesitated, making a sound like he was swallowing.

'It was true.'


	22. Engagment Prequel

**YES! YES! FINALLY!**

**So, so sorry, I've been away for a while-fanction was being really annoying, and decided to stop working on me. But I'm back! I've made Bullet into a one-shot, not a chapter-y one;I couldnt think of how to carry it on, so...**

**This is a PREqual to Engagment?, so its what happened the night before.**

* * *

Valkyrie leaned against the Bentley, bored. It had been a long night of sorting out papers, and now it had just gone 10.00pm. Skulduggery walked over to her, head tilted slightly.

'Are you alright?'

'I'm _so_ bored!' She slipped into the car, leaning back in her chair. Skulduggery smirked and got into his seat next to her.

'Why are you bored?' She groaned.

'Because we don't do anything apart from investigation reports at the moment, I want something to happen!'

'Well, that's what being a detective all about, it's our job.'

'Our job sucks.'

'Sometimes.'

Valkyrie sighed and looked at him. She hesitated.

'Can we go somewhere?' He turned to her slightly.

'What place are thinking of?'

'The Nocturnal.'

Skulduggery turned round to look at her completely.

'The mage disco-y, club-y place?'

'Yeah.'

'The one where there's a lot of alcohol, smoking, and teenagers snogging in the toilets?'

'That's the one.'

'Do you really think that's a good idea?' She grinned at him.

'Nope.' He shrugged and switched on the engine.

'Okay then.'

The music hit them as soon as they entered The Nocturnal. Black wallpaper, red furniture, a large DJ station, a bar, and a dance floor. Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie.

'I'm going home, bye.'

She laughed and held onto his wrist before he could walk away.

'Please? We don't have to stay long.'

He hesitated, and then sighed and nodded.

'Fine, but I am not dancing.' She grinned at him and dragged him to the bar, sitting down. She nodded at the bartender, ordering a couple of shots. Skulduggery sat next to her, shaking his head. She sighed and helped herself to one of the shots. And another. And another.

'Slow down, Val!' She looked up at him, her head spinning slightly.

'Lighten up a bit, Skul.' She picked up another glass and handed it to him. He took it, hesitated, and then activated his facade, knocking it back.

She patted his shoulder, ordering another lot. Skulduggery sighed.

'Don't go crazy, Val.' She grabbed another two shots, handing one to him, drinking hers.

'I'm _fiiine,_ Skul.' He rolled his eyes and drank his. And then he had another, and another. Valkyrie tutted, wagging a finger at him.

'I though you said "slow down"?' He deactivated his facade.

'Stuff it,' he slurred, slamming the empty glass on the table. She tugged at his arm, pulling him to the dance floor. He shook his skull.

'No.'

'Yes, yes, yes!' She pulled him out of his chair, onto the dance floor. He staggered after her.

_'Nooo_!' She rolled her head back, laughing.

'Pur-lease!' He laughed drunkly and followed. 'Take it off' started up. Valkyrie grinned and Skulduggery groaned.

'No, Val.'

'Go on, you know you want to!'

He shook his head, but started dancing, along with everyone else on the dance floor. They raised their arms in the air, blending in with the crowd.

'This, is, awesome,' Valkyrie slurred out. Skulduggery nodded at her.

'Have I ever told you how sexy you are?' Valkyrie giggled, wrapping her arms around him.

'What, sexier than your wife?' Skulduggery pointed vaguely behind him.

'_Her_? She's like, she's gone, vamoose.'

'I know, but, like, so you fancy me?'

'Yeah, sure.'

'Weelll, I think, you are a _veeery_ sexy skeleton.' He smirked.

'I bet you do.' He kissed her, making her laugh.

'So, you love me.'

'Yeah, you're like the angel in my life, like the best thing ev-er.'

'I know!'

'I'll tell you what...'

'What, darling?'

'We should get married, Val.' Valkyries eyes widened.

'Oh my God, that is such a good idea!' He reached into his pocket and pulled out a gold ring.

'Valkyrie Cain, will you marry me?' Valkyrie laughed and held out her left hand.

'Yes, of course I will!' He smirked and slipped it onto her ring finger, pulling her into another kiss.

'_Skuldigger_y?'

'Yup.'

'I'm _tiiired_.' He nodded and carried on kissing her. She laughed hysterically.

'Can we go home now?'

Skulduggery and Valkyrie staggered up to 1 Cemetery Road. Valkyrie grinned and grabbed his hat. He laughed.

'Hey!'

'Come and get it, then!' She ran around his front garden whilst he chased her. He backed her against a tree.

'No escape, Val.' She smiled coyly, and then threw the hat into the tree. He swore and tried to grab it, Valkyrie doubled over, laughing.

'Try getting it now!'

'You cheater!'

'Mhm.'

'You'll pay for that...' He kissed her once again. She giggled and batted him away.

'Like I said, I'm tired.' She grabbed the key from his hand and opened the front door. Skulduggery followed, closing the door behind him. Valkyrie sat in his seat, her head lulling back lazily. He walked up to her.

'Good-night, Sleeping Beauty.'

She smiled and closed her eyes.

'I love you.'

'I love you too, and tomorrow, we are going to get married.' He walked, half-asleep, towards the sofa. Exhausted, he slid down the side of it, falling into meditation in seconds.


	23. A Villain

***sigh* Again, I've been away for a while-fanfiction is being a sulky whatsit and not letting me upload very often. I'd like to say merci to my best friend Alice for giving me the idea (also she gave me the idea for 'possessed') Love you Alice! But then again, really hate you...**

* * *

The fire in Valkyries hand burned out when both she and Skulduggery stepped out of the dark tunnel, and into a vast open abandoned arena. The walls surrounding them were grey and dank, the floor they trod on was a grey stone, cold and silence coated the arena.

'I don't think we're meant to be here,' Valkyrie whispered.

Skulduggery nodded slowly. 'It's the only place we haven't checked yet. He's in here.'

He held his gun in one hand, and moved slowly forward, his gaze scanning the arena.

Valkyrie did the same, and then gasped when Joey Red-Half dropped from the ceiling. Obviously, he had red scales running across one side of his body only, his black suit covering most of it. His bald head was half-hidden with a half-mask of black. He turned to Valkyrie.

'Playing a detective game now, my dear?'

Skulduggery spun round to face him, both hands on the gun.

'There you are, Joey.'

'Hello to you too, skeleton.'

Valkyrie summoned a new flame, whilst Skulduggery stepped closer towards him.

'You're under arrest.'

Joey smirked under his mask. 'And what for?'

'For the murder of Pablo Outrage.'

Joey shrugged. 'I was doing everyone a favour, bones.'

Skulduggery thumbed back the hammer of his gun. 'That is not my name, and Pablo was not a nuisance to anyone.'

Joey raised the one visible eyebrow. 'So sorry...Skul-dugg-er-y.'

Valkyrie stepped towards him. 'Tell us why you murdered him.'

Joey smirked again, and then shrugged. 'Outrage was a part of the Australian Sanctuary, I am Australian. I have my reasons.'

Skulduggery cocked his head. 'And what are they?'

'Because he...got in the way.'

'That doesn't make any sense.'

'It does to me.'

Valkyrie looked at him for a moment, and then raised her head, understanding.

'Oh, I get it.'

Skulduggery turned his gaze slightly towards her. 'Well, I don't.'

'You killed him because he took your job, didn't you?'

Joey stopped smiling.

Skulduggery nodded slowly. 'I see, he got the job as Council of the Elders, the job that you wanted, so you shot him.'

Joey's eyes narrowed. 'Yes.'

Skulduggery sighed. 'Now that was stupid.'

'It seemed like a good idea at the time.'

'Now you'll never get the job.'

Joey's shoulders sagged. 'No need to rub it in.'

'You're under arrest.'

Joey grinned at him. 'No I'm not.'

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. 'Yes you are, Joey.'

Skulduggery moved towards him, his gun not wavering. Joey laughed and jumped onto the ceiling, walked across it, and landed the right way up onto one of the seats.

'Now try.'

Skulduggery groaned. 'Now that's…that's just cheating.'

Valkyrie sighed. 'Maybe you could fly up there.'

'I'm not so good at that height.'

'Can't we take the stairs?'

Skulduggery shook his head. 'We set fire to them on our way in.'

'Oh, yeah.'

Joey grinned at the two of them.

'When you've figured out what to do, I'll be leaving.'

Skulduggery pointed the gun at Joeys head. 'Not if I shoot you first.'

Joey put his hands in his pockets. 'In front of your apprentice?'

Valkyrie scowled. 'I'm not his apprentice!'

'Oh, sorry, what are you then? The extra? The assistant? The tag-along?'

Skulduggery shook his head. 'Valkyrie is none of those things.'

'Yes, sorry, I forgot, when were you going to admit to her?'

Skulduggery stiffened. 'I don't know what you're talking about.'

Joey cocked his head. 'You know exactly what I mean, skeleton. When were you going to tell her that you love her?'

Valkyrie's head spun round to look at Skulduggery. 'What?'

Skulduggery shook his head, his voice dangerously calm. 'I don't know how you know that. I don't know what gave you that impression, and, frankly, I don't care.'

Joey laughed. 'I didn't need anyone to tell me, it was staring at me in the face. You're being blind, Valkyrie.'

Valkyrie said nothing to Joey; she just shook her head and looked at Skulduggery, and saw the hand not holding the gun was shaking slightly.

'Skulduggery?'

Skulduggery looked up at Joey, and then looked at Valkyries confusion, then back at Joey. His shoulders sagged as he lowered the arm holding the gun, defeated.

Joey nodded at him. 'Wise choice, detective. We'll see each other again.' He saluted, a two finger salute, and then turned around and walked through the wall.

Skulduggery looked back at where he last saw him, roared, and angrily threw his gun to the ground. Valkyrie backed away from him, slightly scared.

'Skul?'

He rolled his skull back, brushing his hand across his forehead. Valkyrie picked up the gun from the ground, and slowly walked towards him.

'You…dropped something.'

Skulduggery leaned against one of the walls. She held out the gun with a shaky hand to him. Skulduggery looked at her and nodded slightly, holding out a hand for it, Valkyrie handed it to him and then backed away. Skulduggery placed it back into his holster and stood up properly. Valkyrie swallowed.

'Are you alright?'

He nodded at her and walked towards the threshold of the arena. Valkyrie followed him, and then plucked up the courage.

'What did Joey mean by-'

'Back to the Bentley.'

Valkyrie nodded quickly and carried on walking behind him.

The drive back to Gordon's Estate was silent, Skulduggery's gaze fixed on the road, Valkyrie's on him. When they arrived at the house, Skulduggery braked and rested his hands on the wheel. Valkyrie unbuckled her seatbelt and looked at him.

'See you tomorrow.'

He glanced at her, and then returned his gaze to the front window, his head bowing slightly.

'Maybe. I…have the investigation report to do.'

Valkyrie paused, and then nodded quickly. 'I'll see you…soon then.'

Skulduggery nodded at her. Valkyrie looked at him and kissed him quickly on the cheekbone. He snapped his head up. Valkyrie opened the door quickly.

'Bye.'

She walked quickly up the drive, trying to ignore the gaze at the back of her head as she opened the front door and let herself in. Skulduggery stared at the door and reluctantly started the engine. He was about to drive away, when he stopped himself. He cut the engine and sat back in his seat, not sure of what to do. Eventually he snarled at himself and opened the door to the Bentley. He paused in front of the house, and then knocked on the door. Valkyrie opened it, the confusion visible on her face when she saw an awkward looking skeleton on her door-step.

'Hello.'

'Hello.'

Skulduggery straightened his tie nervously.

'Can…can I come in?'

Valkyrie stepped sideways to let the skeleton in, and shut the door behind him and leaned against it. Skulduggery stood, hands in his pockets in the middle of the room.

'I'm sorry.'

Valkyrie folded her arms. 'I know.'

'It's just when you're so close to catching the killer, and then…and…'

Valkyrie nodded at him slowly. 'Right.'

'I mean, I'm sure you understand…'

'No, I don't Skulduggery, I don't get it.'

He cocked his head slightly at her. 'What do you mean?'

She sighed and stepped towards him.

'I mean, I don't get you sometimes. This could be so much easier if you just explain what Joey meant about you. But no, it just has to be difficult, doesn't it? You have to be so much better than everyone else and keep your feelings to yourself!'

'Stop it.'

'No, no I won't until you tell me what he meant properly.'

'I just…I can't do that…'

'And why not? It's too easy to say things how they are? You want to be the modest hero?' She threw her hands in the air. 'I give up with you, Skulduggery, I really have, and I just can't tell how you feel. I keep thinking that "yeah, he's in a good mood, you can talk to him," but, no because stuff like this happens too often!'

'Stop it right now Valkyrie Cain.'

'You're not my dad!'

He stepped closer towards her.

'I'm not saying this again, I'm not going to tell you what Joey meant. I'm not going to care anymore about you if you keep going, keep digging into me like this.'

'Like I care!'

'Well, you should, because you'd be dead without me.'

'That's not true.'

'Yes it is, Stephanie Edgley, and you know it, so you cannot say anything about me in that way!'

'Yes I can, because people didn't die because of me!'

Skulduggery stiffened.

'How dare you…'

'Why, did that hurt, talking about your precious wife?'

Skulduggery roared and hit Valkyrie around the face with a gloved hand. She gasped and fell to the ground beneath her. Skulduggery stepped back and stared down at his hands, and then brought them to where his face would be.

'Oh my god, I really, really, didn't mean to do that...'

Valkyrie looked up at him, letting a tear fall to the ground, shaking.

'You hit me…'

He knelt down next to her, putting one hand on her shoulder.

'I know, and I am so, so sorry, I didn't mean to do that…'

She pulled away from him.

'Yes you did.'

'I really, really, didn't.'

'Get out of my house right now.'

Skulduggery hesitated, and then stood up and left. Valkyrie heard the door shut behind her, then the Bentleys engine start up. She let her tears fall to the ground, her lungs gasping for air as she sobbed loudly.

Skulduggery drove out of the drive-way and parked at the nearest possible place. He slumped down in his seat, running his hands across the front of his skull. He hated himself, not just because he hit her, but because of all those things that Valkyrie said couldn't be more accurate. He felt like a complete monster, a beast, for hitting her. He sighed and felt himself on the brink of crying, on the brink of bursting into those invisible tears. He let his head lean against the window shaking his head slowly.

Valkyrie opened her eyes quickly, feeling an absolute pig. _No wonder he hit me, saying all that stuff about his wife. _She stood up and bolted out of the door, slamming it behind her.

Skulduggery woke up slowly from meditating to the sound of running footsteps. He looked out of the window, and then adjusted the rear-view mirror, to see a dark haired 19-year old running towards him. Valkyrie Cain panted for breath, as she yanked open the passenger door, and before he could say anything, she had let herself in next to him.

'We've both been idiots, haven't we?'

Skulduggery straightened his hat. 'Um…'

'I'm sorry for being so horrible to you.'

'And…I'm sorry for…hitting…'

She smiled at him and rested her head on his shoulder.

'I know.'

He looked at her, awkwardly, and then relaxed and held one of her hands.

'Until the end?'

Valkyrie closed her eyes and smiled.

'Until the end.'


	24. Help part 1

**Just so you know, Valkyrie's about 20-ish in my fanfictions now.**

* * *

The front door bell of Gordon's mansion rang. Valkyrie looked up from the book she was reading, bit her lip, and walked over to the door. Skulduggery looked up at her, hands in his pockets, when she opened the door.

'You wanted to see me.'

'Yes, hello, I did.'

'Is everything alright, Val? You sounded very...I don't know...distant over the phone.'

She smiled vaguely and stepped aside to let him in, closing the door behind them. Skulduggery stood in the centre of the room, head tilted.

'What is it?'

Valkyrie hesitated, and then nodded to a chair.

'Shall we sit down?'

Skulduggery did as he was told, sitting down on the black leather sofa. She sat down next to him, swallowed, and took a deep breath.

'When...Fletcher left...'

'Mm?' She looked at him.

'I didn't...realise...that...that I...' Skulduggery leaned towards her slightly.

'Go on.' She breathed a sigh and looked at his hands.

'I'm pregnant.'


	25. Help part 2

**Detedicated to the two Imogens, for absolutely no reason.**

* * *

'What!' He stood up quickly.

'I know.'

'You're pregnant, with Fletchers baby.'

'Yes.'

'Why didn't you tell me this before?' She rolled her eyes sadly.

'Well, it wasn't exactly planned.' Skulduggery was about to say something, and then stopped.

'...A mistake?'

'Yeah...' He sat back down next to her and buried his face in one of his hands.

'Oh Val.'

'I know, and I...I can't do...do this...' Skulduggery looked up at her to see her face lined with tears. He quickly pulled her into a hug as she sobbed loudly into his shoulder.

'Have you tried contacting Fletcher?'

'Of course, but like...like he cares...'

'I see.'

'Uh, and there's something else...since you're the god-father to this baby, I'd like you to become...its dad.' Skulduggery broke apart from her and put his hands on her shoulders.

'You want me to be a father to your child?' She smiled tiredly at him.

'Yeah, if...that's alright?' He hesitated, and then nodded slowly.

'I...would be honoured.'

She smiled again, falling into his arms with exhaustion. Skulduggery looked down at her, embarrassed. And then he heard Valkyrie breathing heavily, asleep. He sighed and wrapped his arms around the slumbering Valkyrie.


	26. Help part 3

Valkyrie leaned against her fireplace when her phone beeped. Her first scan was due today. She bit her lip and called Skulduggery.

'Hello?'

'It's Valkyrie.'

'I know, I recognise your voice.'

'It's...my first scan today.'

'Right.'

'And, since you're, you know, going to help me through this, then would you like to come with me?'

The sound of a pencil falling to the floor could be heard.

'...Skul?'

'Yep, hang on...' He covered the receiver with his hand, and laughed in delight. He put the phone back to his 'ear', taking his hand away.

'Okay, that's done.'

'So, are you coming?'

'If that's okay.'

'Of course it is, I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't-I'll see you in the hospital then.' She pressed the 'end call' button, and squealed in happiness.

The Bentley pulled up in a parking space. Valkyrie looked up from her phone and smiled as Skulduggery walked up to her. His facade had light brown, slightly shaggy hair; deep brown eyes and stubble.

'Good morning.'

'Hey.'

He stood in front of her, his eyes slightly concerned.

'Are you OK?' She bit her lip.

'I...don't know.'

He raised his eyebrows slightly, one hand resting on her shoulder, making her blush.

'Valkyrie, of course you're going to be worried, or even scared about seeing your child for the first time-if it's any consilation, I'm not going anywhere.'

She took a deep breath.

'Thanks.'

He smiled and turned to the hospital.

'Ready?'

'Yeah.'

'Well,' he directed her to the hospital entrance, 'at least one of us is.'

Valkyrie lay flat on her back on the hospital bed, Skulduggery standing next to her. Nurse Sandra Haplins switched on the scanner and lifted up Valkyries top.

'Righty-ho, let's see this baby then.' She said. Nurse Sandra rubbed on the ultra-sound gel onto Valkyries stomach, making her jump slightly.

'Wow, that's cold.' She said, making Skulduggery smirk. Sandra smiled vaguely and unhooked the scanner, switching on the machine and placing the scanner onto Valkyrie.

A blurred black and white image swam into focus onto the screen. Valkyrie blinked as the image of a baby on its side focused onto the screen.

'That's...'

Skulduggery leaned in closer and laughed airily.

'That's so...' He sat down next to her, '...that's your baby!'

Valkyrie's eyes shone brightly as she stared at the scan. She turned her head towards Skulduggerys awe-struck face.

'It's our baby.' Skulduggerys eyes flickered to her. He smiled and slipped his hand into hers.

'If you choose me to be.' Valkyrie smiled back at him.

'Yes.'

Skulduggery smiled a proper-boys grin and looked back at the scanner, as did Valkyrie.


	27. Heart's Desire

**Note-Things get a bit steamy around three quaters of the way through!**

* * *

'The Siren- This creature takes up an image of any living being to manipulate others, tricking them into whatever fate the Siren may decide. The Siren can shape-shift down to the last detail-even their voice.' Valkyrie Cain looked up from the article she was reading aloud.

'What's this got to do with anything?' She asked. Skulduggery Pleasant uncrossed his arms and walked over to where she was sitting.

'It has everything to do with anything.' He dropped a blue file onto his desk. Valkyrie looked at it and picked it up.

'What's this?'

'It's our investigation brief.' She nodded and opened it.

'Investigation number 1-7-3, to detectives S. Pleasant and V. Cain.

'Five disappearances of five different mages have occurred recently, all of them revolving around an old, derelict manor house; title unknown. A recent theory, and most probable, is the theory of a Siren trapped there, confused.' Valkyrie looked at Skulduggery.

'So, basically all we have to do is drive out this Siren thing…but what I don't get is; why are people disappearing when they enter this house and see the Siren?' he nodded.

'Next page.' She flicked over to the next page and carried on reading.

'It seems the Siren is blaming mages for her capture, and in revenge is tricking mages who enter into seeing their hearts desire.' Valkyrie frowned slightly.

'As soon as the Siren sees a mage enter the house and go into a certain room, the Siren shall shape-shift into their hearts desire, imprisoning them into their abode.' Skulduggery explained.

'…And we're going into this place?'

'Yes.'

'But the Siren will come and taunt me with my heart's desire!' Skulduggery shrugged.

'It's nothing we can't handle.' Valkyrie rolled her eyes.

'Fine.' She stood up, paused, and looked at him.

'What is your heart's desire?'

'I…don't know.'

'Me neither, this Siren must be physic if it knows people's hearts desires.'

'Indeed.' They looked at each other and nodded awkwardly.

The Sirens newly acquired home reeked of a thousand sad stories. Cobwebs, darkness, silence and ancient, dusty furniture was a regular sight.

Skulduggery and Valkyrie entered the manor, Skulduggerys gun firmly in his hand. Valkyrie blinked.

'I can't see a thing!' She said. He nodded and waited a few seconds for her eyes to adjust.

'Can you see now?'

'Just.' They walked slowly forward, floorboards creaking under each step. A sing-song wail quietly sang out above them. Skulduggery and Valkyrie looked up to see where it came from.

'It knows we're here.' Skulduggery whispered.

'Well, if it tries to show me my heart's desire, I'll know it's a fake and rip its face off.'

'You'll probably not be able to tell if it's a fake or not. Sirens are more clever than you think- they have this…this invisible ring around them if you like, as soon as they step to close, they cloud your initial common sense.' Valkyrie sighed.

'What's it going to do if it finds one of us?' Skulduggery shook his skull.

'I don't know-kill you or trap you here or something else entirely.' She swallowed.

'Okay, well, as Freddie always said-'let's slip up gang.'.' Skulduggery smirked and nodded.

'Alright-just, you know, be careful.' Valkyrie grinned and carried on ahead of her, whilst Skulduggery walked cautiously up the wooden stairs.

Skulduggery wandered slowly across the upstairs corridor, gun in hand. He heard the sing-song wail again, not far off. He glanced in rooms, one at a time.

'Hello?' He called.

Silence.

Skulduggery hesitated, and opened the final door. Inside was a small, pitch-black room with no windows or doors or furniture. Slowly, he stepped inside, his gun not leaving his hand. Skulduggery heard someone whisper his name where his ear would be. He whipped round, gun raised.

'Hello?' A pinpoint of light from the roof pierced through onto the door. Someone laughed; a female's voice.

'Skulduggery…' Skulduggery looked at the pinpoint of light, seeing someone standing in front of him. He looked closer.

'Valkyrie?' She smiled. Skulduggery noticed that she was wearing a long, black, slim-fitting, very figure hugging backless dress, showing off her cleavage.

'Hello Skulduggery.' He shook his head.

'No, you're not the real Valkyrie, no.'

'Of course I am, who else would I be?'

'No, no, you're the Siren…' She stepped closer towards him. Immediately Skulduggerys doubt slipped away. He lowered his gun, dropping it back in its holster.

'Valkyrie…'

'Yes?'

'You look stunning today.' She placed two hands on his chest

'I have a secret.' He cocked his head.

'What is it?' She grabbed the front of Skulduggerys jacket, reeling him back against the wall, locking him into a kiss. Skulduggery gasped, but then his hands found their way to her waist.

'Skulduggery…' She breathed.

'Yes?'

'I am completely in love with you…' He held her face, pulling her back into the kiss.

'I love you too Valkyrie, so, so much.' He managed to say. Skulduggery felt her hands on his tie, tugging it off. He obliged and pulled it up, over his head. She unbuttoned his jacket; Skulduggery tore it off, deliriously happy.

'What the-'He broke away and looked up to see who said that. Valkyrie Cain was standing in the doorway letting the flame go out in her hand. Skulduggery stared at her.

'Valkyrie!' He looked back at the Valkyrie he was holding onto. She grinned coyly, and her features started to run like water, her body joining. Eventually, the water-like liquid rose up into the air, taking the shape of a silhouetted woman with ripples of water instead of legs. She gave a sing-song wail, and flitted through the open door. The real Valkyrie stared at Skulduggery.

'Was that the Siren posing as your heart's desire?' Skulduggerys jaw hung open, still in shock.

'I…I suppose so…'

'Who was it; I only saw the back of them.'

'I…I…' She ran up to him and smacked round the skull.

'God's sake! Where's your head?'

'Sorry, sorry.'

'Who was that? Who is your heart's desire?' Skulduggery hesitated.

'Well, this is going to be tricky…'


	28. Heart's Desire part 2

**NOTE-This one-shot contains mildly strong language and mature-ness.**

**Emotional music time!**

* * *

Valkyrie realised how Skulduggery was looking; his hat was on the floor, along with his tie and jacket, his collar sticking up awkwardly. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow.

'Well, whoever it was, it's kind of clear what your intentions were!' Skulduggery shook his head.

'She backed me up against the wall, I was a bit, um, testosterone-attacked.' She laughed and picked his jacket and tie off of the ground along with his hat, handing it to him.

'Thanks,' he said, swinging his tie back round his neck and adjusted his hat on his head.

'So, spill the beans, who was it?' Valkyrie asked, nudging his shoulder. Skulduggery shrugged on his jacket, buttoning it back up slowly.

'It doesn't matter.'

'No, tell me, who was it?' Skulduggery opened his mouth to protest, but then he heard that sing-song wail of the Siren. It flitted back into the room, and floated up to Valkyries shoulders. They both looked at it, as it gave a high-pitched laugh.

'Why don't you tell her, Skully?' The Siren said to Skulduggery, before turning to Valkyrie. 'Why don't you tell little Valkyrie Cain-y that it was her?' Valkyrie stared at Skulduggery.

'What!'

The Siren laughed and flitted out of the room once again.

'I…can explain.' Skulduggery stammered. Valkyries mind ticked, putting two together to make about forty-five.

'Your heart's desire…is to have sex with me!' Skulduggerys mouth dropped open.

'What? No!' Valkyrie snarled at him and stormed off.

Valkyrie walked quickly away from the house.

'Val!' Skulduggery ran after her.

'Stay away from me!' He caught up with her and grabbed her shoulder.

'Please, just listen to me…' Valkyrie turned round to look at him, batting his hand away.

'Get away, you pervert!' Skulduggery shook his head.

'No, no! Like I would ever think like that!'

'Well, why wouldn't you? All men are the bloody _same_!' He rolled his head back in frustration and grabbed Valkyries forearms.

'You've got it all wrong-I'd never, ever consider…' She pushed him away.

'Leave me alone, you bastard!'

'Please, for God's sake, just listen to me-'

'What, so you can tell me about all your other fantasies with me, or, ooh, maybe Tanith or China to your list?' She spun round and walked away, anger bubbling inside her. She got a few metres away, when she stopped walking. She turned round slowly, to see Skulduggery sitting on the pavement, slumped against the brick wall of the house, hat by his side.

Valkyrie hesitated, and walked slowly back towards him.

'S…Skul?' She said quietly. He didn't look up at her.

'…Maybe it's best if you_ do_ leave me, so I can stop pretending that it will all work out one day.' His voice was broken, like he was on the brink of crying. He laughed sadly.

'Valkyrie Cain-the one person who breathed this youthful, inquisitive life into this pile of bones in which I exist within.' He looked straight ahead, almost afraid to look at Valkyrie standing next to him.

'Before I met you, everything and anything didn't matter anymore-just pain and misery enveloped me…and then…' His shoulders shook as he started to cry.

'…And then I met this girl who seemed so full of life, and wonder. I didn't understand her at first, why she was so care-free and vibrant. And then, she, with her perfect smile and dark hair, she pulled me up, out of the darkness that consumed me for so long, and into this world where things could live and breathe once again.

'And she grew up, so quickly maturing into something so precious to me that she couldn't even begin to imagine…the Siren didn't give me my heart's desire, it was my heart's desire.' Skulduggery shook his head slowly.

'The one thing that I want more than anything in this life, is Valkyrie Cain to tell Skulduggery Pleasant that she loves him.' Valkyrie felt a tear running slowly down her cheek. Skulduggery sighed.

'I guess I got carried away with the Siren because, well, it's the closest I'm going to get to-' He stopped talking, sobbing quietly. Valkyrie stared at him, silent tears pouring down her face.

'You love me?' Skulduggery looked at his hands and nodded furiously. She frowned slightly.

'Why didn't you ever tell me?'

'How was I ever to predict how you would react if I did?' Valkyrie nodded, processing each chunk of information with another tear. She kneeled down in front of him.

'Look at me.' Skulduggery sighed and did as he was told. Valkyrie slipped her hand under his collar and activated his façade. His usual sandy, shaggy hair and dark eyes flowed over his skull, eyes glassy and cheeks stained with tears. Valkyrie cupped his face in her hands, smiling tearfully.

'You should have told me, we wouldn't be here if you did.' Skulduggerys eyes widened slightly.

'What?' He breathed. She sighed and pressed her forehead against his, eyes closed.

'Oh Skulduggery,' she whispered, 'you stupid man, you stupid, stupid man!' Skulduggery laughed tearfully, as Valkyrie carried on talking.

'If you told me, then I would have said exactly the same thing back to you…because I adore you more than you could ever imagine.' He opened his eyes to look at her with hopeful eyes.

'You…love me?' She nodded, hesitated, and kissed him gently. Fireworks exploded inside Skulduggerys mind, before Valkyrie parted from him. He blinked.

'This…this is real, isn't it?' She laughed and pulled him into a hug.

'Yes, yes it is, you bloody moron!' Skulduggery laughed.

'Yup, only the real Valkyrie Cain would insult me right after kissing me.' She smiled and nestled her face into his neck, breathing in that oh-so-familiar musty smell.

'…Until the end?' He smirked.

'Until the end.'


	29. Memories of living

**Deditated to my dad :3 **

**If you're interested, I have a new story, it's a crossover with Skulduggery and Prof. Layton. 3**

* * *

Valkyrie Cain jogged up the staircase of 1 Cemetery Road. She paused, and spun her head back round the way she came.

'What am I looking for again?' She called. Skulduggery poked his skull round one of the living room doors to look at her.

'My tie.'

'Right.'

'...The blue one.'

'Oh, okay.'

'...With the red points on it.'

'Um.'

'...With the end that's slightly frayed.'

'Why does it have to be that one?' His eye-sockets bore into her.

'Because. I like that one.' He said bluntly, like it was obvious. Valkyrie rolled her eyes and continued upstairs to his walk-in wardrobe.

Valkyrie wandered through Skulduggerys labyrinth of clothes, spotting a whole chest of drawers filled with ties. She laughed gently and opened the top draw, trying to find the specific tie.

'Have you found it yet?' She looked up to see Skulduggery leaning against the doorframe, arms folded.

'Give me a chance!' She said, opening the second drawer.

'Hurry up-I feel naked without a tie on.'

'If you're so impatient, you find it.' He cocked his head.

'You set fire to the one I was wearing this morning-you find it.' Valkyrie sighed.

'I said I'm sorry.' She found the tie she was looking for and tossed it to him. He caught it and swung it round his 'neck'.

'Thanks.'

'Is this chest of drawers completely full of just ties?'

'Pretty much.' Valkyrie opened the final drawer out of curiosity, and frowned slightly.

Photos. Some framed, some in thick papery wads. Most in a faded brown and yellow, some in pure black and white, few in colour.

'What's this?' Skulduggery hesitated, his voice slightly hollow.

'...Memories.'

'Of when you...'

'...Of when I was alive, yes.' Valkyrie nodded and pulled the drawer out completely, placing it heavily onto the floor, kneeling in front of it.

'Can I?' He waved a hand dismissively at the drawer.

'Of course.' She smiled and turned her attention back to the drawer, picking up the first picture. Faded brown and yellow, a small boy with seemingly dark hair wearing Victorian clothing. Standing next to him was a girl a little older than him in a petticoat.

'Is this...' Valkyrie began. Skulduggery walked over to where she was and kneeled down beside her.

'That's me and my older sister, Grace.'

'I never knew you had a sister.'

'She's long dead now-she died not long after her fifteenth birthday-Tuberculosis.'

'I'm sorry.' He shook his head.

'No, don't be-I never liked her much anyway.' Valkyrie smirked and set the picture aside, rifling through the pile. She picked out a black and white photo of a teenage boy with, again, seemingly dark hair and attractive features leaning against a wall wearing a school uniform.

'Is this you?' Skulduggery nodded. Again, Valkyrie set it aside and picked out another photo. This time it was a photo of around eight boys in their late teens, standing on the steps of a large building. Valkyries eyes narrowed at one of the teenagers faces.

'Is that...'

'Ghastly, yeah, the scars gave it away.' He pointed at each of the boys in turn, 'that's Ghastly, that's Erskine, that's someone called Walter Flame-Chaser, that's Cedric Vale, those are some people that I didn't know, and that,' he pointed at the last boy, who seemed the most good-looking, 'you know who this is.'

'Is it you?' He nodded. Valkyrie smiled at him and picked up another picture. This one was of a young man around twenty with his shirt off, leaning against a tree in a forest. Valkyrie stared at the man in the photo, trying not to blush of how good-looking he was.

'This is you!' Skulduggery tilted his head slightly.

'Why are you so surprised?' Valkyrie swallowed.

'Because you look...kind of...attractive.' He laughed.

'I was quite attractive back then, not anymore now, but-' She frowned.

'You are still attractive...in your own way.' Skulduggery smirked and patted her shoulder. Valkyrie looked closer at the background of the picture.

'That doesn't look like Ireland.'

'That's because it's not, it's England-I'm half English so we went to England often.' A question sparked in Valkyries mind.

'What's your name? Your given name, I mean.' Skulduggery hesitated.

'I better not tell you.' She sighed.

'Okay-what's your middle name?' He looked at her.

'Christopher.' She smiled gently at him, and returned to the photos.

'It suits you.'

'Thanks.'

Valkyrie picked up a picture framed in silver leaves. The photo was of a young man in a pale grey suit standing outside a church with a wide smile on his face. He was turned slightly towards the young woman he was standing next to him, holding hands securely. The young woman was wearing a long white wedding dress, the ends of it surrounding them both. Valkyries eyes widened and dropped the photo back into the drawer.

'I'm sorry.' Skulduggery shook his head.

'No, no it's okay,' He picked it up again slowly, gaze fixed on the woman. He stroked her smiling face affectionately with a skeletal finger.

'Your wedding.' Valkyrie said quietly. He nodded slightly, still looking at the photo.

'One of the best days of my life.' She frowned.

'_One _of the best days of your life?' Skulduggery looked at her.

'There's only one other one.'

'What?'

'The day I first met you.' Valkyrie blushed and smiled at him.

'Same.'

If Skulduggery had a mouth, it would be smiling back at her.


	30. Oh hell a cry for help from me

Okay, so so so sorry, this is not a new story, let me explain what this is...

Oh. Oh no. Oh damn.

I am well and truley stuck for ideas, and I have been for about...6 weeks I know don't kill me please. The reason why I kind of stopped writing one-shots is because I thought that no one was reading them anymore.

And then I get a notification saying that SABRINA FREAKIN' SPARROW AND SNEAKY LUNATIC SPY REVIEWED. Yes. I about died.

My initial reaction was 'Oh my god, this is amazing!' And then I thought, '...Oh hell.' Because I hadn't been writing any one-shots since the dinosaurs roamed the earth, and, this is basically my cry for help.

**HELP. I NEEEED REQUESTS BEFORE I KILL SOMEONE. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!**

Love you guys,

Rhiannon

aka. tomatoesonstrings


	31. Two Valkyries

**Thank-you all so much to the people who gave me ideas for one-shots! ? Sneaky Lunatic Spy gave me this idea, along with an anonymouse person (lol), so I squished the two ideas together to make this thing.**

**Oh, and I have a new cross-over story featuring Skulduggery and Sherlock Holmes :D By all means, check it out, it's not done yet, but the first chapter is up :)**

* * *

Skulduggerys head hurt. He groaned himself awake slowly, and then realised that he was standing upright, hands and arms chained to a cold stone wall. He eyed his surroundings carefully; cold, dank seemingly empty cell and, judging by the damp smell of earth, deep underground.

'Hello?' He called out to the darkness.

Nothing.

He snarled quietly in frustration; he needed to hear something, anything, to put his mind at ease.

'Is anyone there?' He called out, a tinge of desperation in his voice.

And then he heard a laugh. A laugh that was oh-so-familiar to him.

'...Va-Valkyrie?' Skulduggery said to the nothing-ness. He heard a slight smirk, and a young woman in her 20's with dark eyes and hair stepped out of the blackness. She smiled icily.

'Hello Detective Pleasant.' She said calmly, producing Billy-Ray Sanguine's razor out of her coat pocket.

'What the hell are you doing?'

'Well, why not? You, with your stupid puns, and skeletal features...you have no reason to live anymore, dead man.'

'What are you talking about? It's me, Skulduggery!'

'Oh, I know. I know who you are, and how much you need to die.' Skulduggery struggled in his chains, starting to panic.

'Val! For god's sake!' She pressed the razor against his cheekbone.

'Sh, now Mr Pleasant.' Skulduggery gasped slightly and stopped struggling. His panic had now turned to terror.

'Please, Valkyrie, you don't want to do this, whatever has happened to you-'

'Shut. Up.' She said slowly, her voice dropping to a menacing whisper, and dragged the razor down across his ribcage. It severed its way through his suit and sliced across three of his ribs. Skulduggery screamed and writhed in agony.

'STOP IT!' He poured out.

'No.' she said simply, before dragging the razor across his right arm in slow circles. Skulduggery screamed again invisible tears threatening to pour down his cheekbones, his impossible breathes coming quicker and shallower.

'Please...please...' Was all he managed to say.

'Don't cry now, you corpse.' She said coolly.

And that's when a second Valkyrie Cain stepped out of the darkness and sent a fireball in the others direction.

Skulduggery watched in silent disbelief, as the Valkyries fought amongst each other, one unable to use magic, the other using all magic available to her. Eventually, the magical Valkyrie was gripping the front of the other ones top, pushing her against the wall.

'If you don't get out right this second, Stephanie Edgley, I will kill you!' She hissed. The non-magical Valkyries squirmed within her grip.

'Let go of me!' The magical Valkyrie pushed her face right up against the double she was holding onto, snarling.

'Get back in the mirror.' The non-magical Valkyrie paled, and nodded obediently.

'Yes.' She said quietly, slinking off. Skulduggery stared at the Valkyrie left in the room.

'...Valkyrie?' she looked at him.

'Yes, I'm the real Valkyrie.' He nodded slowly.

'That was-'

'-My reflection,' she hesitated, and walked up to him, 'are you okay?'

'If you wouldn't mind untying me first, and then we'll talk.' She smiled gently, and opened the shackles at his wrists. He let his arms drop and stepped towards her, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug.

'Ee-ug!' Valkyrie squeaked out, cut off from oxygen.

'Thank-you so much!'

'Skul...'

'I could have died, and you saved me!'

'Skul, um-'

'I mean, I'm already dead, but I could've died again, and didn't because you saved me!'

'Skulduggery, I can't breathe.'

'Sorry?'

'I need to breathe, Skulduggery, and you're physically crushing me!'

'...Oh. Right.' He said quietly, and let go of her.

'Thanks.' They looked at each other, not really sure what to say.

'So...how did you know that I was here?' Skulduggery asked eventually.

'The reflection disappeared, you weren't home, Ghastly saw a replica of me dragging a skeleton in a suit down some stairs leading underground, and, well, here I am.'

'I see.' He hesitated, and put his hands on her shoulders. Valkyrie blushed.

'You saved me.' He said in an almost whisper.

'I did.'

'I...I just can't even begin to thank you enough.'

'It's okay.'

'How can I repay you?' Valkyrie bit her lip and hesitated.

'Um...'

'Anything at all.' She looked at him.

'Absolutely anything?'

'...Yes...' He said slowly.

'Stand there.'

'Um, okay.'

'And close your eyes.' He tilted his head at her.

'...Okaaay.'

'...Are they closed yet?'

'Yes.'

'You sure?'

'Yes, Valkyrie.' She looked into his eye-sockets, her eyes dancing from one to the other. And then she wrapped her arms around the skeletons neck and kissed him. She heard him grunt in surprise, but then felt his fingers run through her hair. She parted from him and smiled.

'...Wow.' He said quietly.

'I know.'

'That was...unexpected.'

'It was, I didn't even think that I was going to do that.'

'I'm guessing that-'

'-I love you; yeah.' Skulduggery held one of her hands gently.

'Thank god for that.' Her smile turned into a grin, as she leaned in to hug him again.


	32. Broken part 1

Skulduggery knew why he had left Ireland. He didn't tell anyone where or why or even that he was going; he just had to. He never intended to go for quite so long, but things escalated, and he ended up staying away for three long years.

And now it was time for him to come back.

Skulduggery Pleasant arrived home from his travels, flopping back in his now dusty armchair, smiling in his skull. I'm home, he thought. He checked his phone, not surprised to the amount of missed calls and messages from various people. He called Ghastly first.

No answer.

Skulduggery tilted his head slightly at the phone. Odd, he thought. He tried to call Valkyrie, and got the same silent answer. Panicking slightly, he called the Sanctuary. He sighed in relief when the administrator answered.

'Hello?'

'It's Skulduggery Pleasant.'

'...You're back?'

'I am-I was just wandering if you've heard anything from Valkyrie Cain recently?' There was silence at the other end of the phone.

'Oh.'

'What? Where is she?'

'Mr Pleasant, I suggest that you get here as soon as possible.'

'Why?'

'Please.' The phone went silent. Fearing the absolute worst, Skulduggery got to his feet sharply, practically running to the Bentley.

Skulduggery walked through the Sanctuary quickly, his mind buzzing with a thousand scenarios of what could have happened to Valkyrie Cain whilst he was gone. He marched up to the administrator.

'Where is she?' He asked immediately. The administrator looked up at him, and nodded.

'...You really don't know, do you?'

'Where is she!' Skulduggery almost yelled. The administrator bit his lip.

'...She's in the Sanctuary's asylum.' Skulduggery stared at him.

'...What did you say?'

'After you left, she couldn't live without you, she couldn't cope without you-she went mad.' The skeleton shook his head ever-so slightly.

'I want to see her.' He said quietly.

'I don't think that's-'

'I want, to see her.' Skulduggery said slowly. The administrator hesitated, and then nodded.

'If you wish.'

The asylum was filled with hundreds of crazed screams and tears of its inmates. Skulduggery and the administrator walked past cell after cell, ignoring the pleas to be let out. They got to the final cell, cut off from the others. The administrator nodded at it.

'There she is.' He said. Skulduggery looked at him, nodded, and approached the bars to see someone behind them on the floor with their back to him. Her hair was long, dark and matted, her clothes hanging off her loosely, like she was too thin for them. She was rocking back and forth, whispering to herself.

'Skulduggery fought on the 'good' side under the wizard Meritorious during the secret war. As one of generals but was caught in a deadly trap by Nefrian Serpine where he killed Skulduggery's wife and child in front of him. Then poisoning the dagger that Skulduggery picked up. Then After his death, his body was placed on a spike and the spike was burned as an example to Mevolent's other enemies. Skulduggery did not move on after his death but stayed on and watched the war progress; to his horror, the tide turned and Mevolent gained advantage.' She muttered to herself quietly at a lightning pace. Skulduggery leaned against the cell bars, gazing at the walls surrounding her; each one coated with quotes of things that he said. The administrator stood next to Skulduggery, looking at the young woman.

'Miss Cain.' She didn't move, and carried on chanting a dozen facts about the skeleton detective. 'You have a visitor.' She stopped chanting and rocking back and forth.

'Visitor. Yes-visitors are good. They bring life, they help, they mend, they tell me this, but I don't like them. I don't like their voices. Their voices are not his voice; their voices are not his voice.'

'Now, Miss Cain, remember your manners.'

'Manners don't need to be remembered-they just need to be re-applied,' she smiled, 'he would have said something like that.' The administrator sighed.

'Is it okay if the visitor comes in to see you?'

'Mm.' The administrator nodded and turned to Skulduggery.

'Be careful-she can be aggressive.' He said, and unlocked the cell door, pushing it open with difficulty. Skulduggery stepped inside, as the administrator closed it behind him, 'I'll come back in around twenty minutes.' The administrator said, and left. Skulduggery looked at the young woman on the floor and walked slowly towards her, stopping not far off from her back.


	33. Broken part 2

**Emotional music would be appropritate here...**

* * *

'Hello.' Valkyrie said flatly, not seeing who he was. Skulduggery slipped his hands in his pockets.

'Hello Valkyrie Cain.' He said quietly.

Valkyrie opened her eyes. She stood up slowly, her back still to him.

'I'm dreaming.'

'You're not, trust me.' She snarled.

'Yes I am!' She shouted, spinning round, fists clenched. Skulduggery quickly gripped onto her wrists, she staggered slightly, but he steadied her. Valkyrie looked up at him slowly.

'You...' She whispered.

'I'm here.' She blinked, her hand reaching up to his skull, her fingers tracing his cheekbones. She took one of his hands, hesitated, and pulled his glove off to reveal his white, skeletal fingers. Valkyries breathing shuddered like she was about to cry.

'You're...' She chewed on her lip, 'Sku...Skul...'

'That's it.' Her eyes brimmed with tears.

'You're...Skulduggery Pleasant.'

'Hello.' Her eyebrows knotted together, and she burst into tears. Skulduggery sighed affectionately and pulled her into a hug.

'It's okay, it's okay, I'm here now.' He cooed. She sobbed loudly into his suit.

'You left me!'

'I know, and I am so, so sorry.'

'Why did you go?'

'I had to-I just had to get out of Ireland.'

'Why didn't you take me with you?' She poured out, burying her face in the lapels of his jacket.

'I just...I...' He sighed, not willing to tell her whilst she was in such a state, 'so, how did you end up here?'

'Because of you...when you left...when you...' She choked on her tears. Skulduggery fished out a handkerchief from his breast pocket and handed it to her. She took it, drying her eyes delicately.

'I'm back now.' He said. She looked at him.

'Don't leave me ever again, not again, no no no.'

'I won't, and now I realise just how stupid I was to leave without telling anyone.' The cell door creaked open slowly, as the administrator stood beside it.

'Mr Pleasant.' Skulduggery looked up at him.

'But-'

'Rules are rules; twenty minutes and then that's it.' The skeleton looked into Valkyries wide, glassy eyes.

'I can't leave her.' He said quietly.

'I'm sorry, you have to.' Valkyrie looked up at him.

'Go.' Skulduggery tilted his head at her.

'Sorry?'

'Go, you go home and come back tomorrow and see me and, and I'll see you.'

'I can't leave you here in this hell-hole.'

'Then I'll try and get better for you.' He smirked.

'There's no rush.' Valkyrie smiled emptily.

'As long as you're here, I'll always be well.' Skulduggery sounded like he was choking back tears. He nodded quickly.

'I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?' He said shakily, and quickly walked out of the cell and leaned against the wall outside it, rubbing the front of his skull with his hands in an attempt to stop crying.


	34. Broken part 3

**So sorry I haven't updated in a while-I've had exams all week :( **

**I am now obsessed with Emilie Autumn. She's just legend.**

* * *

'She's not mad!' Skulduggery barked at the asylums' doctor, looming over his desk.

'Valkyrie Cain is under a serious state of depression Mr Pleasant, and we must respect that.'

'But the reason why she was depressed is because of me! I am here now, and just look at the recovery she's made.'

'I understand that but-'

'-But what? What's the point of keeping her here when she can't get any better without me to help her?' The doctor sighed tiredly and adjusted his glasses.

'We can't just halt the procedures just because you're back, sir.' Skulduggery slammed his hands down on the desk heavily.

'Are you listening! Staying here is just going to make her worse!'

'How so?'

'Look at what she's surrounded in, look at her cell-that is only going to remind her of how horrific things once were for her.'

'...Since she has made a rapid recovery in the past weeks, I'll consider sending her to a psychiatric ward, but not home; she won't be able to look after herself.' Skulduggery slowly leaned away from the desk and dug his hands in his pockets, dipping his skull downwards slightly. And then a sudden though dawned on him. He raised his head slowly.

'What if she came to live with me?' He said quietly. The doctor looked at him.

'I'm sorry?'

'What if she came to live with me-what if I looked after her?'

'...Looking after someone with severe depression is incredibly difficult, draining and stressful.'

'I'm sure I'll cope.'

'I am more than happy to see her off to somewhere that could help her, but it's not as easy as just providing her with food.'

'I know.'

'Potentially, looking after Miss Cain would be like raising a child.'

'I have knowledge of that kind of thing-I have been a father.'

'I know, but this will mean that you would have to be 100% dedicated to being with her.' Skulduggery nodded slowly.

'I was anyway.' He murmured.

The days ticked by, and after several medical examinations, Skulduggery was now the new carer of Valkyrie Cain.

Skulduggery opened Valkyries cell door to find her etching out the lyrics to Emilie Autumns 'Liar' onto the cell walls, singing the lyrics quietly to herself as she did so.

'Hello.' He said. She dropped her pencil. It clattered noisily to the ground, as she stopped singing.

'Back. You came back late. But you came back, not like last time, not like...' She lost track of her sentence, running a hand through her matted hair.

'Sorry, I wasn't able to see you apparently, according to that stupid doctor of yours.' He explained. She gave a small murmur of agreement, and walked around the perimeter of the cell, running her hand across each wall, repeating each word sprawled out across it.

'I don't like the doctor. He lies, liar, liar, liar-' She repeated to no one in particular. Skulduggery sighed gently and walked up to her.

'You won't have to see him again.' She looked up at him.

'I don't understand.'

'I'm taking custody of you. You're coming to live with me.' Valkyrie tilted her head, and chewed on her lip.

'You...Skulduggery...I, um...' She walked slowly around her cell, running her hand through her hair. Skulduggery looked at her.

'Is that alright with you?'

'Living with you, you looking after me, I'd be away from the doctors; I'd be away from the asylum...' She gave him a vacant look, and hugged him. He laughed gently and patted her back comfortingly.

'Aw! You are okay with that?' He asked. She nodded furiously.

'I'd like that.'


	35. Trading Yesterday: Shattered

_Yesterday I died, _

_Tomorrows bleeding,_

_Falling into your sunlight,_

_The future open wide,_

_Beyond believing,_

_To know why hope dies._

Valkyrie wandered around her bedroom in small lazy circles, biting her nails. She knew that she was thinking of something, of someone, but she just couldn't figure out why. He had settled in her thoughts and refused to leave her.

_Losing what was found, a world so hollow, _

_Suspended in a compromise, _

_The silence of this sound is soon to follow, _

_Somehow sundown._

Skulduggery sat at his desk staring into space, his thoughts elsewhere. He couldn't figure why her voice, her features, her essence followed his mind wherever he went nowadays.

_And finding answers, _

_Is forgetting all of the questions we call home, _

_Passing the graves of the unknown_.

Valkyrie couldn't settle. As soon as she sat down, she felt her mind whirring even faster, escaping even quicker to his arms where she so, so wanted to be right now for a reason she couldn't decipher.

_As reason clouds my eyes, with splendour fading, _

_Illusions of the sunlight, _

_And the reflection of a lie will keep me waiting, _

_Love gone for so long. _

The skeleton stood up slowly, digging his hands into his pockets, knowing that it would be impossible to get any work done when his thoughts were elsewhere. Lost with someone he needed to hold, someone who he needed to belong with. He silently told himself off, reason keeping him from running to see her now.

_This day's ending is the proof of time killing all the faith I know, _

_Knowing that faith is all I hold. _

Valkyrie felt the tears stinging her eyes as she fell purposefully onto her bed, sighing. She cupped her face in her hands, figuring out why her thoughts were captured, were lost, with another. It was because she had fallen in love with him. She had fallen impossibly deeply in love with someone who she couldn't possibly love.

_And I've lost who I am, _

_And I can't understand, _

_Why my heart is so broken, _

_Rejecting your love,_

_Without love gone wrong, _

_Lifeless words, _

_Carry on._

Skulduggery sighed quietly, whispering her name to himself. He shook his skull, telling himself that this is impossible, wrong, false. He looked at the mirror hanging on his wall, staring at the skeleton depicted in front of him.

_But I know, _

_All I know, _

_Is that the end's beginning._

Valkyrie breathed deeply, trying to stop the tears running. She looked at the framed picture of her darling that she kept by her bed, imagining herself standing next to him, holding his hand, leaning on his shoulder. She focused on her reflection in the glass, looking at the plain, tearful, ordinary 22 year old looking back at her.

_Who I am from the start, _

_Take me home to my heart, _

_Let me go, _

_And I will run, _

_I will not be silenced._

Skulduggery sighed and closed his 'eyes', dipping his skull. He told the skeleton in the mirror what he wanted to tell her. It was hurting him, tearing his imaginary heart in two halves. It shouldn't be this hard, he told himself, you either tell her or you don't. He shook his head to himself, I can't do this.

_All this time spent in vain, _

_Wasted years, _

_Wasted gain, _

_All is lost, _

_Hope remains, _

_And this war's not over. _

The tears poured out of Valkyries dark eyes, refusing to admit defeat. She ached inside, aching to tell him about what these feelings meant for her. Hugging a cushion to her chest, she imagined him by her side, his arms around her, hugging her close.

Skulduggery opened his 'eyes', slowly looking up at his reflection, his thoughts becoming a field of determination. He hated himself for being a skeleton, for being a coward...for falling in love with her.

_There's a light, _

_There's the sun, _

_Taking all the shattered ones, _

_To the place we belong, _

_And his love will conquer. _

He snarled, and punched the mirror. His reflection smashed into a thousand pieces, falling to the ground at his feet. He grabbed his car keys and bolted out of the front door to the Bentley.

Valkyrie frowned to herself and sat up, wiping her eyes. She looked out of the window, to see Skulduggery Pleasants' car braking in her driveway. She blinked and broke into a tearful smile when Skulduggery jumped out of the car at lightning speed, running to her door. Her smile turned into a grin, and she ran downstairs to get to the door first. Skulduggery had barely raised his hand to knock on the door, when Valkyrie opened it. She couldn't stop herself, and found herself falling into his arms. Skulduggery sighed affectionately at her and hugged her back. He couldn't hold back any longer; he buried his skull into her hair.

'I love you,' he breathed shakily, 'oh God Valkyrie, I love you so, so much.' He heard her gasp.

'How long have I waited for you to say that?'

'I'm sorry.' She shook her head and looked up at him.

'Don't be...' He looked at her, leaned forward almost shyly, and kissed her. She let the fireworks in her mind explode, wrapping her arms around his neck. He parted and looked at her.

'My perfect Valkyrie Cain.' He whispered.

'Not everyone is going to agree to this.' She said.

'I understand.'

'We don't know what we might have started.' He sighed and pressed his forehead against hers.

'My love will conquer.'


	36. Dare

**It's been a while, sorry, I had exams and stupid stuff like that.**

* * *

Skulduggery Pleasant walked through the late Gordon Edgleys mansion, trying to find Valkyrie in the maze of corridors. He heard a chorus of laughs, and followed it to find Valkyrie, Fletcher, Ghastly, Tanith, Erskine and China in a circle on the floor, an empty wine bottle in the centre.

Skulduggery leaned against the doorframe, arms folded.

'Well, you're all obviously drunk.' Valkyrie looked up at him.

'It's my 22nd birthday, they're allowed.'

He shrugged.

'What are you all doing?' Tanith looked at him and grinned.

'Snog spin!' She slurred, swallowing down the last of her drink. Skulduggery tilted his head slightly.

'What's that?'

'Well, you spin a bottle, and whoever it lands on, you have to kiss.' Ghastly explained, 'you joining in?'

'No.' Skulduggery replied. Valkyrie frowned.

'Yes you are.'

'I really can't-'

'Pleeeeeeaase? It is my birthday.' He hesitated, and sighed.

'Fine.' He said quietly, sitting himself on the floor next to Ghastly. Tanith nodded and looked at China.

'It's your go!' She sang, giving the bottle a sharp spin. After a few turns, it came to a slow stop, pointing at Erskine. He and China looked at each other.

'Shall we?' She cooed.

He swallowed. 'Very well.' China shuffled towards him, kissing him gently. The rest of them clapped and whooped in delight, as China parted finally and scooted back towards her place in the circle.

'You two would make a good couple!' Valkyrie remarked.

'We would.' Erskine said, a little dazed.

'My go!' Fletcher piped up, spinning the bottle. It passed each person, before stopping directly in front...of Skulduggery. They stared at each other.

'Spin again.' The skeleton said quickly. Tanith let out a breathy '_ooh_.'

'Can you not handle it Skully?' He ground his teeth together.

'No, I just-'

'Are you not man enough?'

'But I-'

'Oh dear, poor Skul can't handle it!'

'Yes I can!'

'Prove it.' Skulduggery looked at her, looked at the bottle, and then at Fletcher. He sighed and stood up on his knees, as did Fletcher.

'So...'

'So...' Skulduggery shook his skull slightly.

'I am so going to regret this.' He said, before grabbing Fletchers face and pulling it towards his, kissing him squarely on the mouth. The rest of them cheered even louder than before, squealing and clapping. Skulduggery hung on for as long as he could cope, before pushing Fletcher away, almost falling over in the process. The cheering continued, as Skulduggery straightened his tie and nodded to himself.

'I need a bloody drink.' He said huskily, Fletcher sniffed and handed him a bottle of beer. He took it and activated his facade, downing the contents in one go.

'Whoa; take it easy!' Ghastly said. Skulduggery dropped the empty bottle by his side.

'I have no regrets.'

'Ghastly, it's your go.' Erskine said. He nodded and span the bottle. It slowed; pointing at Tanith. He looked at her and blushed.

'Um, Tanith?' She looked at him.

'Ya?' He pointed at the bottle.

'It's you and me.' She looked at the bottle and her eyes widened in realization.

'Oh! Right!' She said.

'So, are we-?'

'Sure!' She shuffled over to him. He hesitated.

'I...'

'Come on! Kissy-kissy!' She squealed, leaning towards him, eyes closed, lips puckered. He sighed, and kissed her quickly. She giggled, yawned, and passed out. He blinked his eyes open and swallowed visibly, cradling her in his arms.

'Right.' He said quietly, picking her up and resting her on the sofa.

'I should...um...' He said, not really sure what to do. He looked at her, smiled slightly, and brushed some loose hair behind her ear. Fletcher coughed loudly. Ghastly jumped slightly.

'Are we disturbing anything?' Fletcher asked. Ghastly shook his head.

'No, not at all.' He muttered, before turning to him.

'I better get going.'

Valkyrie frowned.

'Why?'

'I should be, um, making dresses.'

'No, please stay.'

'I can't-I have to get going.'

'Please-one more spin?' He sighed and nodded.

'Okay, hurry up then.' He agreed, sitting back down in the circle.

'My go!' Valkyrie said, spinning the bottle. It passed each person at lightning speed, before coming to a slow stop, in front of Skulduggery Pleasant. They looked at each other. Valkyries mouth went dry.

'Oh.'

'Mm.' China looked at them.

'Well go on then!' He hesitated.

'I...I...'

'What are you waiting for?' Erskine said.

'I don't think-'

'Go on!' Skulduggery looked back at Valkyrie, sighed inwardly and stood up, walking out of the room. He kept walking till he reached outside. He breathed in the cold night air, hands clasped together in front of his mouth, deep in thought.

'Skulduggery!' He heard Valkyrie call, her footsteps nearing him outside. He shook his head and walked towards the Bentley, hands slipping into his pockets. He heard Valkyrie running after him. 'Slow down!' He stopped walking, still with his back to her.

'Sorry; I need to go.'

'You don't have to kiss me if you don't want to.' He whipped round to look at her.

'Of course i do,' he said huskily, 'I just can't bring myself to.'

'...What do you mean?'

'I mean I love you, I adore you, I-' He bit his lip and turned away, walking towards the Bentley once more. Valkyrie sighed.

'If you love me, then let me love you back!' Skulduggery stopped in his tracks, slowly turning towards her.

'What?' She walked towards him, inches away.

'I love you too, Skulduggery.' He looked into her eyes, his face a mask of seriousness.

'You're drunk, you don't mean it.'

'I haven't had anything to drink, and you've only had one beer; we both know what we're saying and we're meaning it.'

'But I'm a ske-'

'Does it matter to me? Has it ever mattered to me?'

'No, but-'

'Then just give in to yourself-if this is my birthday party, then I dare you, I dare you Skulduggery Pleasant, to love me.' He stared at her, a small smile growing slowly on his face.

'How can I say no to that?' He said, leaning forward and kissing her gently, the kiss that the two of them had been waiting for for far too long. They parted, Skulduggery holding her close.

'Happy birthday, Valkyrie Cain.' Sh smiled and rested her head on his chest.

'Thank you.'


	37. Boredom

Valkyrie slumped back in Skulduggerys sofa. 'So. Bored!'

The skeleton didn't look up from his newspaper.

'Deal with it.' She rolled her eyes at him.

'Useful.'

'Aren't I just? Why _are_ you at my house anyway?'

'Well, like I said; I'm bored and I thought you might be kind enough to entertain me.'

'Remind me-how old are you?'

'Twenty-two.'

'There you go-you shouldn't need other people to entertain you still.'

'Tough. I'm different from any other girl.'

_Got that right_, Skulduggery thought and carried on reading.

The minutes ticked by slowly. Valkyrie got tired of staring into space and rested her head in her hand, elbow on her leg.

'So.'

'Are you _still_ bored?' Skulduggery asked. She nodded.

'Of course.'

'Well, go and entertain yourself then.'

'How?'

'You'll think of something.'

'You're nice aren't you?'

'Indeed. I am the nicest person in the world!' Valkyrie sighed and brought the hand she was leaning on out in front of her.

'Okay-how can you be such a ego-maniac all the time?'

Skulduggery bent forward the newspaper so he could look at her.

'What's _wrong_ with having a massive ego?' She shook her head.

'No no, I'm just asking how and why you have the ego the size of Australia?' He tilted his head.

'Because it's bloody marvellous to love yourself.'

'Language, Skulduggery.'

'Twenty-two years old, Valkyrie.' He said, unbending the paper to read it. She smiled.

'And you expect people to love you as much as you love yourself?' He shrugged.

'Of course-who wouldn't love me?' Valkyrie fell silent and swallowed. Skulduggery hesitated and bent the paper again to look at her.

'Was that not the right thing to say?'

'Why wouldn't it be?' Valkyrie said quickly. He paused and then nodded slowly.

'Riiight.' He said, dragging out the word. She sighed inwardly and stood up.

'I should be going now.'

'Why?'

'I just should be-' Skulduggery shook his skull.

'Don't go just because of something I said.'

'I'm not.' She lied.

'I'm sorry if I said something wrong-whatever it was.'

'It's fine-'

'Was it the "who wouldn't love me" thing?'

'Well-'

'Why would that affect you?' She looked at him.

'It's not hard to work out.'

'It wouldn't unless...'

'Any second now.'

Skulduggery tilted his head in deep thought. After a few seconds he raised his skull in realization.

'Oh...' Valkyrie nodded.

'There it is.'

'You...I...'

'You've got a real way with words, haven't you?'

'Behave, this is serious business,' he looked at her, 'you love me?'

'Correct.' He stood up.

'I am so sorry, I never realized.'

'And now you do.' He stepped closer towards her.

'Indeed.' Valkyrie bit her lip.

'And...Do you...feel the same?' He sighed.

'No, no I don't.' She nodded slowly and looked at the floor. Skulduggery leaned closer towards her and brushed a loose of hair behind her ear. She looked up at him. 'I don't love you Valkyrie, I _adore_ you.'

She glowered.

'That, was, so cruel.'

'Sorry.'

'You should be.'

'You have my permission to kiss me anytime now.' She grinned.

'No.'

'Why not?'

'Because that was mean, and you don't deserve it.' He smirked.

'Do I have permission to kiss you then?'

'Of course.' He laughed quietly, and fulfilled that permission.


	38. University

**Acknowledgments! Agh!**

**Idea given to me by my friend Aimee, thank-you gorgeous! Also big thank you to Darren for letting me use him as Robert Dogene :D**

* * *

The university was huge. Large glass walls formed a curved building outside it, new students weaved their way around towering trees.

Valkyrie Cain stared at the scene before her, chewing at her lip slowly. That unfamiliar feeling of nervousness washed over her, making her feel slightly sick.

'Stephanie! Steph!' She heard someone call not far off from her. She turned to see Aimee, old friend of her she had known since primary school, perched on a low wall, waving at her.

Valkyrie smiled and walked up to her, hauling herself up on the wall next to her.

'Hi.'

Aimee grinned and tossed back her hazel coloured hair. 'Hi, Steph-you OK?'

Valkyrie hesitated. 'Well-'

'I know exactly how you feel, I mean, it's our like first day of uni!'

'It seems to be.'

'I'm so glad you're here though. When I first got here, I was like,' she pulled a daunted face, 'but now I'm like "phew, I'm not going to be on my own".'

'Isn't that swell.'

'I know right?'

'We've known each other since primary school haven't we?'

Aimee paused, and then raised her head in realization.

'Oh my God, yeah!'

'We've been through quite a bit.'

'Yeah-do you remember when in year one you got hit over the head with a horse-shoe?'

'Oh yeah, or when I corrected someone's grammar when I was five.'

Aimee sighed lightly. 'I wish that we were small and care-free again.'

'Mm, when everything was normal and easy and you didn't have to worry about boys or anything.'

'Speaking of booooys,' Aimee said slowly, 'I've got a boyfriend!'

'Really? Who?'

'Milo-from my old science class.'

'Oh, him-that's lovely.'

'Aw, thanks! So, what about you-any boyfriends on the horizon?'

Valkyrie hesitated. 'Sort of.'

'Ah-ha! Work in progress?'

'Something like that.'

Aimee nudged Valkyries shoulder. 'So, spill the beans-who?'

Valkyrie shook her head. 'You wouldn't know him.'

'Ooh! Mystery boy!'

You have no idea, Valkyrie thought, and then said aloud, 'he's not exactly a boy.'

'Oh really? A girl?'

'No, I'm saying he's too old to be a boy.'

'Twenty? Thirty?'

'...Sure.'

'So-what's he like?'

'He's tall, clever, funny, kind, very egotistical...'

'Hot?'

Valkyrie rolled her eyes. 'In his own way.'

'Aw! I hope I get to meet him one day.'

Valkyrie forced back a laugh at the thought.

Valkyries first part of the day was a history lecture held in the hall. Valkyries class filed in, finding their desks facing the stage. The crowd of students voices simmered down as a middle-aged man in a long black cloak stepped onto the stage.

'Good morning scholars of history-I am Professor Montgomery Wilson. I am head of Humanities here at this university. I thank you all for choosing history for your degree. I am now going to hand you over to our second facility teach-.' he was cut off by a tall man with shaggy, sandy hair, stubble and green eyes wearing a brown shirt, jeans and tie stroll up onto the stage. he dug his hand in his pocket, other hand raised to adjust his glasses.

'Sorry-important man can't be here today; unavoidable...thing happened.'

The professor raised an eyebrow at the young man in his thirties, who had now turned his attention to his red-brown converses.

'And you are-?'

'Robert Dogene; historical lecturer...thing.'

'I see...'

'So, if you wouldn't mind?'

Wilson grunted and left the stage through the curtain behind them. Robert leaned against the lectern.

'Hello, clever people, I am Robert-not that you need to know that; likely that most of you will never see me again.' His voice was laced with a cockney accent. Valkyrie couldn't help but frown at him. She didn't recognise him, but his presence was very familiar to her. The way he was holding himself-arms folded, but occasionally he raised his hand to adjust his hat even though he wasn't wearing one, and ended up pushing his glasses back up his nose.

'So history,' Robert continued, 'is, as you may know, very old...so there's that. And for a long time of you learning history there will be history of you learning history-is anyone else as confused as I am right now? That's good to know. Anyway, the point is, in which I am here to say this, is...where's Stephanie Edgley?'

Valkyrie was pulled out of her day-dreams at the mention of her name and looked at Robert.

'Here, Sir.' Robert pulled a disgusted face.

'Ugh, that's strange, don't call me that. Anyway, Val-' He stopped immediately. Valkyrie shot him a glare, piecing the puzzle together in her head.

'How...' She mouthed at him. He swallowed.

'Stephanie, would you follow me please?'

All eyes turned to her as she made her way to the stage. He smiled quickly at her before disappearing through the curtain door. Valkyrie followed him as they walked down the empty corridor, before Robert leaned against a wall and took his glasses off, rubbing his eyes.

Valkyrie frowned at him. 'Are you okay, sir?'

He sighed and put his glasses back on. 'Stop. Calling me that.' His voice changed dramatically to Irish, deep, grazed and oh-so-familiar...

'You!' Valkyrie almost screamed.

'Shush.'

She narrowed her eyes at him. 'Skulduggery, why are you here?'

'Several reasons,' Robert, or rather Skulduggery said, 'one-we have a case that I need your assistance in; two-I was bored sitting at home waiting for you, and three...'he bit his lip and looked at his trainers, 'I wanted to see how you were in your first day of university.'

Valkyrie blinked at him. 'Oh.'

'Mm.'

'It's a bit elaborate though-posing as a history lecturer, wearing glasses, wearing clothes that you'd never dream of wearing...'

He shrugged. 'You know I like to be better than everyone else.' She couldn't help smiling at that.

He sighed and brushed the trouser leg of his jeans. 'How can people wear these?'

'Oh, I don't think you'd understand; it's called style.'

Skulduggery looked at her and sniffed. 'I knew style before you were born.'

'Good for you.'

'Indeed.'

'I'm fine anyway.'

'Hm?'

'You came here to see how I was; I'm fine.'

'Oh, well, that's good to know.'

'Although, your speech wasn't exactly a great an enthralling way to start the day.'

'Really?'

'Mm, it was pretty boring actually.'

'I know, you were day-dreaming.'

She rolled her eyes. 'So sorry, Mr Pleasant.'

He pulled her face. 'Don't. It's strange.'

'Well, maybe you should punish me then...'

His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, turning beet-red. Valkyrie realised what she said and waved her arms in front of her manically.

'No, no! I didn't mean that!'

'Phew, I was going to say...'

'Oh, no, sorry.'

Skulduggery nodded quickly and dug his hands in his pockets. Valkyrie looked at the floor, an idea striking her.

'Why did you come to the uni when you could have just waited until I got back?' Skulduggery opened his mouth, and then closed it again. Valkyrie smiled and looked at him expectantly, 'speak.'

'I...missed you. Sitting at home, waiting for you to give me a ring when you get back.'

Valkyrie raised her eyebrows. 'You missed me?'

'Please don't make me say it again.'

'I can't leave you alone for five minutes, can I?'

He looked at her. 'Sorry.'

'No...I don't mind.' She said quietly. Skulduggerys mouth formed into a shy smile.

'Dinner?' He said finally. She smiled and shook her head.

'No,' she said, before wrapping her arms around his neck, 'just you and me.'

His smile turned into a grin, before he kissed her hesitantly, letting his fingers run through her hair. She broke off, laughing quietly.

'Not here, people will think I'm snogging a teacher.'

'Oh yeah,' he said, taking his glasses off, 'there-completely new man.'

She grinned and took his hand. 'God, I love you.'

'Good, that makes two of us.' Valkyrie laughed and punched his arm.


	39. Realization

**Sorry I haven't been able to update, my internet has been down for ages :(. NEW SKULDUGGERY BOOK WAS RELEASED TODAY! :DDD**

* * *

'For God's sake, Fletch!'

'Answer the bloody question!'

'I've answered it about twenty times now!'

Fletcher Renns face contorted with absolute rage. He stepped closer to Valkyrie. 'You may have answered, but have you answered it truthfully?' He threatened darkly.

'Fletch, you know that I would never be unfaithful, even to an idiot like you.'

'Oh, so I'm an idiot now?'

'Yes, only an idiot would be so damn paranoid all the time.'

'I am not paranoid Valkyrie, I am honest.'

'Oh, who's the liar now?'

'Just tell me who it is!'

Valkyrie stared back at him, nothing but truth in her eyes. 'No one.'

Fletcher looked back at her. 'I don't believe you.'

'What is it going to take-?'

Fletchers' eyes narrowed. 'Is it the vampire again?'

Valkyrie threw her hands in the air. 'That was seven years ago!'

'Ah, so it's someone new this time?'

'There, is, no one!'

He sighed loudly and looked away, weighing up potential lovers. He looked at her, eyes glinting. 'I've seen how you look at him...'

'Who?'

'Batting your eyes, following him around, his little lap-dog...'

'Who?'

'You know who I'm talking about.'

'Just tell me!'

'I'm talking about Skulduggery Pleasant, Valkyrie!'

Her mouth gaped open. 'What the Hell, Fletcher?'

'Do I need to spell it out for you?'

'You think that I would-'

'You had a crush on him before, why wouldn't one reoccur?'

She shook her head. 'You know what; I'm done with this-get out.'

He smiled icily. 'Struck a nerve, did I?'

'Just get out!'

Fletcher stared at her, and then disappeared. Valkyrie leaned against a piece of furniture-she didn't care what it was-to cool her head.

'So, I think that's all over between me and Fletcher now.' Valkyrie said as Tanith handed her a coffee, sitting down next to her.

'It sounds like it-God; he sounded like a complete control freak to you.'

Valkyrie nodded. 'He was, and so paranoid every time I so much as breathed in another man's direction.'

'You're better off without him.'

'I mean, he went as mad as to say that I fancied Skulduggery!' Valkyrie said, laughing. Tanith didn't respond, just raised her eyebrows and took another sip of her coffee. Valkyries eyes narrowed at her. 'What?'

'Nothing.'

'No, tell me.'

'Well, maybe Fletcher did have a point.'

Valkyrie almost spat her drink out. 'You can't be serious!'

Tanith shrugged. 'I'm just saying, maybe you do have a thing for him.'

'I don't have a thing for Skulduggery!'

'It's fine if you do, Valkyrie.'

'Okay, let's be realistic here, first-he's about four-hundred years old...'

'...And so's Ghastly.'

'Yeah, but you're about eighty-'

'Do I look it? Do I act it?' Valkyrie didn't have an answer to that. 'See what I mean?'

But I don't fancy him.'

'Well, I'm just saying that it would be fine if you did.' Valkyrie looked away, shaking her head. 'You're not a teenager anymore,' Tanith persisted, 'you're old enough to love someone.'

Valkyrie sighed irritably. The thought of her and Skulduggery was just wrong...yet, the more she thought about it, the more plausible it became. The thought of Skulduggery telling her that he loved her made her feel strangely...happy. She found herself smiling. She caught Taniths eyes and snapped out of it. 'This is ridiculous.'

'Whatever you say, Val.'

'Yes, i do say.' Valkyrie replied, standing up. 'I'm going.'

'Okay, I'll see you soon then.'

'Yep.'

The floorboards of Gordon Edgleys mansion were being slowly eroded away as Valkyrie paced up and down the hallway. 'I do not fancy Skulduggery,' she said, repeating the phrase until it was drummed into her head. She sat down heavily and tried to concentrate on something, anything, else. She settled for reading another bit of Sherlock Holmes. It didn't take her mind long to wander off again. Her eyes refused to focus on the book in front of her. She sighed and snapped it shut, resting her head in her hands. 'I do _not_ fancy Skulduggery Pleasant.' She said again, but this time it was so much harder to say. 'I do not fancy...I do not...I...' It was hurting to even begin to say it. She frowned. _Say it_, she said to herself.

But she couldn't bring herself to. 'I...' She sighed again and stared into space. 'I don't...fancy S-' She bit her lip, feeling her eyes start to sting with tears, 'I love Skulduggery Pleasant.' She choked out before letting the tears roll down her face. She sat there for what seemed like hours, slowly coming to terms with just how long she'd had feelings for him. Her phone rang out, cutting through her gentle sobs. Collecting herself, she answered it. 'Hello?'

'Hi, Valkyrie,' came a velvety voice.

'S...Skulduggery!'

'Yes, hello, I just rang to see how you are-it's been weeks since I last saw you, ever since you and Fletcher...went your separate ways.'

'Oh, well, you know...'

'Of course-you need some time to yourself.'

'No, it's fine.'

'That's good to hear. Ghastly's organised a little get-together next week for our little group...thing.'

She laughed and nodded. 'That sounds good, Skul.'

Skulduggery paused. 'Is something wrong?' He sounded concerned.

'No.' Valkyrie lied.

'You did want to split up with Fletcher, didn't you?'

'Yes, oh God, yeah.'

'...Do you want me to come round?'

She hesitated. 'I...don't know.'

'Sorry, that was a silly question when I just said that you need some time to yourself.'

'Mm.'

'I'll see you next week, then?'

'Yeah.'

'Excellent. Keep smiling.'

'You too.'

He chuckled. 'Yes I will. Ciao.'

'Ciao.' She replied, and hung up.

The moonlight glinted proudly over Ghastly, Tanith and China as they stood outside the tailors shop. Valkyrie smiled as she watched the stars shine above her as she sat on the roof.

'Enjoying the view?' Came a familiar voice from behind her. She turned her head to see Skulduggery settling himself beside her.

'Hi.'

'Are you alright? You sounded a little...deflated over the phone.'

'It's nothing.'

'For you, that implies that it's something.'

She smiled and looked up at the night sky. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Skulduggery opening and closing his mouth as if he was unsure of how to say something. They looked down to see Ghastly, Tanith and China preparing to light a firework. A rocket shot up into the sky, exploding with noise and colour. Skulduggery and Valkyrie followed each firework with their eyes before the skeleton looked at Valkyrie.

'I've been hearing some rumours about why you split up with Fletcher-apparently it was because you...had, or have...feelings for me.'

Valkyrie made a mental note to punch Tanith very hard in the face soon as she saw her next. 'Oh,' she said quietly and looked away.

'Indeed. I was wandering if it were true.'

She hesitated, and nodded oh-so-slightly.

'...Right.' Was all the skeleton could say.

'Yup.'

'If it's any consolation, I'm sorry that you broke up with Fletcher because of me.'

'How is it your fault?'

'I don't know, but I feel like it will be very soon.'

She looked at him. 'What?'

He hesitated. 'Valkyrie, I-' He was cut off by the three others talking in (attempted) whispers.

'They're talking! Use the firework we got from Diagon Alley!' Tanith said loud enough for Valkyrie to hear. No sooner was it said when a firework shot up before her eyes. It exploded, emitting a single phrase with its sparks.

'Valduggery.' Skulduggery read out quietly and looked back at Valkyrie. 'I...'

'Yes, Skulduggery?'

He sighed affectionately. 'Will you let me love you back?' He almost whispered, before gently kissing her. She melted into his arms, impossibly happy. They parted when they heard cheering from below. They looked down to see the other three clapping up at them.

'Finally!' Tanith shouted. Valkyrie grinned at her, and then back at Skulduggery.

'I agree with her.' She said.

'Sorry.'

'Oh, shut up!' She said, and kissed him again.


	40. Perfect man

**Warning! Death Bringer Spoilers!**

* * *

Valkyrie needed to stop feeling sorry for herself. Ever since she'd broken up with Fletcher and Calaen became nothing more than dismembered body parts, she couldn't help mopping on her own, to herself. It was affecting her work, her family life, and any other potential relationships with any passer-by. Even when she turned eighteen, inheriting the house of her dreams, she couldn't help feeling alone without "her boys".

It was here, at her newly inherited manor house, where she heard the doorbell ring. Her ears pricked up. The sound of a doorbell was rare to her nowadays. She stood up, opening the door to a very familiar-looking skeleton. 'Skulduggery.' she said flatly.

'Nice to see you too.' He said, tilting his head at her. 'Can I come in?'

'Yeah, sure.' She mumbled, stepping aside to let him in. After closing the door behind Skulduggery, she turned to him. 'Can I help?'

He leaned against the large ebony table and folded his arms. 'I just came to check if you were alr-'

'Why wouldn't I be?' She said quickly.

'I don't know, you tell me.'

Valkyrie hesitated and then sighed. 'That was ages ago. Why would I still be upset?'

'Something's clearly getting in the way of work. You've only been on a few cases with me since the whole...thing happened.'

'Sorry. If you want me to come to work with more, then I will.'

'I didn't come here to tell you to come back into work.'

'Then why are you here?'

'I told you-I wanted to see if you're alright. And are you?'

She opened her mouth, and then closed it again. She sat down on the sofa beside the table. 'I don't know. I shouldn't _still_ feel guilty for this long. It's been over a year, for God's sake.'

'Time isn't always the cure for everything. Sometimes time isn't the best option. Talk to me, if it helps.' Valkyrie bit her lip. 'It _will _help.' Skulduggery persisted, 'tell me about Fletcher and Calaen.'

She shook her head. '...Calaen was...twisted, dark, romantic...he said that he was my guardian angel, and I suppose he _was_.'

Skulduggery stayed silent, waiting for her to continue.

'He made me feel dangerous, toxic around him.' She swallowed and licked her lips. 'And then there's Fletcher...or rather, there _was_ Fletcher. He was cocky, straight-down-the-line good guy. My god, he loves himself. More than he loves anyone else, he is his biggest fan. He made out that he was the dumb one on the side, but really he was and is clever when he needs to be.' She looked up, staring into space as the tears came.

Skulduggery looked up at her when she heard her crying. 'Oh, Valkyrie...' He said softly.

'I'm fine.' She said, breathing deeply. He sat down next to her on the sofa, not really sure of what to do with a sobbing Valkyrie Cain. He settled for comforting her shoulder.

'I'm sorry. Maybe talking isn't always the best option either.'

'No...I...you're being nice to me.'

'Yes I am. Don't act so surprised.'

She laughed tearfully. She found herself resting her head in Skulduggerys side. He looked down at her awkwardly. 'Oh.' He said quietly.

'What?'

'Nothing.' He replied, wrapping his arm around her. 'I'm here. I'm sorry that I can't be Fletcher or Calaen, but I'm here.'

'Thanks.'

'You're welcome Make the most of this-I'm not nice very often.'

Valkyrie smiled. 'Boys are a waste of time.'

'Okay.'

'They're nothing to me.'

'Um...'

'I hate them so much!'

'..._All_ boys?'

She faltered and shook her head. 'No, not all of them.'

'Ah, that's good to know.' He said, looking straight ahead.

'I mean, most of them are self-centred, useless, annoying-'

'Alrighty then.'

'...But there are some exceptions.' She sniffed, gently nudging her head against his side. He smirked but didn't say anything.

They sat in silence for a while, both oddly comforted with being so close to each other. Eventually Valkyrie sniffed loudly to break the silence. Skulduggery laughed gently.

'Here.' He said, fishing out his handkerchief with his free hand. He gave it to her. She smiled and dabbed her eyes.

'Thanks.'

'Not at all.'

'You're a...you're a good friend to me, Skulduggery.'

He fell silent for a few seconds, and then nodded.

'Thank you.'

She sighed. 'I can't think of anyone I want anymore...I can only think of you as the only boy...well, man I can even consider talking to for a long time.'

Skulduggerys imaginary heart leapt. 'Yep.' Was all he could say, embarrassingly high-pitched.

'I've learned that if you want something in a person, you don't go for two people with those characteristics you want, you look for just one person who is everything you want.'

'Well done.'

'Like, I want someone who is both Calaen and Fletcher. So, I want someone who is twisted, romantic, dangerous, funny, clever, loves himself, got the ego the size of Canada, passionate, cares for me deeply...' She stopped talking. She looked up at Skulduggery slowly. He looked back at her.

'I...I um, should be going...' He muttered, untangling himself from Valkyrie and standing up. 'I'll...see you later.' Valkyrie watched him open the front door and leave. She sat for as long as she could before running to the top floor window to see Skulduggery make his way towards the Bentley. He climbed in and rested his elbows on the steering wheel, hands clasped in front of his teeth. He was deep in thought. She could tell. For a second Valkyrie swore that he was looking at her, even though it was impossible to tell. Eventually he started the engine and drove off, leaving Valkyrie in silent wander. She'd been looking for someone with every characteristic she wanted in someone. She never knew that that very person was always there.


	41. Chocolate cake

'No! Why are you beeping again?'

Valkyrie looked up from her mobile phone, caning her neck to see where in her inherited house the frustrated yells were coming from. She stood, wandering through corridors, going past the kitchen and then reversing. Skulduggery Pleasant had his back to her, his tall frame towering over a beeping cooker. 'What do you want me to do to make you shut up?' He asked it desperately, hoping the kitchen appliance would suddenly be given the ability to answer.

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and stepped past the troubled skeleton. 'It wants you to stop the timer.' She explained, pressing a button to shut it up.

Skulduggery looked at her. 'How did you do that?' He accused.

'I told you-it wanted to let you know that it's ready. It beeps when the timer goes off.'

'Oh.'

'Are you going to retrieve whatever you were cooking?'

'Indeed.' He opened the oven door a fraction. A thick trail of black smog escaped, disappearing into the air. Skulduggerys head tilted to Valkyries. 'Uh-oh.'

'How long did you leave it in there for?'

'I don't know. It started screaming at me about half an hour ago.'

'...The timer went off half an hour ago!'

'Yes. Is that bad?'

She grabbed an oven glove, opening the oven door the rest of the way. They peered in to see the remains of a cake, though you wouldn't know it was one even if someone threw it at you. All that remained was rock-hard blackened flour and sugar that might as well have been made out of one hundred per cent carbon. 'Take a guess.' Valkyrie said quietly, pulling the cake tin out and resting it on top of the cooker.

Skulduggery kicked the oven door shut with his foot and looked down at the inedible cake. '...Well.' He said finally.

'What were you trying to make exactly?'

'A cake.'

'I can see that, but for what occasion?'

'Our anniversary.'

Valkyries heart skipped a beat. 'I'm...I'm sorry?'

He looked at her. 'This is the day I first met you.'

She smiled. 'Is this the time at Gordon's funeral, or-?'

'The day I saved your life.'

'Ah. Well, thank you for saving me.'

He laughed. 'Not at all.'

'Anyway-back to cake.' She said, fishing out another batch of ingredients off the top shelf. 'It seems a bit extravagant to bake a cake when only one person would eat it.'

He shrugged and attempted to wash the burnt cake tin. 'I thought it would be a nice gesture.'

'It would be if I didn't have to bake it for you.'

'I'm sorry for not knowing how to use your oven.'

'How can you not know how to use one?'

'I've never needed to. When I was alive, you didn't have ovens like that. Plus, men didn't really do house-hold...things.'

'Sexist.'

'We just didn't really do that.'

She weighed out the flour and sugar whilst Skulduggery dried the cake tin.

'What was your job before you were a detective?' She asked.

'Before the war you mean?'

'Mm.'

He stood next to her and rested the tin back onto the worktop. 'I was a teacher at an academy for boys.'

She raised an eyebrow. 'I can't imagine you commanding a class...'He looked at her, head tilted. '...okay, maybe I can. What did you teach?'

'History.'

'Thought so.'

He smirked. 'Why's that?'

'Because, I don't know, you're very...history-ish.'

'...Right. That made sense.'

'It did make a bit of sense, which is enough for me.'

Skulduggerys gaze flickered to her. 'You...'

'Hmm?'

He hesitated, the smile in his voice. 'Nothing.'

She shrugged and brought out a wooden spoon from the drawer. 'Did the other teachers know that you were a sorcerer?'

'No. But one boy, Edward, was a young sorcerer. He was scared, he thought that he was a freak, so I took him under my wing.'

Valkyrie stirred the mixture, smiling gently. 'Aw.'

'What?'

'You can really care sometimes.'

'I can, can't I?'

'You've got a soft spot for teaching people magic, haven't you?'

'I suppose so.'

'You're very good at it.'

He shrugged. 'Thank you.'

Valkyrie nodded and poured the cake mix in to the tray. 'Excuse me.' She said. Skulduggery grunted and shifted side-ways, moving out of the way of the oven. She opened it, placing the cake tin inside and then closing it again. 'Let's see if we'll cook it right this time.'

Skulduggery cleared his imaginary throat. 'It was actually my idea.' He said.

'One thing to have an idea, another to accomplish it.'

'Seems so.' He bent sideways, looking through the oven door. 'Chocolate cake?'

'Yup.'

'I don't like chocolate cake.'

'Just as well you can't eat it then.'

'But...'

'You can't stop someone eating something just because you don't like it.'

'Can I decorate it?'

'What?'

'Your cake-I want to decorate it for you.'

'Wha- why?'

'Because it's fun.'

Valkyrie couldn't help herself grinning and rolling her eyes. 'You're so childish sometimes.'

'Is that a 'yes'?'

'Why, what are you going to put on it?'

Skulduggery tilted his hat. 'Surprise.'

Valkyrie laughed and shook her head. 'Fine. Just don't mess it up.'

'Of course.'

She made her way towards the living room. 'Give it about ten more minutes, yes?' She called from down the corridor.

'Yep.' He called back, checking his watch. Just gone half-past six.

He had time.

'Valkyrie?'

'Yes?'

'Could you come out of the living room for a while?'

Valkyrie dropped the book she was reading on a nearby table. 'Why?'

'Please?'

She sighed and went to the kitchen. 'What are you doing? Why do you need the living room without me in it?'

Skulduggery whipped round to look at her. 'No, shoo!' He said quickly, flicking the teatowel at her. 'Go to your room!'

'...I'm twenty-two, Skul.'

'So you should be able to understand simple instructions.'

She raised her hands in defeat. 'Okay, okay, I'm going.'

'Good.' He replied as Valkyrie pootled off upstairs to her room. He smiled inside his skull and carefully picked up the cake.

'Can I come in?' Came Skulduggerys voice from behind Valkyries door.

She stood up and opened it. 'What do you want now?'

'Can you, um, follow me please?'

'Why?'

'And could you close your eyes too?'

She frowned. 'How can I follow you whilst I've got my eyes closed?'

He hesitated. 'On second thoughts...' He stepped behind her, hands on her shoulders. 'Okay, now close your eyes.'

'For God's sake...' She muttered, but did as she was told. She felt herself being led down stairs, her minds map telling her that she was being led to her living room. Skulduggerys hands left her.

'Okay, open.'

Valkyrie bit her lip, and dared open her eyes.

She was met by the gentle orange glow of a few lit candles, white chiffon drapes across the walls. Her ebony table and chairs had been set out in the centre of the room, a large chocolate cake on top of it.

Valkyrie blinked, her breath caught in her throat. 'That...you...'

'Are you alright?' Skulduggery asked. She spun round and practically jumped into a hug. Skulduggery smirked as he stumbled back.

'Skul, you are bloody brilliant!'

'I know.' He said gently, parting slightly from her. 'I decorated your cake..'

'Can I see it?'

He gestured to the table, 'by all means.'

She walked towards it, peering at the top. Skulduggery had decorated it white and with black writing icing had delicately inscribed the phrase: 'until the end' on it.

Valkyrie gasped, sitting down. 'Oh, Skulduggery.' She breathed. He sat next to her, slicing the cake and handing her plate to her.

'Ma'am.'

She grinned, grabbing a fork from the table. 'You are brilliant.'

'I've noticed.'

They laughed quietly, falling into comfortable silence.

Until Skulduggery put a small velvet box on the table. Valkyrie stared down at it. 'What's that?'

'It's a box.'

She swallowed down her food and rested her fork on the side of her plate. 'Yeah, but what's in it?'

He slid the box towards her. 'Take a look.'

She hesitated, picking it up and opening it slowly. A ring. Silver, with tiny diamonds encrusted in it. She looked up at him.

'It's for a friend,' Skulduggery explained softly. 'She means everything to me and she doesn't even know it. At the moment, we're just friends. I want her to know that I love her far too much for just that. I want her to be my second half, my darling, my world. What do you think she'll say?'

Valkyrie felt a tear threatening to pour down her cheek. 'She'd say yes.'


	42. China

**Death bringer spoilers!**

* * *

She'd never liked prisons. Then again, she'd never known anyone who did.

China Sorrows sat cross-legged in the centre of her prison cell, contemplating what time she had wasted for today. Two months since she was found for being an ally with Serpine, she was thrown in the Sanctuary prison. She didn't have anything better to do anyway.

She looked up from her thoughts when she heard her cell door screech open. She didn't bother trying to escape past the Sanctuary official standing in the door frame.

'Can I help?' She asked.

He swallowed, sweat forming on his brow. 'I...' He coughed, 'you have a visitor.'

'Oh?'

'Mm.' He turned to leave, and then looked at her again. 'I love you.'

'Shut up.'

He whimpered and left, revealing Valkyrie Cain.

'Valkyrie.' China said. 'What gives me the pleasure of this meeting?'

Valkyrie stepped inside fully. 'You know why.'

'Please, enlighten me.'

The young detective dug her hands in her pockets. 'Skulduggery.'

'What about him?'

'I think you know, China.'

Chinas syrupy smile faded. 'He is no concern of mine now.'

'He is to me. He's barely spoken to me since he found out. Two months of not speaking to your best friend. It hurts.'

China stood up and wandered aimlessly around her cell. 'And yet I still fail to see what this has to do with me.'

Valkyrie controlled her breathing, trying to keep her temper. 'After he found out about what you did, he's shut himself out from the rest of the world.'

China shrugged. 'And what do you want me to do about it?'

'Simple. Apologise to him.'

China raised an eyebrow at her. 'If you haven't noticed by now, I am in prison; therefore I don't have the privilege of popping in and out to say sorry to someone.'

'Then apologise to me and then I'll pass the message along.'

China looked at her for a long time, and then smirked. Valkyrie folded her arms. 'Well?'

'I am not apologising to you or to Skulduggery.'

'Wha- why?'

'Because we've all done things we regret, my dear. And one day you just have to put it behind you.'

Valkyrie shook her head. 'I don't believe this.'

'So sorry to disappoint.'

'You know what you've done to him?' Valkyrie practically shouted. 'He's been completely destroyed because you! It's your fault he's a skeleton, it's your fault his families dead, _it's your fault _that I...' She stopped herself, frowning.

Chinas eyes narrowed. 'What were you about to say?' She asked.

Valkyrie shook her head quickly. 'Nothing.'

The older woman stepped closer towards her. 'Have I missed something?'

'No.'

'Do you remember the Requiem Ball? When Skulduggery and I danced?'

Valkyrie felt an unexpected pang of jealousy rise to her stomach. 'Yup.' She said quietly.

'Do you know what he said to me? Whilst me and him were dancing?'

Valkyrie stayed silent.

'He said I looked particulaly beautiful tonight. More beautiful than anyone in the room.'

'Why should I care?'

'Shall I tell you what else he said?'

'I said I-'

'He said he had feelings for me beyond the false love I give off.'

Valkyries eyes darkened with anger. 'And what did you say?'

'I said that it was possible I was falling for him as well.'

Cain swallowed back potential tears. 'Oh.'

'And then I told him that I was worth a little more than a pile of bones.'

Valkyrie screamed and hit China across the jaw. China fell to the ground, teeth bleeding.

'How dare you say that to him? He is worth so much more than you'll ever be!' Valkyrie shouted down at her.

Sorrows smiled up at her slowly. 'Oh, so sorry. I didn't know about your secret crush.'

'Shut up.'

'Of course.'

'You are nothing compared to him. Nothing!'

'I'm so sorry, my sweet.'

'Don't call me that.'

China smirked. 'I never knew you had feelings for him.'

'I...I don't.'

'Come now, you can admit it. Just between us two.'

'I'm going.' Valkyrie hissed, turning to walk away.

'He said something else to me, whilst we were dancing.'

'I'm not listening.'

'He said he couldn't be with me...because he was waiting for someone else.'

Valkyrie stopped walking. '...Who?'

'He didn't give a name. Did he need to?'


	43. Star drabble

**Sorry it's so short! Consider it a drabble. **

**I have a new story! It's a Sherlock/John set of oneshots from the BBC series Sherlock. Please check it out! **

* * *

Valkyrie yawned through the silence.

It had been a long day. Huddled up on Skulduggerys sofa, a blanket wrapped around her like a cocoon, looking out of the window. Skulduggery walked into the living room, a mug of hot chocolate in his hand.

She smiled up at him. 'Thank you.' She said as he handed it to her. He shrugged and leaned on the arm of the sofa.

'What are you doing?' He asked.

Valkyrie turned back towards the window. 'Looking at the stars.'

Skulduggery leaned forward closer to the window. 'Ah.'

They sat in silence, Valkyrie quietly sipping her drink. After some time, Skulduggery tilted his head towards Valkyrie and pointed out of the window. 'See that star there?'

'Yeah?'

'That's Orion. And that one there is the pointed end of the Plough.'

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. 'You know astronomy?'

'A little.'

'Well, here's what I know about astronomy.' She pointed upwards. 'See that star there? The second one on the right?'

'Mm?'

She looked at him. 'Neverland.'

He laughed and nodded. 'Yes, I suppose that counts.' He paused and shook his head. 'Sorry. This is all a bit romantic.'

Valkyrie blinked up at him. 'Is it?'

'Well, looking up at the stars together, pointing out constellations.'

'So?'

'So, it's odd if we're not together.'

Valkyries heart soared. '...Okay.'

'What, so you suggest we should be a couple?' He said, laughing.

Valkyries shoulders sagged as she laughed weakly. 'Yeah, silly me...'

Skulduggery stood up. 'I'll be in my study if you want me.' He said, strolling out of the room.

Valkyrie swallowed and looked back up at the stars. 'Stupid little Valkyrie.'


	44. Survivors

The smoke cleared between the two final standing soldiers. Around them were the bodies of old friends, enemies, fellow warriors.

Just the two of them left.

The survivors.

Valkyrie Cain stood in the centre of this destruction, looking straight ahead. Skulduggery Pleasant, with his suit torn, stood beside her.

'How many died?' Valkyrie asked emptily.

Skulduggery dug his hands in his pockets. 'All of them, both sides.'

'...Are you sure?'

The skeleton nodded. Valkyrie pursed her lips, eyes glazed with sadness.

'I'm so sorry, Valkyrie.'

'No.'

'This is my fault. It's my fault why you're standing on a dead battlefield.'

'Don't.' Valkyrie snarled, 'just don't.'

Skulduggery tilted his head at her. '...I'm sorry?'

'Stop saying that this is all your fault!' Valkyrie shouted, spinning on her heel to look at him. 'You do this every time something bad happens! I hate it when you do this, I hate being brave all the time, I hate it, _I hate it_!' She screamed.

Skulduggery stayed silent, dipping his head.

'I'm always the survivor,' Valkyrie continued, 'and so are you. I...I wish I died rather than lived.'

Skulduggery looked up at her. 'Don't say that.'

'Why not? It's true; I hate being the one to always live...' She laughed coldly. 'And _you_. The skeleton that always lives, who always fights back. Why _are_ you still living?'

Skulduggery opened his mouth in silent shock.

'Always the hero,' Valkyrie continued, 'but I know what you really are; nothing! You're...you're nothing to me!' She hit him over and over blindly.

Skulduggery grabbed her wrists. 'Valkyrie!'

Valkyrie writhed in his grip. 'No!'

He held on to her back, pulling her close. 'Valkyrie.' He repeated. She stopped struggling and burst into tears, burying her face in his suit.

'I'm sorry.' She sobbed.

Skulduggery sighed and stroked her hair. 'Sh, don't worry. I'm here, I'll always be here.'

'Don't go, please don't go.'

'It's alright, I'm not going to.'

'I didn't mean to say-'

'Shh, it's okay, I'm not angry.'

'Why are you always so nice to me?'

Skulduggery chuckled. 'Not always.'

'Yes you are, you don't ever put me down, or judge me, or blame me for anything.'

'I do tell you off sometimes, though.'

'But that's only because you care so much.'

'I care as much as anyone else.'

Valkyrie hesitated, and then smiled through her tears. 'You know, if you weren't a skeleton, and if you were the same age as me, I would probably be slightly in love with you.'

Skulduggery stiffened. He paused, before saying a quiet, 'oh.'

Valkyrie looked up at him. 'What?'

'Nothing,' He said quickly, 'nothing at all.'


	45. Chapter 1 mark 2

**Oh. My. God, guys! I love you all so, so much-I finally reached 100 reviews because for you! :DDD Because of that, I have done this. Do you remember all those months ago when I did my very first ligitamate one-shot? The one about the sea and them and all that?**

**WELL.**

**I have done it again, but improved it to show how far I've come :)**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

Valkyrie and Skulduggery leaned against the Bentley, looking out towards the wild, grey sea. Occasionally a wave would against the side, sending sea-spray everywhere.

'So,' Skulduggery said. 'Another day, another disaster stopped.'

Valkyrie smiled to herself. 'We're becoming heroes, aren't we? I'm a hero at twenty years old. What am I going to be like when I'm thirty?'

The skeleton smirked. 'I don't mind being a hero.'

'Of course you don't-you love yourself too much.'

He grunted. 'You say it like it's a bad thing.'

Valkyrie rolled her eyes good-naturedly. Skulduggery stood up straight and slipped his hands in his pockets. 'I better get going.'

Valkyrie sighed. 'Really?'

'Mm, sorry and all that.'

'Stay for a bit longer.'

'No.'

She nudged him slightly. 'Go on, live dangerously!'

He looked at her and laughed gently. 'Fine-two minutes.'

She grinned. 'Way-hey!'

They stared at the sea for a few moments in comfortable silence before Skulduggery coughed slightly. 'I really should be going now.'

Valkyrie looked at him. 'Fine, leave me then.' She said, sighing dramatically.

'I'll see you tomorrow. 'He said, opening the car door.

Valkyrie tilted her head at him. 'Hug?' She said, holding out her arms.

He looked at her, smirked, and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her. She smiled and rested her head in the crook of his neck. He sighed affectionately and pulled her impossibly close. She gripped on to his suit slightly, breathing in that musty smell he carried. He hesitated and kissed the top of her head. Valkyrie looked up at him, and smiled. He cocked his head slightly at her.

'Can I...just...' He hesitated again, leaned forward and kissed her. He heard her sigh lightly. When they parted, Skulduggery cleared his 'throat'.

'That...that was just a friendly kiss.' He said.

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow and nodded. 'Oh yeah, sure.'

'Just a friends...friends kiss.' He said slowly, not too sure of the idea himself.

'Sure.' She said, and let a small smile creep across her lips. 'No it wasn't.'

'It wasn't.'

'You love me, don't you?'

'You know what; I might actually stay here, a little longer.'

Valkyrie laughed gently. 'Was that a 'yes'?'

He nodded and spun her round so they were looking out at the sea once again. He wrapped his arms around her waist, head resting on her shoulder. 'I'll never leave you, Valkyrie Cain.'

'And I'll never leave you either. My Skulduggery.'

They stood, leaning against each other, watching the waves crash to and fro.


	46. Messanger part 1

**Dedicated to my sister because she gave me the idea :D Did I mention that I'm on Tumblr now? Because, because I'm on Tumblr now. I would give you a link if fanfiction wasn't such a...**

* * *

-Hey Val. You ready for tonight? Tanith.

Valkyrie smiled at her instant messanger as it popped up onto her computer screen.

-Yup. You? Val.

-Of course! Music consert+no boys+alcohol=party!

-Oh God.

-What?

-I am not letting you drink!

-Why not?

-Remember what happened last time you got drunk? That poor man...

-His shoes were fine in the end.

-Yeah, in the end.

-AAAAAAANNNNYYYWAAYS...How are things?

-Good thanks. I'm at Skulduggerys at the moment.

-Has he taken all the hints yet?

-No. Maybe I should just give up.

-Don't! You and Skul are meant for each other!

-Yeah, try telling him that.

-Maybe I will...

-You wouldn't dare.

-You think?

-Please don't Tanith!

-God, I was joking.

-Sorry, I'm just a bit annoyed with him.

-You can't help who you fall in love with, Val. It's just that you've fallen in love with a skeleton.

-Yeah.

-Haven't you ever thought that maybe he loves you too and he's too shy to say so?

-No.

-Why?

-Because he doesn't love me.

-Alright miss pesimist. I'll meet you outside Ghastlys shop in ten minutes. x

-Okay. x

Valkyrie shuffled out of her seat and made for the front door. 'Skul!' She called upstairs.  
'Mm?'  
'I'm going now.'  
'Okay; have fun.' He called back. Skulduggery heard the door slam as he descended the staircase, wandering towards his main living-room. He eyed Valkyries purse on the desk beside the computer. Skulduggery sighed and picked it up, looking out of the window to try and spot the owner of the purse, but to no avail. Skulduggery turned to leave the room, when his gaze fell onto the computer screen.  
Valkyrie had forgotten to close her conversation with Tanith.  
Skulduggery stared at the screen, processing every sentence, every word, every letter.  
_Fallen in love with a skeleton_..._taken all the hints_..._you can't help who you fall in love with._  
_You can't help who you fall in love with._  
_You can't help who you fall in love with._  
Skulduggery stepped back, stunned. He looked at Valkyries purse, at the computer screen, and then at his car keys.


	47. Messanger part 2

Valkyrie and Tanith weaved their way through the sea of excitable fans. The stage before them lit up, causing an ecstatic ripple to venture through the crowd.

Valkyrie looked at Tanith and grinned. 'Thank-you!'

Tanith frowned. 'What did you say?'

'I said thank-you!'

'What?'

Valkyrie sighed and rolled her eyes. 'Nothing.'

Three figures appeared on stage. Muse. The crowd screamed as 'Supermassive Black Hole' revved up.

Valkyrie laughed happily, raising her arms in the air whilst singing along.

And then she felt someone grip shoulder.

She spun round to see a tall man in his thirties, smiling in his deep blue suit. 'There you are.' He said simply, dragging her away from the crowd.

Valkyrie yelped as she was led away. No one heard her above the obsessive fan-girls as she struggled in his grip. They stopped walking when they reached the very back. 'Go away! I'll kill you, I swear!' She shouted.

'Valkyrie, it's me for God's sake!' He replied.

Valkyrie recognized his voice and relaxed. 'Skulduggery.'

'Hello.'

'What are you doing here?'

Skulduggery held up Valkyries purse. 'You forgot this.'

She sighed and stuffed it in her pocket. 'Thanks, bye.' She replied quickly, turning back towards the heave of people.

Skulduggery gripped onto her elbow. 'Valkyrie.'

She looked at him. He hesitated. 'I...you left the computer on.'

'And?'

'And a certain conversation with Tanith open.'

Valkyrie looked blank, and then clapped a hand over her mouth. 'No!' She whispered.

'It's okay.'

'No, no it's not.' She said, shaking her head slowly.

Skulduggery put his hands on her shoulders. 'Yes it is, Val. It's more than okay.'

'What?'

'Valkyrie...I...'

Tanith dashed up to them. 'Val! There you are!'

Skulduggery looked at Tanith and then back at Valkyrie. '...Never mind.' He said quietly, walking away.


	48. Think before you speak

The drive towards Gordon's estate was quiet. Washes of orange headlights past the Bentley, emitting a gentle "whoosh" as they did so.

Valkyrie looked out of her window, squinting slightly to see past her own reflection and the night sky.

'...What are you thinking?' Skulduggery asked, changing gear.

Valkyrie shrugged and looked straight ahead. 'Lots of clever little things.'

He smirked. 'Are you alright? About the whole...Lord Vile-thing?'

'I'll get over it.'

'If it's any consolation, I do feel awful for not telling you.'

'Skulduggery, it was ages ago.'

'And yet you still hold a grudge. I'm impressed.'

She smiled to herself before letting it fade. 'How many people know?'

'About me being Lord Vile?'

'Mm.'

'One.' He glanced at her. 'You.'

'Just me?'

'Well, it's not exactly like I'm going to shout it out to the world am I?'

'I suppose not. It can't look good on your CV.'

Skulduggery laughed. 'Skulduggery Pleasant, interested in: chess, history, and literature. Previous jobs include: history teacher, detective and mass murderer.'

'Good job you're self-employed.'

'Indeed.'

'Do I get paid by you?'

'Sorry?'

'Now I'm eighteen, am I authorised to receive payment from you?'

'...I suppose so, yes.'

'So?'

'So what?'

'Money. Now please.'

'No.'

'But you said-'

'I'll pay you someday. Someday is not today, is it?'

Valkyrie glowered and looked down at her hands. 'But I need money now.'

'Why?'

'...There are these high-top blue converses...'

Skulduggery chuckled, 'material girl.'

'You should see some other girls my age.'

'Ah.'

They sat in silence for a while. '...Skulduggery?' Valkyrie said finally.

'Mm?'

She looked out of the window as the Bentley swerved down towards a desolate country lane. 'I love you.'

Skulduggery braked violently. He stared at her. 'Wha-what did you say?'

She looked at him blankly. 'As a friend. Geez.'

Skulduggerys shoulders sagged. '...Oh.'

'Why? What did you think I meant?'

He hesitated. Valkyrie blinked at him. 'Skulduggery...'

Skulduggery shook his skull and got out of the car, slamming the door shut with his foot. Valkyrie frowned and got out. 'What the hell is wrong with you?'

'We're nearly at Gordon's house; you might as well walk from here. I'll see you tomor-'

'No, no. That is not an answer!'

'Well, what do you want me to say?' Skulduggery argued back.

'What did you think I meant?'

'...It doesn't matter.'

'I'll be the judge of that.'

He turned away from her, his temper fast running out fast. 'Just don't.'

'Tell me!' Valkyrie hissed, frowning.

Skulduggery whipped round. 'I thought you meant more than friends and I just wanted to believe it!' He shouted.

Valkyrie stared at him. '...What...'

Skulduggery brushed a hand over his jaw. He turned back towards his car and slipped inside, starting the ignition. Valkyrie watched in stunned silence as he drove away into the night.


	49. Run part 1

**Some emotional music would be appropriate here...**

* * *

'Stop him!'

Skulduggery and Valkyrie looked at each other as they heard the shouts of Sanctuary officials, and ran on. Valkyries legs seemed to be moving on their own accord, and her lungs screamed for air.

But she had to keep running with Skulduggery.

They kept "the whole Lord Vile thing" under wraps for years. The sanctuary found out eventually, so that's how both Skulduggery and Valkyrie came into this situation of running across Dublin side-streets away from Sanctuary officials, in the middle of the night.

Valkyrie felt Skulduggery almost pulling her forward beside him. They couldn't keep running like this-well, Skulduggery could, but Valkyrie felt the strong urge to pass nearing towards her.

Straight ahead of them was the Bentley. Oh, how wonderful it looked! Skulduggery threw the car keys in Valkyries direction and fired his revolver behind them. They reached the car finally.

'We need to get out of here.' Skulduggery said.

Valkyrie nodded and gasped for breath as a response, starting to unlock the car.

'You have to leave me, Val. Please, it's not safe.' Skulduggery said.

'I...told...you...no.'

'These Sanctuary agents won't hurt you, but they will hurt me.'

'Exactly...' She wheezed, yanking the car door open.

And then a Sanctuary official shot Skulduggery in his back.

The skeleton doubled over, moaning slightly. Valkyrie stared at him as he inched his way to the ground.

'No.' She whispered simply, kneeling beside him.

'They...shot me.'

'Sh, don't speak, just keep...just keep living.'

'I...can't.'

Valkyries eyebrows knotted together as she gripped the sides of his skull. 'No, shut up, don't.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Please survive, please, please survive.' She repeated over and over again.

'Valkyrie...'

'How do I save you? Tell me what to do!'

He shook his skull oh-so-slightly. 'Ask for...for me tomorrow and you will find me a...grave man.'

_'Stop it_!' She shouted.

She heard the Sanctuary officials trot up behind them, falling into silence.

'You can't die! You can't!' Valkyrie sobbed.

'I'm...'

'Don't leave me alone!'

He looked up at her, before falling into ever-lasting sleep.

Valkyrie gripped his shoulders, shaking him. 'Skulduggery!'

Silence.

Valkyries heart ripped in half as she screamed tearfully. Everything hurt. She hooked onto his suit impossibly tightly, rocking him gently in her arms.

'Cain.' She heard a Sanctuary official say. She didn't look up.

'Miss Cain.'

'You killed him!' She spluttered.

'Leave him now.'

'No!'

He sighed irritably and roughly pulled her to her feet, leading her away.

'Get off me! I want to stay here-'

'You can't.'

She looked back at Skulduggerys body. An empty shell. Nothing. She chocked on the lump in her throat.

'Skulduggery...'


	50. Run part 2

**Woohoo! 50th Story! *dances***

* * *

The pain didn't heal. Valkyries heart became cold and empty without her skeleton by her side. She stared down at the invitation to his funeral with glazed, soulless eyes.

It was a cold, bitter morning. The air was still as everyone filed into the church in silence. Valkyrie lagged behind, smoothing out her black dress Skulduggery had given to her all those years ago. It was a little too small for her now. Not that she cared. She sat at the back on her own, trying to pick out faces she knew. It was packed in the church. Skulduggery clearly had known many people in his life time. He didn't have many friends though, judging by the scowls on people's faces.

Eventually the vicar stepped forward, standing in front of the coffin.

'Dearly beloved,' he began solemnly. 'We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Skulduggery Christopher Pleasant.' He was a happy, faithful, honest man.'

Valkyrie sneered, but stayed silent.

'A loyal friend, a great detective, and a true, true gentleman.'

The service droned on at a snail's pace, Valkyrie re-writing everything the vicar said in her head. Eventually he allowed people to walk up to the coffin one by one to pay their respects.

Valkyrie stayed put.

The minutes ticked on, as everyone took themselves to their seats once again.

'We have paid our respects. We have shown our love, and now it is time to say goodbye to this honourable, honest, faithful-'

A fist burst through the coffins lid.

People screamed and dashed out of the church. The vicar jumped a mile backwards. Valkyrie gasped, as Skulduggery Pleasant sat up in his broken coffin. He jumped out.

'Firstly, I am not a gentleman; secondly, I am neither faithful, nor honourable.' He said coolly, walking towards the open-mouthed vicar. 'So get it right. Also, one of the worst funerals I have ever been to. I mean-how dull can you get? Where's the brass band? Where's the minute silence? Where are the French fancies!'

The vicar blinked at him. '...You're a skeleton.'

Skulduggery tilted his head at him. 'Are you just a...normal, mortal vicar?'

He nodded silently.

'Oh. Okay then.' The skeleton shrugged, turned, and then strolled down the aisle. 'Anyway, where's Valkyrie?'

Valkyrie slowly waved at him. 'H...hello.'

He looked at her. 'Ah.' He said quietly, and stood in front of her. 'Missed me?'

Valkyrie snarled and smacked him. 'How dare you!'

Skulduggery reeled back. 'Ow.'

'You died, I saw you, you were in my arms.'

'I was, wasn't I?' He looked at her up and down slowly. 'Your dress is a bit...short for a funeral.'

'Shut up.'

'No.'

'I hate you.'

'You really don't.'

'How come you're still alive?'

'I'm surprised you didn't notice. I wasn't shot.'

'Yes you were.'

'I wasn't. Rule one-?'

Valkyrie frowned slightly. '...The Doctor lies?'

'No.'

'Don't wander off?'

Skulduggery sighed. 'You watch too much _Doctor Who_. _My_ rule one is "don't kill the corpse".'

'Oh, yeah.'

He turned to the few remaining guests. 'It's much harder for you to kill me than it is for me to kill you. That sanctuary official didn't shoot my back. He missed; the bullet went right through my rib-cage.'

'Then why-'

He looked back at Valkyrie. 'If I died, then the Sanctuary will stop looking for me, won't they?'

She let herself grin. 'You clever sod.'

'I know. If I died, then I could leave Ireland, run away and never be found.' He stepped closer towards her. 'And I want you to come with me.'

Valkyrie stared at him. 'What did you say?'

'Come with me. Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain. Lord Vile and Darquess; running from the world.'

Valkyrie paused. 'In what way would we be together?'

Skulduggerys skull dipped. 'As friends, as colleagues, as lovers, as husband and wife. It's your choice.'

Valkyrie smiled at him. '...You and me? Just us?'

He nodded. 'What do you say?'

She bit her lip and shyly held his hand. 'You would do that for me?'

'Yes.'

She spun him round and pointed out of the door they were now facing. 'That way.'

He leaned closer towards her, looking straight ahead. 'Why that way? What's there?'

'I don't know.' She looked at him. 'Let's find out.'

If it was possible for Skulduggery to smile wider, he would have. They looked back at the remaining guests. 'Keep this quiet, won't you?'

The vicar nodded distantly.

They looked back at each other. 'Bentley?' Skulduggery said.

Valkyrie grinned. 'Bentley.'

Holding hands, they left the church. The guests slowly turned to the window, and watched them _run_.


	51. Man Talk

'You can't fancy someone who's verging on physcopathic, Erskine.' Skulduggery said coolly, smoothing out the newspaper he was reading.

Erskine sighed and sat next to Ghastly. 'But she is wonderful!'

Ghastly raised an eyebrow at him. 'We are still talking about China, right?'

'What's wrong with her?'

Skulduggery smirked. 'What's _right_ with her?'

'Well, she's hot. You have to admit that she's hot.'

Ghastly rolled his eyes at him. 'You're four hundred and one, Ravel, now's about the right time to stop using the word "hot".'

'But it's true, isn't it? Skulduggers, didn't you have a thing for her?'

Skulduggery folded the paper away. '_Skulduggers_? And I thought Skully was bad enough. To answer your question, yes I did have a thing for her. That was before I found out about...' He coughed. '...Well.'

'It's not that she's out of your league, Ravel.' Ghastly said, 'She's just a psychotic lunatic.'

Erskine wrinkled his nose. 'That's a nice way of putting it.'

'I thought so.' Skulduggery muttered. 'If it was my opinion, I would have said that she's a sly, evil, devilish bi-'

'Anyway, it's easy for you to say,' Ravel directed at Ghastly. 'You've got Tanith now, you've got someone. I haven't. It's depressing.'

'Thanks.' Ghastly murmured, starting up his sewing machine. He was making a brown leather heart-shaped bodice for Tanith. He smiled to himself as he worked.

'Everyone I know has someone.' Ravel moaned.

'I don't.' Skulduggery said, looking down at his gloves.

'Yeah, but you don't count.'

Ghastly smirked as Skulduggery tilted his head at him. 'That's harsh.' The skeleton replied.

'Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that you don't get...urges.'

Skulduggery shuffled in his seat. 'Just because I'm skeleton, it doesn't mean that I'm not human.'

'Of course, sorry.'

'Mm.'

Ghastly looked up from his work. 'Well?'

Skulduggery tilted his skull at him. 'Well what?'

'Who do _you_ like?'

Skulduggery paused. 'No one.'

'That's a lie.'

'It's not.'

'It absolutely is. Tell us.'

'There's honestly no one.'

Erskine raised an eyebrow at him. 'Then why get all defensive, then?'

'...I'm sorry?'

'You're getting all defensive.'

'No I'm not!'

'You are.'

'Why would I need to be?'

Ghastly leaned forward in his seat. 'So there _is_ someone?'

'Yes.' Skulduggery said, and then shook his skull. 'No.'

'Ah-ha!' Who is it?'

'It doesn't matter.'

'Tell us.'

'No!'

'He or she?'

'She, but-'

'Do we know her?'

'Well-'

'Is it China?'

'Good God, no.'

Ghastlys eyes narrowed. 'Is it Tanith?'

'I wouldn't dare.'

'Then who is it?'

The doorbell rang. Ghastly sighed at the detective and stood up, strolling off towards the corridor. He opened the door to see Valkyrie standing on the doorstep. She grinned at him.

'Hi, I think I left my phone somewhere in here, can I...?'

Ghastly shrugged and stepped aside. 'Of course. I saw it in the front room.'

Valkyrie wandered towards the room directed, Ghastly following her after he shut the door.

Erskine smiled at her. 'Hi, Val.'

'Hi.'

Skulduggery looked at her and automatically stood up. 'Valkyrie.'

'Hello.'

They looked at each other for a long while, before Valkyrie cleared her throat. 'I, um, left my phone.'

'It's over there.' Skulduggery said, pointing at the mantel.' Valkyrie nodded and picked it up.

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.'

She smiled. 'I'll see you later, yeah?'

'Mm. Shall I, um, pick you up at your house?'

'I'd like that.' Valkyrie said, turning to leave. Bye, boys.'

'Bye...' Skulduggery said quietly, as she left.

He looked at Ghastly and Erskine. They were grinning at him. 'What?'

'It's her, isn't it?' Ghastly said. 'It's Valkyrie.'

'Don't be ridiculous.'

Erskine rolled his eyes at him. 'Then why did you stand up when she entered the room then?'

Skulduggery sat down.

'And why did you get all flustered when she started talking to you?' Ghastly said.

'I didn't.' Skulduggery protested.

'You did. I've never heard you trip over your words so much.'

'I think I'm doing quite well since I don't have a tongue.'

'You have a crush on Valkyrie, don't you?' Erskine said.

'What?'

'You. Fancy. Valkyrie.'

'Understatement of the century!' Skulduggery blurted.

Erskine and Ghastly looked at each other and then back at Skulduggery. 'Pardon?' Ghastly said.

Erskine hesitated. 'Who is your best friend?'

'Valkyrie.'

'Who do you trust the most?'

'Valkyrie.'

'Who is your soul mate?'

'Valkyrie.'

'And who is the one person who you couldn't live and function without?'

'...Valkyrie.'

Erskine sighed. 'You don't fancy her, do you?'

'No.'

'...You love her.'

Skulduggery went silent, before saying a quiet, 'yes.'

Ghastly rubbed his eyes. 'Oh, Skulduggery.'

'I know, I know.'

'How old is she now?'

'Twenty-two.'

'Remind me-how old are you?'

'Does it matter? We're never going to be together, it's never going to happen, so let's just leave it at that.' Skulduggery replied bitterly. He stood up, adjusted his hat and left the room...to see Valkyrie Cain standing in the corridor.


	52. Silent Night

**MERRY CHRISTMAS AND ALL THAT.**

**Sorry, this is really OOC.**

* * *

Valkyrie leaned back in her chair, thinking of nothing in particular. Her mother busied herself in the kitchen, whilst her father entertained Alison in front of the Christmas tree. Valkyrie looked at them all with glazed eyes. Her mother found out about her involvement with the magical industry. She found out about her life of thrill and deduction. She found out about Skulduggery. Her mother forbid Valkyrie to ever return to that part of her, banning her from ever seeing Skulduggery in the process.

She sat in silence, watching the snow drift slowly to the ground, only visible through the street lamps orange glow.

_Silent night, Holy night_

_All is calm, all is bright_

_Round yon virgin mother and child_

_Holy infant so tender and mild_

_Sleep in heavenly peace_

_Sleep in heavenly peace._

She went to bed deliberately early to stop the feeling of loneliness over-riding her completely. She slept with dreams of her skeleton roaming around in her head, until something disturbed her slumber. Her eyes snapped open when she heard something.

_Silent night, holy night_

_Shepard's quake at the sight_

_Glory's stream from Heavens afar_

_Heavenly hosts sing halleluiah_

_Christ the saviour is born_

_Christ the saviour is born_

Valkyrie rolled onto her side to check the time, when she heard the noise again.

Tap, tap, tap.

Valkyrie frowned to herself and sat up on her bed, looking out of the window next to it. Through the darkness, she could just make out a figure perched on her window-ledge.

Skulduggery Pleasant.

She stared at him, wanting to let him in. She reached for the latch, but Skulduggery quickly shook his head and gestured downstairs. Valkyrie paused and then nodded, realising what he meant. Her parents were still awake downstairs and if they heard anything from Valkyries room, who knows what might happen.

_Silent night Holy night_

_Son of God, loves pure light_

_Radiant beams from thy holy face_

_With the dawn of redeeming grace_

_Jesus lord at thy birth_

_Jesus lord at thy birth_

They looked at each other in silence, before Skulduggery waved gingerly at her. Valkyrie laughed quietly. He tilted his head and held up his hands, forming a heart. She smiled and copied him. Snow was settling on the rim of Skulduggerys hat as he reached down beside him, grabbing his notebook. He turned it towards Valkyrie.

'I miss you.' He wrote.

Valkyrie sighed affectionately. 'I miss you too.' She mouthed.

He flipped over the page and started scribbling in furiously. He spun it round once again.

'Merry Christmas.'

Valkyrie grinned and followed his lead, grabbing a notebook and pen.

'You've got snow all over your hat.' She wrote.

Skulduggery immediately shook his skull, snow falling off his hat.

Valkyrie laughed.

'Stupid skeleton.'

'Thanks.' Skulduggery wrote back.

'Merry Xmas to you too.'

Skulduggery reached behind him and produced a wrapped present. He waved it at her. Valkyrie looked at him sympathetically.

'I didn't you get you anything.' She wrote.

He shrugged. 'Don't mind.'

She bit her lip and eased the window open slowly, just enough for it not to creek. Skulduggery slipped the present in the gap, catching onto her hand for a millisecond. She smiled and closed the window. It thudded a little too loudly for her liking. She whipped her head round, panicking at the thought of her parents hearing. Nothing. Valkyrie sighed in relief and looked down at the present in her hand. She carefully opened the wrapping paper, trying to make as little noise as possible. Inside were dozens of red paper hearts. They fluttered to the ground as she examined the presents; a copy of Romeo and Juliet and a pair of black glittering heeled shoes.

Valkyrie stared up at the skeleton with utter awe on her face. 'Skulduggery...' She mouthed.

He dipped his head, as if to say "you're welcome."

She walked closer towards the window. Skulduggery hesitated, and then pressed a hand against the glass of the window. Valkyrie looked at it, and then did the same, pressing her hand on his.

_Silent night, Holy night_

_All is calm, all is bright_

_Round yon virgin mother and child_

_Holy infant so tender and mild_

_Sleep in heavenly peace..._

Skulduggery and Valkyrie pressed their foreheads together over the glass pane. Valkyrie closed her eyes as they stung with despair. Skulduggery looked at her and tilted his head, as if frowning at the tears. He picked up his notebook.

'What's wrong?' He wrote.

Valkyrie closed her hand slightly over the glass. 'I really, really miss you...' She mouthed, feeling unbelievably weak and pathetic.

Skulduggery raised a hand and attempted to wipe the tears away through the window.

'Steph? Are you alright up there?' Valkyrie heard her mother call. Valkyrie looked round-thankfully no one was standing at her door.

'Yeah, I'm, um...I'm just going to sleep...again.'

'Night then.'

'Yup.'

She looked back at the window, but Skulduggery wasn't there anymore. She frowned and looked down at her garden, to see him slipping away silently. He looked back at her window, holding up his notebook.

'I love you.'

Valkyrie felt the breath catch in her throat as she drew a heart on the window. His shoulders sagged, his only way of showing that he was sighing affectionately, and waved up at her. She waved back and stepped away, sliding into bed.

_Sleep in heavenly peace._


	53. Nightmares

**_Wow. _Two crying oneshots next to eachother. Sorry.**

* * *

_'We know who you are...' _

Valkyrie heard the voices in her head as she slept.

_'We've seen the future..._'

She tossed and turned, gripping the bed sheets furiously.

_'We know you're going to kill the world...'_

Sweat formed on her brow as her nightmares took hold. They clung onto her mind mercilessly, filling her head with the things that could be, that would be. The images distorted horrifically into a dark fantasy. She was cold, alone, trapped in the old sanctuary. Bodies littered the floor as she beat her fists against the large metal door, the Torments spiders turning the bodies into their own playground; crawling over them in their hundreds. The book of names dropped before Valkyrie, flicking onto the page with her name on it. The page ripped itself out of the book, writhing in front of Valkyries face. It formed into a gnarled hand, clawing at her. She screamed and tried to bat it away, but her hands felt like something was holding them down, stopping her. Someone called out her name in a metallic, sharp voice. She struggled to break free, trying to shout out again but failing.

'Valkyrie...'

The voice changed slightly.

'Valkyrie!'

She found her strength and attempted to free herself from the hands grip.

'Valkyrie, wake up!'

Valkyries eyes snapped open, sitting bolt up-right. Skulduggery Pleasant was at the end of her bed, illuminated by the moonlight. He was gripping onto her shoulders, his voice laced with concern. 'Are you alright?'

Valkyrie stared at him. She realised how out of breath she was and how the lump in her throat appeared out of nowhere. She burst into loud, noisy sobs, leaning into Skulduggerys chest.

He sighed and held onto her. 'Sh, it's okay. You were just having a nightmare.'

She barely heard him. She hated crying, let alone in front of Skulduggery. She had never felt weaker in her life. 'I...I...' She said between sobs.

'Shush now, you're alright.' Skulduggery said softly, stroking her head. Valkyrie nodded and sniffed loudly. She clutched against his suit as he gently rocked her back and forth. He must have been a good dad. She realised her cold she was as her body shivered against him. Skulduggery looked down at her, shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it around her.

Valkyrie swallowed. 'Th...Thank-you.'

'Not at all, sweetheart.'

_Sweetheart._

She looked at him. 'How did you know I was having a nightmare?'

Skulduggery tilted his skull. 'You were calling my name out in your sleep.'

Valkyrie stared at him. 'Was I?'

'Well, not calling. More like screaming.'

Valkyrie suddenly felt a pang of guilt settle in her stomach. 'I'm sorry.'

He shook his head. 'No, don't be...I just, um...'

She frowned slightly. 'What?'

Skulduggery looked away. 'You wouldn't wake up. You were screaming my name, but you wouldn't wake up, and I didn't know what to do...I...I was scared.' He said quietly. Valkyrie looked at him with wide eyes.

'Are you okay?' She asked.

Skulduggery nodded. 'I am now.'

They sat in silence for a long time, before Skulduggery stood up to leave.

'Don't go.' Valkyrie said.

He looked back at her. 'You need to get back to sleep now.'

She bit her lip, feeling like a spoilt child. 'Sorry. Silly of me to ask.'

'No, no. It's...fine.' He said softly. 'Do you want me to stay?'

'Only if you want to.'

Skulduggery walked back towards her, sitting back down on the bed. Valkyrie flopped back down onto her bed as Skulduggery sat by her. Valkyrie smiled sleepily at him and closed her eyes. 'Don't leave.'

'I won't, darling. I'll stay here. I'll be here when you wake up, if you like.'

Valkyrie nodded oh-so-slightly, before letting herself fall asleep.


	54. Nightmares part 2

**Onyx Shadow gave me an idea for a part two to 'nightmares'. I am So. Sorry, Onyx! I read your message, planned the story, an then ended up doing something completly different! GAH! Forgive me? Maybe I'll write it some other time. -feels awful- **

* * *

'Val.'

'Mh.'

'Are you awake?'

'No.' Valkyrie said lazily, opening her eyes a fraction. Skulduggery was standing over her bed, a tray of breakfast in his hands. Valkyrie frowned and blinked her eyes open properly. '...What...?'

'Morning.' He said brightly, resting the tray on the bedside table.

'You...you made me breakfast?'

He hesitated. 'Well, no. Tesco did, I just made it look pretty.'

She smiled lazily and propped herself up, fighting back a yawn. 'What's all this for?'

Skulduggery paused, dragged a chair towards the bed and sat down. 'I'm a little worried.'

'Why?'

He looked at her. 'You're twenty years old, Val-I thought the nightmares would have slowed down by now.'

Valkyrie blinked, confused. And then she remembered what happened in the middle of the night; the dream, the screaming, the tears...

Her face reddened with embarrassment. 'Oh.' She said quietly, looking down at her hands.

'Mm.' Skulduggery replied.

They sat in silence for a while, Valkyrie nibbling gingerly on her toast whilst Skulduggery leaned back in his chair, thinking of nothing in particular.

Valkyrie swallowed back her pride. 'I'm sorry.'

Skulduggery jumped slightly as he was pulled out of his day-dream. '...Pardon?'

She looked at him. 'I'm sorry for crying in front of you.'

The skeleton stared at her. '...Why would you need to say sorry for that?'

'Well, I know you don't like me crying because it makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable around me, and I don't blame you to be honest, because-'

Skulduggerys hand went to her shoulders, making her shut up.

'Valkyrie, I've told you never to lie.'

'You lie all the time.'

'Shush. Now; I never feel akward around you, not ever. Even when you act all embarassing and childish, I don't feel awkward. The reason why I don't like to see you cry is because it genuinly hurts me to look at you like that, knowing there's nothing I can do make it better. Any questions?'

Valkyrie looked into his eye-sockets, pausing. '...Who are you?'

Skulduggerys head tilted. 'I'm...sorry?'

Valkyrie sighed and rested a hand on his ribcage. 'Who are you? Who are you really?'

'You know exactly who I am.'

'I really don't.' Valkyrie said quietly. She lifted one of his hands off of her shoulder and holding it lightly on her own hand.

'I don't under-'

'Yes, yes you do,' Valkyrie replied, 'I know who you are and what you do. I know about...about you being Lord Vile, and the death of your wife and child. I know all of that, but do I know _you_? _Really_?'

Skulduggery sighed at their entwined hands. '...I, um...'

Valkyrie raised her eyebrows. 'Wow. I've made Skulduggery Pleasant speechless.'

He chuckled and stroked Valkyries hand with his thumb. 'You know me more than anyone else does, Val.'

'Why did you say the nightmares should have stopped by now?'

He looked at her. 'Because it's very rare to still have nightmares of past mistakes so later on.'

'But you still have nightmares, don't you?'

Skulduggery went silent, and then pulled his hand away from hers, leaning back in the chair. 'How did you know that.'

Valkyries eyes turned serious. 'I am a detective.'

Skulduggery sighed inwardly and turned his skull to the window.

'What are they about?' Valkyrie asked.

'...There are some that you'd expect- Lord Vile, the killing of my family, that kind of thing. But there are some that...well, they're a lot worse. Some of cases that go horribly wrong, me standing in front of every person I've killed, trying to justify why they're dead. And then...and then they're the ones where I arrive too late to save you, seeing you slip away from existence. Those are the nights when I "wake up" screaming your name, fighting the urge to drive up to Gordon's and hold you in my arms, just so I know you're okay...' He stopped talking abruptly.

Valkyrie stared at him. 'Skul?'

Skulduggery stood up. 'I...I've got to...' He muttered, strolling towards the door. He didn't look back when Valkyrie shuffled out of bed, calling his name again.


	55. Nightmares part 3

**OH GOD I HATE THIS CHAPTER. **

**I tried to write this, but I completly failed. I might delete this one and write a better one soon. Sorry.**

* * *

Valkyries bare feet ran down the stairs. 'Skulduggery!'

Skulduggery entered his living-room with his hands in his pockets, head down. Valkyrie sighed and barged in to the room after him. 'Skul.'

'You better...get dressed...'

'No, what did you mean?'

'Nothing.'

'You always mean something.'

'Stop it.'

Valkyrie frowned slightly. '...Wha-'

Skulduggery whipped round to look at her. 'I thought you knew me-but you obviously don't, do you? You know _about_ me, and you know _of _me, but you don't know me!' Skulduggery shouted. 'You want to know who I am? I'm a psychotic skeleton who once killed the world without even trying. I watched my family be tortured and killed right in front of my eyes. I've destroyed people's lives just by saying a word to them. I don't know what compassion or care is anymore, and yet I've fallen hopelessly in love with a twenty year old girl who just so happens to be destined to kill the world too!'

Valkyrie stared at him in complete silence.

Skulduggerys shoulders sagged as he looked away. '...I'm sorry, I-'

Valkyrie darted towards him, kissing his teeth. Skulduggery unconsciously placed a hand on her waist. They stood, wrapped up in this bubble of sheer bliss until Valkyrie parted from him.

'...Oh.' Skulduggery said quietly.

'Yes.'

'I...oh.'

'Do you need a moment?'

'That would be ideal.'

'Tough.' She said, trailing kisses along his jawline.

The skeleton sighed slightly. '...Valkyrie...'

'Yes, detective?'

'I...' He snapped out of it. 'Whoa, Wait!' He peeled away from her, hands gripping her shoulders at arm's length. 'What...why are you...?'

She smiled at him coyly. 'Are you flustered, Mr Pleasant?'

'No.'

'Are you having trouble speaking?'

'No, I'm fine. I just-'

'-Don't know how to talk?'

Skulduggery suddenly pulled Valkyrie closer, his hand going to the small of her back. 'What are you going to do about that?'

Valkyrie leaned into him. 'You tell me.'

He smirked, dipping his head closer, before leaping away from her. 'No. Wait. Shut up.' He said, pacing up and down the room.

Valkyrie looked at him, shrugged, and sat down on the sofa.

'So you seem to have feelings for me even though I'm a skeleton who has destroyed the entire magical community just because I was depressed.'

'So?'

Skulduggery looked at her. '...Are you a masochist?'

'I don't think so.'

'Right, okay.' He sat beside her. 'So, what...'

'Maybe I just like you.' Valkyrie replied, pulling on his tie lightly. 'Maybe I like you a lot.'

Skulduggery shifted in his seat, feeling shy for the first time in his life. 'I am a bit old for you.'

'Do I care?'

'I am a skeleton.'

'I've seen much worse.'

Skulduggery laughed, his confidence returning. 'I doubt that very much.'

'Have you _seen_ Fletcher drunk on a Friday night?'

'Oh, God. That image still haunts me to this day.'

'Remember when he was sick all over that guy from _Steps_?'

Skulduggery laughed again. 'That was a long day.'

'Mm.'

They looked at each other. Skulduggery hesitated, snaking an arm around Valkyries shoulders. 'Valkyrie?'

'Yeah?'

'...Would this work?'

Valkyrie paused, and then leaned into him. 'I...don't know. I want it to.'

'If you want something, you normally get it.'

'That's because I'm so brilliant.'

'Oh, is that what it is? And here I was thinking that it was because you had a natural gift of being such a-'

'Well, you've been wrong several times before, haven't you?''

Skulduggery chuckled and 'kissed' her forehead.

'We'll make this work.'


	56. Not Alone: Darren Criss

**_Christ _it's been a while, hasn't it?**

**The song (which I don't own) is Not Alone by Darren Criss. The idea for this thing came from my friend Keri, her fanfiction name is hottemperedpixie. Go tell her she's brilliant. **

* * *

_I've been alone_

_Surrounded by darkness_

_I've seen how heartless_

_The world can be_

It's odd, being dead and still alive. You're in limbo forever, unsure as to where you're meant to be. Are you early? Are you late? Where do you stand in everyday life? Where would you be more at home? Surrounded by so much life or none at all? It could only be him. No one else would dare to exist in a purgatory-like state but him. Sometimes, on the rare occasion, he would regret ever waking up once again. That's what makes him human.

_I've seen you crying _

_You feel like it was hopeless_

_I'll always do my best to make you see._

Valkyrie stuck her head round the door of the flower room in the cemetery. She sighed happily and then spluttered as the scent of fifty different types of flowers hit her. 'There you are.'

Skulduggery Pleasant had his back to her, staring down at the book of remembrance in front of him. She walked up to the skeleton. 'What you doing here?'

He didn't answer her until she asked again. He glanced at her with hollow eyes, and then back at the remembrance book. He had managed to unlock the glass casing around it, tracing his gloved fingers over the pages. 'It's my anniversary.'

Valkyrie blinked. 'Pardon?' She said quietly, before nodding to herself. 'Do you mean your wedding anniversary?'

'No, not my wedding anniversary. My death anniversary.'

_Baby, you're not alone_

_'Cause you're here with me_

_And nothing's ever gonna bring us down_

_'Cause nothing can keep me from loving you._

'Oh.' Valkyrie said finally, unsure of what to say.

'How many times do you think I've died, Valkyrie?'

'Uh, just the once?'

He tilted his head at her, and pointed at one of the sections of the page he was on. '"23rd October. In memory of Skulduggery Pleasant. May God have mercy on his soul."' He read aloud. He flicked through carefully. '2007. In memory of Detective S. Pleasant. Died before his time." That was when Mr Bliss pushed me off the cliff. Someone must have recognised me before I fell, but never saw me emerge from the sea.' He flicked a little further on. '"6th April 2009. Skulduggery Pleasant; taken to a world where he'll never return from." That's when I got sucked into the faceless ones realm. Someone was obviously pessimistic about you saving me.'

Valkyrie smiled. 'The person who writes this book must be very confused.'

Skulduggery laughed. 'They're clearly not very bright.'

_And you know it's true _

_It don't matter what it'll come to be_

_Our love is all we need _

_To make it through._

He looked at her and walked out of the door. 'Follow me.'

They came to a clearing in the grave-yard. A grave stood on its own, its writing faded. Dead leaves were scattered around it, with ivy starting to grow over it. Valkyrie opened her mouth slightly as she read the engraving. "In loving memory of Skulduggery Christopher Pleasant. Devoted husband and father. May you join your loved ones once again."

'Oh, Skulduggery...'

'When I died in the war, my old comrades announced my death-a grave was sculpted. They tried to find my body, but it was too late by then.'

_Now I know it ain't easy_

_But it ain't hard trying _

_Every time I see you smiling _

_And I feel you so close to me _

_And you tell me..._

His shoulders sagged. 'My grave without a body beneath it.'

Valkyrie brushed the tear away that was threatening to pour down her cheek. 'I...I don't know what to say.'

Skulduggery laughed shakily, looked at her, and then felt a pang of guilt hit him. 'You're crying.'

'No I'm not.'

'Don't lie.' He said softly.

_I still have trouble_

_I trip and stumble_

_Trying to make sense of things sometimes_

_I look for reasons but I don't need them_

_All I need is to look in your eyes_

_And I realize..._

Valkyrie dropped down in front of the grave. Skulduggery tilted his head in confusion as she pulled away the ivy, threw the dead leaves aside and attempted to scrub the stone with her sleeve. He hesitantly knelt beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. 'Valkyrie.'

She stopped and looked at him with glazed eyes. 'I want to make it better.'

'You don't need to, darling.' He replied, gently pulling her hands away from his grave. 'I'm here. Where I'm meant to be.' He said, wrapping his arms around her.

_Baby I'm not alone 'cause you're here with me _

_And nothing's ever gonna take us down_

_Cause nothing, nothing, nothing can keep me from loving you_

_And you know it's true _

_It don't matter what'll come to me _

_You know our love is all we need _

_Our love is all we need to make it through..._


	57. Shampain:Marina and The Diamonds

**This one kinda sucks, but what the hell. **

**No, I don't own the song. **

**OH BY THE WAY. Some of friends (I know, I can't believe I have friends either) have put together a vloggy channel thing on youtube, called Dumblewhores (Yes, I agree. The name is...yeah.) And I might, might, might pop up on the occasion. **

* * *

Valkyries head spun-everything in her sight had become a wave of incoherent colour. She sank down against the wall, lying on her side on the dirty, cold pavement.

'Why the hell are you being so defensive?' Skulduggery shouted at Valkyries angered stare. 'This means literally nothing to you!'

She snarled at him. 'Like that matters. China is the worst...more than the worst, and you've started dating her?'

'We've all done things we regret. China has plenty of regrets, but-'

'What? No, nothing can justify what she's done to you and your family.'

'If I forgive her, then what's the problem?'

Valkyrie lost it. It's easy to annoy Miss Cain, but not many things can really pierce her heart. 'You could do so much better!'

'Like who?'

Time stopped for what seemed like an eternity. Skulduggery slowly stepped towards her. 'You're joking.'

Valkyrie flushed red and darted out of the door.

_Lay dagger dead inside a lonely bed_

_Trying to hide the hole inside my head_

_Watching the stars slide down to reach their end_

_'Cause sleep is not my friend_

* * *

Valkyrie stormed towards her house, letting herself in quickly. Echo-Gordon appeared from behind the staircase, watching her scamper upstairs.

'Everything okay?' He asked brightly.

'Oh, everything's bloody _marvellous_.' She replied bitterly.

Once she had shut herself in her bedroom, Valkyrie let herself think. What have I done? He brain screamed at her. All she wanted to do was to forget...

She stared at herself in the mirror on her wall. Go on, you know you want to. You want to forget, don't you? She ran to her wardrobe fishing out her little black dress.

_Drinking champagne to forget yesterday_

_'Cause I remember the way, the way, the way_

_It ended the day, the day, the day, the day_

_That I walked away, away, away, away_

* * *

Teetering on high-heels, black dress barley reaching her thighs, make-up caked on in ridiculous amounts.

This wasn't the Valkyrie Cain people knew.

She wasn't sure where she was headed-she had never gone out drinking properly before. She veered off and head to a bar a few minutes away. A group of men wolf-whistled in Valkyries direction. She looked over her shoulder at them as she walked, suddenly feeling very exposed in her skin-tight dress. Keep walking. She opened the door to the bar, the music filling her head as soon as she walked in.

_Drinking champagne _

_Made by the angel_

_Who goes by the name_

_Of Glitter and Gabriel_

_Drinking champagne _

_Made of an angels tears and pain _

_But I feel celestial._

She wanted to walk straight back out again, but she kept going forward-past the dancing groups of youths, ending up at the front of the bar table. A tall, balding man who resembled the shape of a lava-lamp glared at Valkyrie. 'What can I get you love?'

Valkyries mouth went dry. 'Um...whatever's strongest.'

'A round of vodka shots then. 'He said, pouring out the drinks and presenting them to her. He waited. '...pay up then.'

_Damn._

'I don't have any money.'

The barman sighed and began to clear the drinks away.

'Wait!' Valkyrie said quickly. She leaned over the bar table until she was practically sitting on it. 'That's a shame, isn't it? I guess I'll have to go thirsty.' She smiled.

The barman paused and smirked. 'Good girl.' He said quietly, putting the drinks back onto the table. Valkyrie nodded and leaned back again, taking one of the drinks.

_Elderly stars slide down the lonely sky _

_Slipping away to find a place to die _

_I wonder when the night will reach the end_

_'Cause sleep is not my friend_

Valkyrie swallowed one of the drinks back and coughed-her mouth felt like it was burning.

'You alright?' The barman asked. She nodded briefly and gestured for another. 'Are you sure?'

'Yup.'

He frowned at her but didn't say anything, handing her another.

This carried on until Valkyrie had drunk almost the equivalent to a bottle. She slammed down the glass. 'Another.'

The barman shook his head. 'I think you've had quite enough, sweetheart.'

She glared at him with clouded eyes. 'Don't tell me what to do!'

'Alright, just calm down a bit-'

'Serve me.'

'No, I don't that's a good idea, love.'

_Drinking champagne _

_Meant for a wedding_

_Toast to the bride of fairy tale endings_

_Drinking champagne _

_A bottle to my soul_

_Savour the taste of a fabricated world_

Valkyrie snarled at him. 'How dare you! Do as I say!'

The barman rolled his eyes and came out from behind the bar. 'Right, that's enough of that.' He said sternly taking her arm and leading her away. She tried to shake him off.

'What? No, you can't kick me out!'

'I think you'll find I can.'

'No, no you can't.' She slurred. He ignored her and led her to the door, lightly pushing her out. Valkyrie staggered out, the night air hitting her bare arms. She stared at the now-closed door, before shouting, 'Fine! Like I care!' She hurled incoherent abuse, spat on the door-step, and stamped away. Her head had started to whirl into a mess a while ago. She pressed a hand against her forehead, the other hand propping her against a wall.

_Drinking champagne _

_Made by the angel_

_Who goes by the name_

_Of Glitter and Gabriel_

_Drinking champagne _

_Made of an angels tears and pain _

_But I feel celestial._

Valkyries head spun-everything in her sight had become a wave of incoherent colour. She sank down against the wall, lying on her side on the dirty, cold pavement.

'I don't like it!' She cried, tears springing to her eyes. All she wanted to do was sleep for an eternity.

* * *

Skulduggery slammed his car door, looking around desperately for his work partner...and then he saw a passed-out Valkyrie on the road-side. He sighed and carefully picked her up, taking her back to Gordon's manor.

'Valkyrie, you silly girl.'

She grunted in her sleep as a form of reply.

_Drinking champagne _

_Made by the angel_

_Who goes by the name_

_Of Glitter and Gabriel_

_Drinking champagne _

_Made of an angels tears and pain _

_But I feel celestial._


	58. Shampain part 2

A bunch of five-year-olds starting a riot in your head? A contest of tug-of-war going on from ear to ear? A psychotic builder drilling through your temples?

No, nothing hurt as much as Valkyries headache.

'Valkyrie, wakey-wakey...'

'Mhmff.'

'How are you feeling?'

Valkyrie opened one eye slowly, and then automatically pressed her hand to her forehead. 'Oh my God...' She groaned.

'That good, eh?' Skulduggerys voice rang out. She glanced over to see him standing over her, head tilted. 'I found you passed out by the side of the road.'

'My head...'

'You slept very well, I'll give you that.'

She screwed up her eyes. 'What's... ?'

Skulduggery slipped his hands his pockets. 'It's okay. You're at Gordon's house. When I found you, I gave you a lift when I found you.'

'Oh.'

'Mm. Luckily you weren't si-'

Valkyrie suddenly shot forwards, being violently sick all over the front of Skulduggery's suit. Skulduggery stepped back slightly, raising his arms. '...Right.'

Valkyrie melted back down into her bed, groaning. 'Sorry.'

'It's fine...I'll just...' He said quietly, 'I'll leave you to sleep whilst I...' He sighed and left the room.

Skulduggery stared at himself in the full-length mirror, unbuttoning his white shirt. He heard a knock at the door.

'Can I come in?'

'Not yet.'

'Oh.'

'You're awake then.'

'Yeah.' There was a pause, before Valkyrie said, 'Sorry I was sick on you.'

Skulduggery laughed. 'That's okay. I'm used to it.'

Valkyrie frowned at the door. 'Why?'

'I had a child once.'

Valkyrie nodded. 'Oh yeah.' There was a moment of silence. '...Can I come in now?' Valkyrie asked again.

'No.'

'Okay.'

Skulduggery hesitated, scrubbing his jacket clean with a flannel. 'Before you left my house yesterday...' Valkyrie held her breath un-consciously. '...You said that I could do so much better.'

She leaned against the door. '...Yup.'

'You left before I could ask you what you meant.'

'It wasn't important.' Valkyrie said quickly.

'I beg to differ.'

She pursed her lips and looked at the floor. '...I...'

'If it's any consolation,' Skulduggery interjected, 'I broke up with China.'

Valkyrie felt a wave of relief rush through her. She felt herself smile. 'Oh.'

'Mm.'

She suddenly felt a pang of guilt hit her. 'I'm sorry.'

'No, no. It's for my own good; you were right about her.'

She nodded to herself. Skulduggery leaned against the door on the other side. 'As I was saying,' he continued, 'before you left, you said-'

'I know.'

'Do you want to explain?'

'Not particularly.'

'Ah.'

Another silence.

'How long have you...liked me?'

Valkyrie bit her lip and didn't say anything.

'...Valkyrie.' Skulduggery said, urging for an answer.

'I don't know. What does it matter?'

Skulduggery shook his skull. 'What could matter more?'

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and leaned away from the door. 'Everything! So what if I like you? Nothing will happen. I'll stop working with you, I'll stop going to the Sanctuary. It's clearly for the best.' She walked away from the door, fringe falling in her eyes.

Skulduggery started to open the door, realised that he didn't have a shirt on, and closed it again. 'Valkyrie!' He called.

'Forget it.'


	59. Texting

Skulduggery doesn't really do texting that often. Only Valkyrie seems to do so.

**-Are you here yet? VC**

-Patience. I'm about twenty minutes away. SP.

**-Hurry up! VC**

-...Are you here yet? VC

**-Exactly how does three minutes equal the same as twenty? SP**

-You shouldn't be texting whilst driving. VC

**-That's the good thing about having no eyes. You can concentrate on more than one thing at a time. SP.**

-...Is that true? VC

**-No. I was just saying it to make you feel better. SP**

-If you die, I will not help. VC

**-How rude. SP**

-You took your time replying. I thought you'd died. VC

**-No, I died ages ago. My hat fell in front of my non-existent face. SP**

** -**Totally not laughing hysterically right now. VC

** -Sarcasm? SP**

** -**Well done. Laughing at your stupid hat. VC

** -My hats aren't stupid. They're just interesting. You are hurting their feelings. SP**

** -**Are you telling me that your hats have personalities? VC

**-Correct. For example, the hat I'm wearing is called Valkyrie. SP**

** -**...What? VC

** -Valkyrie's my favorite hat. SP**

-...Are you trying to flirt with me? VC

**-Slightly. How am I doing? SP**

** -**Voldermort could probably do better, but nice try. VC

** -Oh well. I tried. SP**

-I don't mind VC

** -...Really? SP**

-Really. You don't need to flirt with me, you do it anyway without thinking about it. VC

**-...Oh. Do I? In what way? SP**

** -**Don't know. Whatever you're doing, it's working. Are you here yet? VC

**-Yes. SP**

* * *

Valkyrie looked out of her window to see him parking on Gordons drive. She opened the front door before he could walk up to it. She leaned against the doorframe.  
'You took your time.'  
'I took as long as much time as I needed to.'  
'Sure.' She smiled as he stood in front of her.  
'...I'm an idiot, aren't I?' He said quietly.  
Valkyrie grinned and stood on her tip-toes, kissing his teeth. Skulduggery hesitantly wrapped an arm around her waist as she parted slightly.  
'So,' Skulduggery said. 'Saying that I'm an idiot constitues as flirting according to you.'  
'Yup.' 'You're a strange woman.'  
'And you're a skeleton.'  
Skulduggery smirked and kissed her forehead. 'Problem?'  
Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. 'Weirdly enough, no.'  
'You fancy me.'  
'Oh, well done Sherlock Holmes.'  
'I fancy me as well.'  
'I know. It's a bad quality of yours.'  
Skulduggery laughed and kissed her again. 'But you love it.'


	60. Girls

**RIGHT! A little bit of Kingdom of The Wicked spoilers, but I haven't finished reading the book! I'm only half-way, so tell me nooooootttthhhhing!**

******-I'm going to the Bluewater signing that Derek Landy's doing on the 9th! Keep your eyes peeled for a short 15 year old girl with brown curly hair, most likely wearing a black trilby and a Sherlock t-shirt, blue converses and dark jeans (the t-shirt will probably be a dark blue one with Sherlock playing with a rubix cube). If you see me there, please bound up to me! I have no idea what time I'll be going (probably as soon as it starts, which is at 12:00).**

******Shall I continue this? Lemme know!**

* * *

Carol and Crystal had grown on Valkyrie as mediocre company. Because of this little fact, Valkyrie had been dragged to a "fun girly sleepover" at their house. Now, Valkyrie had never been described as fun or girly, so she decided to give this one a miss. And then Carol and Crystal saw her in the street that day and dragged her back into their house kicking and screaming. Well, internally kicking and screaming.

'Isn't this fun?' Crystal said happily, shaking a bottle of nail varnish. Valkyrie wrapped her arms around her knees.

'Isn't it just.'

'Oh my God, you know Becky?' Carol said.

'No.'

'Yeah you do. You know Becky.'

'I really don't.' Valkyrie said warily.

Crystal rolled her eyes. 'You do know Becky!'

'Do I?'

'Yeah, _Becky_ Becky. Everyone knows her.'

'Am I allowed to be an exception?'

'No.'

'Okay.'

'Anyway,' Carol said, 'she's going out with that George Hammersmith.'

Crystal's eyes widened. 'No!'

'Yeah, and not only that, him and her were talking to Debs even though he broke up with her last Tuesday!'

Crystal had some sort of seizure. 'You're not serious!'

Valkyrie looked vaguely confused. Is this what normal teenagers talk about? Sounds incredibly dull. She'd rather be punching someone to be honest. Everything's much more interesting when you're punching someone. She decided that she wanted to punch Becky.

Crystal started shuffling towards Valkyrie, armed with deep purple nail varnish. Valkyrie blinked at her. 'What are you doing?'

Crystal pinned down Valkyries left hand. 'Painting your nails.'

'Oh.' Is nail varnish flammable? Will she blow up if she summoned a flame whilst wearing nail varnish? That would be a freaking _sassy_ way to die.

Carol looked at Valkyrie. 'When was the last time you pamper yourself, Val?'

'I don't.'

'Seriously? I thought you got a subscription to that health spa place.'

'I don't really use it that much, it's not really me. You've got nail varnish on your duvet.'

'Ah well.'

Carol grabbed some mascara and scooted towards Valkyrie. 'Can I put some make-up on you?'

'No.'

'Don't care.'

'I didn't get a choice, did I?' Carol started attacking Valkyrie's eyes with the mascara wand. 'Ow!'

'Oh, grow up.'

'I'm younger than both of you.'

'I know, I know.'

Crystal finished painting one hand. 'Shake your left hand about a bit.' Valkyrie hesitantly did as she was told.

'So, Valkyrie,' Carol said, 'how's Fletch?'

'I broke up with him ages ago. You know this.'

'Yeah, but...how is he?'

'Not interested in you.'

Crystal wrinkled her nose. 'You don't know that.'

'I do.'

'How?'

'Because he's interested in girls like me, and you two are...' Valkyrie chose her words carefully. '...not like me.'

'Well, we could've told you that.' Carol said, 'and since he dumped you, he might want someone different in personality this time.'

'I actually dumped him.'

Both of the twins yelled in surprise. 'You're not serious!?' Carol shrieked.

Valkyrie winced. 'It's complicated. Relationships are complicated.'

'I know, but still!' Crystal said, throwing the mascara back onto her table. 'He was gorgeous.'

'He looked gorgeous, but his intellect was lacking.'

'Like that matters.'

'It really does.'

'So he's free now?'

'No, he's got someone new now.'

Both of the twins sighed. 'What's she like?' Carol said dully.

Valkyrie shrugged. 'Tall, dark hair, big eyes, Australian accent.'

Crystal stared into space. 'She's Australian.'

'Yup. That's where he lives now.'

'He's halfway around the world.'

'Uh-huh.'

'Do you miss him?'

Valkyrie hesitated. 'Not too much.'

'Really? I would have killed myself by now.' Carol muttered.

'Have you got someone else now?' Crystal asked. Valkyrie shook her head. 'Oh, shame.'

'I don't want anyone.'

'Yeah you do.'

'...Sorry?'

'You look lonely.' Carol said. 'Shake your other hand.' Valkyrie flapped her right hand about. 'Cheers. Anyway, as we were saying-' Valkyries phone rang. She excused herself from the room and answered it.

'Hello?'

'Where the Hell are you?!' Skulduggery yelled at her.

'It's my day off, idiot.'

'No it isn't. It's Friday.'

'Friday is my day off.'

'Since when?'

'Since today. I'm sure you're doing fine without me.'

'If I could just stop you right there, dear Valkyrie; I'm currently being attacked by hideous creatures from another dimension.'

'...You're watching Doctor Who repeats, aren't you?'

'Maybe.'

'You want someone to come round to watch it with you because you're scared of the Smilers.'

'Shh.'

'Bless. This is hilarious.'

'There is nothing hilarious about the Smilers.'

'I'll be there soon. Expect me to have aubergine-coloured nails and spider eyelashes.'

'Right. Should I dare ask why?'

'No. I'll see you in a bit.' She hung up and walked back into Carol and Crystals bedroom. 'I've gotta run, I'll catch up with you two later.'

Crystal looked at her. 'You got a date?'

Valkyrie shrugged on her coat. 'You're obsessed with hooking me up with someone! It was just Skulduggery on the phone.'

'You like him.'

'...I do?'

'Yup. We'll let you get back to your incredibly skinny boyfriend.' Carol replied, grabbing Valkyries arm and marching her downstairs towards the front door. 'Have a nice time.'

'No, I don't-'

'Yeah you do.' Carol threw her out of the door. 'He's not my first choice for you, but he'll do. Get married and have many babies with him.'

'But I-'

'Okay, love you too, bye.' Carol slammed the door.


	61. Girls part 2

**Hello! Just a really, really short chapter to finish 'Girls' off. Enjoy, and there will be a longer, better one very soon!**

* * *

'Do you want salted popcorn or...' Skulduggery paused and then scanned the rest of the kitchen cupboards. '...Salted popcorn?'

Valkyrie lounged back on the sofa in the living-room. 'Oh, what a variety you have.' She called back. 'Salted.'

'Good choice.' Skulduggery said.

'I prefer sugary popcorn.'

'It's a cruel world we live in, Valkyrie.' He emptied the box of kernels into a bowl and paused, opening the microwave door with his free hand. 'Valkyrie?'

'What?'

'How do you use a microwave again?' He heard her sigh loudly. 'I'm sorry-I forget these things.'

'Right, have you opened the door-thing?'

'Yes.'

'Excellent start. Stick the bowl inside and shut the door-thing again.' There was a pause. '...Done it?'

'Yes.'

'Okay, on the side of it are two knobs. Do you see the two knobs?'

'I am seeing the knobs.' Skulduggery said. Valkyrie snorted out a suppressed laugh. 'Yeah, very funny. Now what?'

Valkyrie took a deep breath, trying not to laugh. 'Turn one of the knobs marked "power" to "high".'

'The knob is now high.'

Valkyrie muttered something along the lines of 'oh, I bet it is,' before raising her voice. 'Turn the other knob marked "time" to about 3 minutes.'

'Done.'

Silence. '...Press go.'

'Oh.' There was a beep and the microwave started whirring. 'I'm so proud of myself.'

Valkyrie started rifling through a load of DVD box-sets. 'What episode?'

'Any. You choose.'

'The Smiler one then.'

'Not the Smiler one.'

'You said any!'

'Any but that one.'

Valkyrie grumbled to herself and looked at the other DVD titles. 'Time of Angels?'

'That'll do.'

'It's a scary on.'

'I'm sure I'll cope.' Skulduggery replied, switching off the microwave. After a few moments he carried the popcorn into the living-room. Valkyrie quickly started the DVD and scampered back into the sofa. The theme-tune started up and Valkyrie started screaming along to it like a banshee.

'Ooo-wee-ooo!'

'Stop that.'

'Ooo-ooo-woo!'

'This really isn't necessary.'

'Eee-oo-wooo-dooo-doo-dooo!'

'I can hear it just fine, I don't need you to sing along for me.'

'Oo-wee-oooo!' Valkyrie screeched, and then went silent again.

Skulduggery looked at her. 'Finished?'

'Yup.'

'Wonderful.' The first scene started up. 'I don't remember this epi-'

'Shush.'

'Sorry?'

'Be quiet- Doctor Who's on.'

'Ah.' They both fell silent. Valkyrie wolfed down popcorn and unconsciously handed the bowl to Skulduggery. He took it, staring down at it-if it was possible for him to look sad, then he would do. 'I'm not capable of eat-'

'Sh!'

'Alright.'

Another length of silence. Skulduggery absent-mindedly picked up a popcorn kernel, breaking it apart in his fingers. 'Karen Gillian is very pretty.' He whispered.

'I know. I want her.'

Skulduggery went still, before slowly turning his head in Valkyries direction. 'Since when were you into girls?'

'I'm not, but she is stunning-she's my exception. Like you fancy that old actor George Raft.'

Skulduggery sighed. 'Oh, yes.'

Valkyrie laughed and turned her attention back to the television screen. 'Knew it.'


	62. None of Your Business

'I hate being summoned.'

'Really? You've never mentioned it before.'

'Oh, ha ha.' Valkyrie muttered, fixing her gaze on the blur of trees and houses racing past the Bentley. '...I hate being summoned.'

'You've just said that.' Skulduggery replied.

'And I'm saying it again.'

'We're only going to the sanctuary.'

'I feel like I'm going to the head-masters office at school.'

Skulduggery glanced at her, and then turned his attention back to the road. 'I'm sorry?'

'You know, when you misbehave at school, you get sent to the head-masters office.'

'Valkyrie, you're twenty-three years old. When was the last time you got sent to your head-teachers office?'

'It was just an analogy, no need to get so worked up about it.'

'I'm sure you were never sent to your headmasters office.'

'I was.'

'Really? Why?'

'Lots of reasons-the first time was when I stamped on my teachers foot because she asked me a question.'

'How old were you?'

'Six.'

Skulduggery went silent. '...Oh.'

'Yeah.'

'Violent then and violent now.'

'Indeed.'

Skulduggery braked and took the key from the ignition. 'We're here.'

'I can see that.' Valkyrie let herself out of the car with Skulduggery doing the same. After he locked it, he led the way towards the Sanctuary's double doors. They waited in the foyer until one of the Sanctuary agents approached. They both stood up to follow him when the agent held out his palm.

'Just Mr Pleasant, please.'

Valkyrie frowned. 'But we're always-'

'Those are the elder's orders, miss.'

Skulduggery turned to her. 'You can wait in the car.' He said, handing her the keys.

'I'm not a dog.'

'I won't be long. Go amuse yourself in some way.'

'Fine. I'll just listen to the car radio.'

'Don't,' Skulduggery barked. He paused and then said a quiet, 'don't do that. I've got it tuned in just right.'

'So I'm not allowed to listen to it.'

'Not really.'

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and threw Skulduggerys keys back to him. 'Forget it. I won't bother waiting in the car; I'll just stand awkwardly outside.'

'Mr Pleasant.' The agent pressed.

Skulduggery sighed. 'I'll see you later.' He told Valkyrie, before following the agent down the long corridor, leaving her looking at nothing.

'See you later.' She muttered.

'You took your time.' Ravel said from the stand.

Skulduggery looked at him and Ghastly. 'I was talking to Valkyrie.' The two mages looked at each other and then shuffled from foot to foot. Skulduggery tilted his head. 'What? I was speaking to her outside. She's wanted to come in, by the way. She's rather annoyed.'

'Skulduggery, Valkyrie wasn't allowed to be in this meeting.' Erskine said.

'Obviously. We've already had this conversation with one of the agents.' Skulduggery glanced at his pocket-watch. 'How long will this take?'

'This is quite a delicate matter.' Ghastly said.

'Is this about the casino case? We've already sent out a letter of apology for spilling champagne over the owner's wife-'

'This isn't about that.'

'Then what?'

'Valkyrie.'

'My name's Skulduggery, not Valkyrie.'

'I mean the meeting's about Valkyrie.' The Grand Mage said.

Skulduggery tilted his head in an attempt to look confused. 'I'm...sorry?!'

'We've called you here to talk to you about Valkyrie.'

'May I ask why?'

'We know that you've known each other for a long time.'

'Yes.' Skulduggery said slowly.

'We know that you've been through a lot.'

'Of course we have.'

'We know that you've played a big part in each other's lives.'

'Where is this going?'

Ghastly hesitated. 'We're trying to think about what's best for the both of you.'

'Just tell me what this is about.'

'Okay, fine. We think that you're getting too close to Valkyrie.'

Skulduggery stepped back. 'What!?'

'I know it's not really any of our business-'

'Correct.'

'-But for the safety of your work relationship to remain stable,' Erskine said, 'we want to make sure you two stay as friends.'

'Are you seriously implying that Valkyrie and I are in a relationship?'

'Not yet, but I can see this idea...brimming.'

'So you're suggesting she's interested in me.'

'The other way round.' Ghastly cut in.

'You're saying that I fancy her.'

'Yes.'

'Why? Exactly what proof do you have?'

The two mages looked at each other. 'We...don't know.' Erskine muttered.

'There you are then. Why are we talking about this if you have no proof?'

'We've known you for a long time; we know the signs.'

'Like what?'

'You hang onto her every word, Skul. Stop pretending that you don't.'

Skulduggery looked at them for a long time. 'Are we done here?'

Erskine shrugged. 'You tell me.'

Valkyrie looked up at Skulduggery as he walked backed through the sanctuary's doors leading outside. 'That was quick.'

'Complete waste of my time.' Skulduggery said, starting to walk towards the Bentley.

Valkyrie walked with him. 'Why? What's happened?'

'It's not important.'

'Tell me.'

'You're too young.'

'...I'm twenty-three.'

Skulduggery stopped walking and put a hand on Valkyrie's shoulder, making her stop as well. 'They think that we're...' He looked around and then whispered in her ear.

Valkyrie frowned and then rolled her eyes as Skulduggery straightened up. 'Don't be ridiculous, Skul.'

'I'm being genuinely serious.'

'They think that we're together.'

'Or heading that way, yes.'

'Why?'

'Not a clue.'

'What's it got to do with them?'

'God knows. They were saying something about "professional" relationships or something.'

'Well, they can shut their mouths.'

'Now, now; be nice. Remember that they're our bosses.' Skulduggery reminded her.

'They're also my friends-I have every right to say this.'

Skulduggery chuckled. 'Fine. Let's just get out of here before we get kicked out.'

Valkyrie looked around. 'Exactly how would we get kicked out of an empty car-park?'

'Details.' He held out his hand for the car-keys which Valkyrie reluctantly gave to him.

'Can't I drive?'

'When you pass your driving test, yes.'

Valkyrie groaned. 'I've taken it three times already!'

'Yes, and when you stop running over pedestrians you'll actually pass it.'

'I learn from the best.' Valkyrie said, directing the comment at the skeleton detective.

'Hush now.' He said.

Valkyrie was about to stand by the car before she spun round. Skulduggery looked at her, and then over her shoulder to see Erskine and Ghastly standing not far off from them. 'Ah.' Sensing danger, he said a stern, 'Valkyrie,' but was ignored as she stormed towards them. He followed her quickly. 'Valkyrie, please stop tormenting people.'

'Right.' Valkyrie began in front of two very confused mages. 'I am allowed to be in a relationship with whoever I damn well want.'

Erskine glared at Skulduggery. 'That was supposed to be a private, confidential meeting.'

'She forced me.' Skulduggery said quickly.

'As I was saying,' Valkyrie continued, 'it has got nothing to with you, or anyone if I go out someone. And, you know what? Maybe I have a crush on Skulduggery.'

Skulduggery looked up at her. 'You do?'

'Maybe I'm dating him-'

'You are?'

'-Maybe we love each other.'

'We do?'

'But it has nothing to do anyone else.'

'It doesn't?'

Valkyrie stepped back to stand beside Skulduggery. 'And before you start, "it's for your safety", blah, blah...' She kissed Skulduggerys cheekbone. 'There. That didn't kill me, did it?'

Ghastly and Erskine looked at each other. 'We're only doing this,' Ghastly said, 'for your protection.'

'So, you're fine with me running head-long into battles and raids since I was twelve, but you're not okay with me potentially having a relationship. She shook her head. 'Get your priorities sorted.'

Skulduggery tugged on Valkyrie's sleeve. 'We'll be going now.'

'Yes, I think you two should.' Ghastly said. Skulduggery mumbled some sort of apology, before dragging Valkyrie away towards the car again.

As soon as they were out of ear-shot, Skulduggery let go of her. 'Happy now?'

'You're admitting defeat now?!'

'I'm not admitting defeat; I'm just giving this victory away to them because they've had a bad day.'

'Come on-we were so close.'

'I'm rather worried as to why you want to win this argument with them.'

Valkyrie scowled at him. 'Shut your mouth. I just want to prove a point.'

'Valkyrie,' Skulduggery tilted his head at her. 'Do you have a thing for me? Do you have a thing for a skeleton?'

Valkyrie ignored his question and looked at the two mages who were talking amongst themselves not far off from them. They looked at her. 'I want to mess with their heads.' She muttered.

'Is that wise?'

She looked at them and then at him, a look of mischief starting to form on her face. 'No.' she said, before grabbing Skulduggerys lapels of his jacket, pressing her lips against his teeth.

Skulduggery said a muffled, 'why?', before slowly snaking an arm around her waist, attempting to kiss her back. Eventually they parted and looked over at the mages' stunned expressions. Skulduggery seemed slightly dazed as he said a quiet, 'that wasn't planned.'

'Are they watching?'

'I...'

'Are they?'

'Yes...'

'Great.' Valkyrie grabbed Skulduggery's car-keys off him and let herself into the Bentley.

Let's just say that the drive home was pretty frosty.


	63. Beast Within part 1

**It's been a while. Forgive me. **

**This beautiful idea was given to me by WarameeraMare. It's just...it's such a wonderful idea for me to run with, and I thank-you very much for letting me have it. **

**This will most likely be a multi-chap...thing. it's an AU, it's a little different, but hey. Enjoy.**

* * *

She had tried to tell him before. She really, honestly did. Every time they were on their own, she tried to open her mouth to say it, but something would always stop her.

She was terrified when it first happened. She barely even remembered how it happened-one minute she was angry at her university homework, the next minute she was lying exhausted on her living-room for, the furniture ripped to shreds.

She had no idea how it started. She went on a research fest to find out how it occurred, but came back with nothing of importance; just a load of Harry Potter references and Spider-man character profiles. She'd never felt more alone in her life.

She prayed every day that it wouldn't happen around anyone, specifically him. What if he found out one day and was so terrified of her that he'd never come back? That thought had plagued her for such a long time now that it had imbedded itself into her head.

The worst times were when she was frustrated or angry-those were the most unpredictable and dangerous times. She wished that she was able to control it like she was learning to with Darquesse. Why tried to work out why this thing was happening to her, or how it would, but she would always reach a dead end. The only thing she could work out was when it was going to happen. That gave her just enough time to leave wherever she was so she could be alone for as long as she needed to be.

It varied how long she would stay like this-sometimes it only lasted for about half an hour. Other times it would take up the whole day. She had never told anyone about this, simply because she was too damn terrified of their reaction. She would become an outcast as soon as anyone else knew about it, she was sure of it. She knew the magical community had seen just about anything, but she doubted that they'd seen something like this.

Valkyrie was normally so careful about trying to keep her temper in check so she didn't become something that wasn't herself. But today, however, Skulduggery Pleasant was_ really _winding her up.

'You like him.'

'Shut up.'

'But I am slightly right though.'

'I really do not still fancy Fletcher, and if you say it one more time then I'll punch you right in your eye-socket.'

Skulduggery wandered around the living-room with his hands in his pockets. 'I'd like to see you try.'

'Don't tempt me.'

'Like you would anyway. You'd never consider hurting your favourite skeleton.'

'You're the only bloody skeleton I know.'

'Exactly. I'm a unique specimen.'

'It's not gonna stop me though.' Valkyrie said quietly, trying to keep her voice steady.

There was a pause, before Skulduggery shrugged. 'So, you still like him then.'

Valkyrie groaned and balled her hands up into fists. 'Please shut up right this second.'

'No.'

'Please?'

'Make me.'

'I don't see why you assume that I still fancy him.'

'Because you do. I'm just stating a fact.'

Valkyrie snarled and turned around in her seat to glare at him. 'Are you deliberately trying to wind me up?!'

'Of course not, although it is slightly amusing.'

'You'll regret it though.'

'So you keep saying.'

Valkyrie felt her mind starting to tick over into extreme annoyance. Her eyes darkened. 'You need to stop or-'

Skulduggery tilted his head. 'Or what? You'll have a tantrum?'

Her brain suddenly disconnected from the rest of the world. Her limbs stiffened as she stood up. 'I have to go.'

Skulduggery raised his head. 'What? Why?'

'I just do.' Her skin started to prickle as if it was being burnt. She practically ran to the door before the detective stopped her by placing a hand on her shoulder.

'Did I upset you?'

'No, I just-'

'I'm sorry if I did, you know I was only teasing.'

Valkyrie's eyes stung. She blinked several times. 'Move away.'

'Why? What did I say?'

'Please, just move-I don't want to do anything terrible.'

'What are you talking about?!'

'Get off me.' Valkyrie shoved passed him, making a bee-line for her bedroom. She heard him run up the staircase right behind her.

'Valkyrie!'

'Leave me alone, just go back downstairs!'

'I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me what's wrong!'

Valkyrie's scalp itched and her back ached-standing upright suddenly didn't seem natural. She stumbled up the last stair, staggering towards the end of the corridor. 'Don't come near me, understand? Don't come even close!'

Skulduggery slowed but didn't stop. 'Why? What's happening?'

'It doesn't matter.' Valkyrie clawed at the door-handle, her fingers slipping.

'Of course it does, you can barely even stand up!'

The door flew open and Valkyrie bolted inside. 'Whatever you do, whatever you hear, whatever happens, do not open this door!'

Skulduggery's voice suddenly sounded scared. 'Please tell me what's happening.'

Valkyrie didn't answer as she slammed the door shut behind her.

Skulduggery paced up and down the corridor, his hands clasped together in front of his teeth. A scream came from behind the door and he unconsciously ran towards it. 'Valkyrie, what's going on?'

The muffled noise of clothing being ripped made the skeleton grip onto the door handle. Every bone in his body screamed at him to open the door to see if he could help her. He rapped his fist on the door. 'Valkyrie!'

A growl sent a shiver down Skulduggerys spine. He went still. 'What was that?'

The growling intensified, making Skulduggery step back in alarm. His worry turned to terror as his hands shook.

And then the growling stopped.

Skulduggery listened cautiously. 'Valkyrie?' He said carefully. Despite her instructions, he placed his hand back over the door handle.

'I need to see if you're okay.'

No answer.

'I know you don't want me to come in, but I have to.'

No answer.

'I'm coming in right now...' he took a deep non-existent breath and pressed down, opening the door.

Valkyrie's clothes were ripped in half on the floor, her furniture torn to shreds.

But that was not what Skulduggery was focusing on.

'Oh my God.' He said. His whole body went rigid as a shaggy black panther stared up at him, eyes burning yellow.


End file.
